Do I attract HPDs?

I am going to describe what women do to me and then list some of the symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder. Can anyone tell me if I am attracting this kind of woman? This sort of thing just makes me so reluctant to approach women now cause I cant distinguish between the serious women and the spoiled brats.

I wonder what percentage of Americans are like this. I bet the average for the US is greater than the average for the world population overall.
When I say continuous, I mean for 80 min stints in lecture.

Some symptoms I've observed:

• continuously flirting even after making it clear she has a BF
• winking and smiling continuously
• staring and making eyes from across the room for much longer than is appropriate
• rubbing my arm or other forms of touching
• becoming angry, crinkling noses, grimacing, insulting me when I lose interest
• I asked one chick what race she was, and it pissed her off. she yelled, then the next second she went back to smiling and making eyes at me

Here are some textbook symptoms:

• pervasive and excessive pattern of emotionality and attention-seeking behavior. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious.
• shallow and labile affect, self-dramatization, exaggerated expression of emotions, suggestibility, egocentricity, self-indulgence, and lack of consideration for others
• inappropriate seductiveness and overconcern with physical attractiveness
• absolve themselves from responsibility for their own behavior and engage in manipulative behavior with others to force attention and care-taking
• become intensely angry toward others they see as withholding

I don't believe you deliberately attract histrionics. The fact is that they do this to everyone. They may have BFs and still flirt with other guys to boost their sel-steem. They're addicted to it,
that's their narcissistic supply

Karma wrote:I don't believe you deliberately attract histrionics. The fact is that they do this to everyone. They may have BFs and still flirt with other guys to boost their sel-steem. They're addicted to it,
that's their narcissistic supply

From the symptoms I listed, would you say these women are likely to suffer from narcissistic or histrionic personality disorder?


I do attract these type of women 10times more than I do women who are actually interested in "seeing" me.

From what you wrote yeah it does seem like a lot of HPD babes are coming after you for their attention fix though the race question I can see a normal woman getting pissed off at.

Anyway I once read that if someone has Anti Social Personality Disorder that can really get to an HPD woman and make her want that person and maybe even be a decent girlfriend to them as the ASPD's uncaring behaviour goes well with the Histrionics desire for attention and love in that the histrionic keeps trying to get the ASPD person to change to give the histrionic the love and attention they so desperately crave and the HPD thinks that they possess the magic to bring about this change so they stay with that person in a relationship constantly trying to get the ASPD's love and attention that ultimately never comes.

HPD's tend not to be able to move on until they break someone ie make that person admit their love for them or they at least get a strong sense the other person likes them.

In your case?

Well as your first post no one knows enough about you to suggest ASPD and I'm not suggesting it either maybe this really is your luck to attract these types of women unfortunately. That or you just happen to be in their path when they want their disgusting manipulative attention fix.

KontrollerX wrote:
HPD's tend not to be able to move on until they break someone ie make that person admit their love for them or they at least get a strong sense the other person likes them.

This is very true. They will chase and chase and chase and throw themselves at you until they get you. And then once they have you, after a while, the need to chase and chase and chase someone new will crop up again, undoubtedly, and that's where the problems arise. You become 'safe', and they need the thrill, the fix, the comfort of finding 'new intimacy'. It's not like they want you to go away, it's that they want to have both, and don't understand why you could possibly be upset by that.

But in the OP's case, it may be that you are coming across HPD women. The problem is that you can't do much about it, really, if they have you in their sights, other than recognizing the problem and not giving in to them. In discussing with other 'survivors' of HPD relationships, I've learned that a surprising number entered the relationship with the HPD person after they lost the battle with the persistent chasing, instead of staying firm and rejecting what is clearly a problematic person.

So I think you know what you need to do to protect yourself. By recognising the issue up front, you're already ahead of the game, to be honest.

"I've learned that a surprising number entered the relationship with the HPD person after they lost the battle with the persistent chasing, instead of staying firm and rejecting what is clearly a problematic person."

Yep, and to give you all an idea of how far these people are willing to go in the chase I will inform you that mine chased me for two count em two years but I would not relent to a relationship with her as too many bad things were going on in my life for me to care about or want a relationship with anybody during that time.

This not giving her the attention she craved like all the other guys did willingly made her intensely attracted to me as happens with all HPD women when they are denied what they are seeking.

I eventually succumbed to her game obviously as I'm here and did not know such a thing as HPD existed. I know now that I gave in merely because I was uninformed about HPD, she was so beautful and seemed so in love with me that I reasoned I'd be a fool to keep pushing her away, she seemed genuine due to her being after me for so long and though I noticed she seemed kind of depressed at times I figured she was just down and not suffering from real depression which she does suffer from and which HPD brings about for many HPD sufferers.

