Symptoms broken down

Here is a breakdown of the symptoms of the disorder, with a deeper explanation of what they mean. A person needs to have five or more symptoms of the disorder in order to be diagnosed. The symptoms may vary in depth according to outside live events and stressful situations, and the manifestation of symptoms may vary from person to person. Because of this, there are no stereo types or text book cases, no one size fits all.

Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention

What does this mean exactly? Does it mean showing off? Does it mean that a person has to constantly command an audience? Could this symptom manifest more subtly? Does it manifest across a whole range of situations? The way this symptom manifests will vary according to the situation and the person. One person may seek attention by being constantly in the sick role, whilst another might use passive aggressive manipulations, and another may be the life and soul of the party. There are many variables. People with HPD require attention because of a fundamental sense of low self esteem. They feel that they have no worth or value unless other people are paying them attention. In many cases, they haven't received validation as a child, or the right type of attention from their parents. Their parents may have ignored them altogether, or only rewarded them by giving them attention for certain behaviours. They may have come from large families and developed these coping mechanisms in order to make themselves feel heard or they may have been overlooked altogether. Very often, the attention seeking tactics escalate and cause a self fulfilling prophecy. To other people, these demands for attention may be draining, and irritating, causing them to ignore the person, which will reinforce the HPDs sense of low self esteem, and they may resort to more extreme measures to secure attention. Because they are so caught up in this pattern, empathy is lost, and the person with HPD will be unaware of the impact of their actions upon others. The reasons for their actions are very rarely conscious or deliberate, and they are very often adopting learnt techniques to secure attention. The right type of therapy, which addresses the underlying issues, can enable the person to feel secure within themselves, and thereby lose the need to seek out attention from external sources.

Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior

Because a person with HPD has such a low sense of worth, they will seek approval from others, often constantly. They will often adopt the path of least resistance, which could mean that seeking out sexual attention is the easiest option. They may also become seductive in other ways that are not sexual, by becoming appeasing. They adopt seductive strategies in order to seek validation. It can be another form of attention seeking. They may also believe that by securing sexual contact they are securing love.

Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions

The person with HPD harbours a deep hurt, so deep and intense that it is buried. They may use denial as a coping mechanism, often acting gregariously, using humour to deflect, and suppressing their inner pain. It is, however, never far from the surface, and never far from consciousness. At times it will emerge in short, intense, dramatic outbursts, often appearing as an over reaction to a minor event. This is scary for the person with HPD, who will immediately use maladaptive coping mechanisms to bury the emotion again, and it will disappear quickly. They are also often psychologically trapped at the emotional stage of their childhood when their pain began. Rather like a child, who cries easily and intensely at the slightest provocation and then just as quickly is distracted by something amusing, the HPD switches emotions rapdily. This can be bewildering for a non, who has learnt how to process their emotions in an adult manner, and they can perceive the person with HPD to be emotionally labile and shallow, with emotions that seem fake. They are not fake, however, and are intensely felt.


Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to themself

The person with HPD has not learnt to value themselves from an internal perspective. Very often their parents ignored or invalidated things like academic achievements, thoughts, opinions, emotions etc. This caused the HPD to feel unworthy, not valuable, not valid, and sometimes ugly inside. As a coping mechanism, their focus turned to external things, and appearances and impressions. They focused on all manner of external IMPRESSIONS because they were denied EXPRESSION. In addition to physical appearance, the HPD may try to create an impression by tone of voice, vocal impressions, exagerated mannerisms etc, and even by the way they furnish their homes. They are very often dramatic in appearance, and not always necessarily physically attractive. If they are attractive, this will bolster their low self esteem and become an extreme focus. The focus on physical appearance is also a source of attention.

Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail

I'm of the opinion that there may actually be cognitive reasons for this. I hope to read and research any evidence there might be for this. The psychological reasons for this could be related to the fact that the focus has been upon IMPRESSION rather than EXPRESSION. The HPD may possibly have a different perception of the world that is very global. Some HPDs can appear to be very vague.

Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion

The core non disordered personality type of the HPD is often of the Dramatic Type, and these traits are reflected by this. The HPD tends to catastrophise events, making things seem exagerated.


Is highly suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances

Because the person with HPD lacks a deep sense of self identity, they are very vulnerable to outside influences. This tendency can put them at risk of predatory people, and they may lack the insight to keep themselves safe. They can become very distractible by events and others, which may impact upon their concentration and ability to stick to one task at a time, or they may become highly absorbed by fads, adopting them for some time, until they are distracted by something else.

Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are

Because of their childhood experiences, they have no yardstick to measure intimacy by. Therefore, if a person gives them the attention they are so hungry for, they may mistake this attention for friendship or love. They are often hungry for intimacy, and yet their personality disorder prevents them from achieving this.

The depth of the symptoms may vary from person to person and some symptoms may appear to be more developed than others. They may not display all symptoms. The core of the condition is a need for attention, and when the reasons for these needs are addressed by therapy, and the person's self esteem and sense of security grows, the severity of the symptoms will usually diminish. However, nothing can undo the core injury, and so even after therapy ends, recovery continues. Having this attitude is good, for healing is a process of growth for us all, disordered or not, and to cease the process by saying one is "healed" can cause stagnation of growth and complacency, which is unhealthy. For this reason, I say that I am a HPD in recovery. This ensures that I continue to work on myself every day. It is an ongoing process, and a person may relapse at times of stress or trauma. The faulty thinking patterns may need to be constantly addressed, appraised and observed in order to achieve the benefits of healing. When empathy has been learnt, there is often a dramatic shift in thinking patterns, and there is a great deal of hope if the person is willing to work upon themselves.

A person with HPD will need to learn how to take personal responsibility for themselves, to ensure their own healing, and be prepared to look at themselves very honestly and in depth, whilst also maintaining their sense of self esteem. It can be one of the least disabling of the personality disorders, enabling a person to function professionally and in most areas of life. However, because of this it may go unrecognised. The biggest impact it has on a person is the ability to sustain long, durable intimate relationships. Because humans are programmed to seek out a partner, this can lead to loneliness and depression, and impact heavily upon the person's self esteem that is already poor. The emotional impact upon the HPD and the partner of the HPD can be devastating if the disorder is not addressed or treated.

These are my own observations of the disorder, based upon what I have read and learnt and based upon my own subjective experiences.

masquerade wrote:It IS possible for ALL concerned to recover, but EVERYONE has to take responsibility for themselves. Those, HPD or non, who remain stuck can remain in bitterness and anger, which will ultimately destroy them emotionally. Both HPDs and nons are victims of abuse and their needs are very complex, but there HAS to come a point in their lives, if they are to recover, where they need to be responsible for their own recovery. By taking these steps, they are becoming survivors, and no longer victims, Taking control of their own lives, their own emotional health, and their own psychological health is the best revenge they can take on their abusers.