Well I asked her if she was Italian or a white latina (cuban, chilean, etc). She freaked out and said "I'm white, damnit!" Then a few seconds later she was back to her giggly self. I dont see how that would be offensive.

Now they are easier to spot cause they are way too enthusiastic when they initially make eye contact with me. But usually the conversation doesnt even get far enough for me to display ASPD characteristics. Most of them just pick me out of the crowd and start making eyes at me.

But a couple of times women who I see while they are working initiate conversations with me each time I see them, beyond the friendliness level. They led me on for a few wks, ask for my number. Then exchange numbers. Leave 2 msgs for them to call. Then they dont call/return msgs. To me thats sick to lead a guy on just for an attention-fix, disregarding what it means for the man to overcome shyness. If you arent interested in someone, then dont act like you are. This just leads to a mistrust of women's intentions. And leads to turning myself off altogether.

In any other country, those signals say "come get me," but here if a woman is too enthusiastic it means she has an attention-seeking complex.

I am moving back to quebec.

Titus Pullo wrote:Well I asked her if she was Italian or a white latina (cuban, chilean, etc). She freaked out and said "I'm white, damnit!" Then a few seconds later she was back to her giggly self. I dont see how that would be offensive.

Now they are easier to spot cause they are way too enthusiastic when they initially make eye contact with me. But usually the conversation doesnt even get far enough for me to display ASPD characteristics. Most of them just pick me out of the crowd and start making eyes at me.

But a couple of times women who I see while they are working initiate conversations with me each time I see them, beyond the friendliness level. They led me on for a few wks, ask for my number. Then exchange numbers. Leave 2 msgs for them to call. Then they dont call/return msgs. To me thats sick to lead a guy on just for an attention-fix, disregarding what it means for the man to overcome shyness. If you arent interested in someone, then dont act like you are. This just leads to a mistrust of women's intentions. And leads to turning myself off altogether.

In any other country, those signals say "come get me," but here if a woman is too enthusiastic it means she has an attention-seeking complex.

I am moving back to quebec.

Well, to be honest that doesnt sound like HPD to me.

The HPD person wants to 'catch' her prey, so to speak. It's not so much about leading you on and not following through, as it is about snagging you, getting you to focus on satisfying their needs, and then eventually moving to snag someone else to satisfy their need for new intimacy, novelty, new attention and the like. So I don't think the leading on and not returning calls and all of that is really revealing of an HPD ... the HPD person would try to reel you in, and make you a member of her "club", so to speak. They are typically not shy about making sex a quick element in a relationship, either.

KontrollerX wrote:I eventually succumbed to her game obviously as I'm here and did not know such a thing as HPD existed. I know now that I gave in merely because I was uninformed about HPD, she was so beautful and seemed so in love with me that I reasoned I'd be a fool to keep pushing her away, she seemed genuine due to her being after me for so long and though I noticed she seemed kind of depressed at times I figured she was just down and not suffering from real depression which she does suffer from and which HPD brings about for many HPD sufferers.

I mean, you have to give yourself a break. It is very hard to resist many HPDs. It's very nice to have someone chasing you, to have someone want you that much, when you are the person they are trying to reel in. It's very hard to resist, and you didn't even know what HPD was. So you were in a poor spot to resist. Now you know better, and you'll likely never get burned by another HPD person again. I know I won't let myself slip into a relationship with an HPD ever again!

novaseeker wrote:

KontrollerX wrote:I eventually succumbed to her game obviously as I'm here and did not know such a thing as HPD existed. I know now that I gave in merely because I was uninformed about HPD, she was so beautful and seemed so in love with me that I reasoned I'd be a fool to keep pushing her away, she seemed genuine due to her being after me for so long and though I noticed she seemed kind of depressed at times I figured she was just down and not suffering from real depression which she does suffer from and which HPD brings about for many HPD sufferers.

I mean, you have to give yourself a break. It is very hard to resist many HPDs. It's very nice to have someone chasing you, to have someone want you that much, when you are the person they are trying to reel in. It's very hard to resist, and you didn't even know what HPD was. So you were in a poor spot to resist. Now you know better, and you'll likely never get burned by another HPD person again. I know I won't let myself slip into a relationship with an HPD ever again!

Amen. We learned our lessons! I'll never be snowed again.

I will struggle with how much to trust a woman again and when to start being really nice to her (i.e. buy her nice things, surprise her with a nice weekend away somewhere, etc.) Did that and got burned.

What a shame that I have to MISTRUST people first, rather than TRUST them and give them the benefit of the doubt first.