Are HPD's sadistic?

Respect is good, but don't be an enabler.

Loli wrote: wrote: Respect is good, but don't be an enabler.

No one is enabling him, except those responding to him, that are bothered by his behavior and give him the negative attention he seeks. So just ignore him, if you can't support him. Sorry, but he does have my full support, because I now understand him, what he is going through and why he behaves the way he does. However, I ignore his trolling posts.

Orion:

So can you answer the below?

You say you had 3 HPD relationships. Did you ever ask yourself why? You say you are here to address HPD issues of your past HPD's, so it helps you fight depression etc etc? Why? You have been on here long time,. Why can't you heal?

They no longer make you feel the way you do, so stop blaming them. You feel the way you do, because of you. Why not work on your issues, so you don't attract nor remain attracted to them anymore. You say your upbringing wasn't so good. Do you think that might be part of the reason of why you ended up in three dysfunctional relationships with HPD's? Have you ever gone to therapy to fiqure out why or is the internet your only source?

Orion wrote: As human beings who have been hurt we have a right to express our dismay because to not do so is to start down the long road of denial, depression, and hopelessness

Well, you have been here for along time. Sooner or later you have to stop hurting. The only way you can do that, is focus on your own issues and why you still fell that way. So why do you still feel this why and need?

Anyway...give that some thought.

OK

I'm not orion.

No one is enabling him, except those responding to him, that are bothered by his behavior and rgive him the negative attention he seeks. So just ignore him, if you can't support him. Sorry, but he does have my full support, because I now understand him and why he behaves the way he does. However, I ignore his trolling posts.

Simple--you don't have to respond to him negatively.
Support also comes in a form of guiding/reflecting/teaching.
Despite anyone's past, if someone behaves badly, ignoring it means to let them go on without any repercussions that they should be aware of, therefore enabling it.

lodi..wrote: I'm not orion

I noticed that and edited my post, prior to your post above. Yep. I ignore Labor for the most part, but do give him support on positive things he is doing, like trying to find a job.

Lodi wrote:if someone behaves badly, ignoring it means to let them go on without any repercussions that they should be aware of, therefore enabling it.

I am not about to to train labor. Go ahead if you want. Not my thing.

It's not about training, only responding to someone being positive is training instead of communicating honestly.
If someone is being rude, do you just let them carry on, saying it's none of your business?
That should be the first cork you run into with an hpd, the mean ones at least.

Im here cause I m still in contact with the current HPD.
What once passionate has faded, now its a fascination whatever she will come up with next, plus theres this larger picture...you see, I dont believe disordered people are subhuman or aliens.
No, they are like me and I am like them, it's just a matter of intensity. When I tell Labor he should learn to control his emotional expressions it because I have to do it, everyday. I have a temper and at times i lose the light and even though i dont act on it i still need the same thing Labor needs: human interaction, ventilation, casting the bread onto the water so it will come back.
I think it's totally acceptable if a person with antisocial tendencies says why they behave that way, because way down in there s an angel and a devil arguing, just like inside me.

Lodi wrote:
If someone is being rude, do you just let them carry on, saying it's none of your business?
That should be the first cork you run into with an hpd, the mean ones at least.

Well, I learned to only respond or say something to him, when he does something positive.

Like how hard he is working at finding a job and that it is good that he left the abuse of his parents.

You go ahead and look after the negative part of his post and trolling behavior for attention. If you feel you want to do that. Again, go ahead. To each their own. To me, my opinion is, it is enabling to respond to his trolling post. the reason he does it is for desperate attention of any type.

So why do you think he trolls? Think about that. We are enabling right now! He is stitting back right now, and thinking about all the attention he has got, vs his real issues.

But again, we all have our opinions.

OK

Well,I learned to only respond or say something to him, when ihe does something positive.

So he trained you?

You go ahead and look after the negative part of his post and trolling behavior for attention. If you feel you want to do that. Again, go ahead. To each their own. To me, my opinion is, it is enabling. Why do you think he trolls? Think about that.

It doesn't bother me until he directs it at me, which then I respond honestly because ... helloooo... someone is being rude to me?
Why do you think he trolls? Attention only? Did you even bother to ask on behalf of his integrity.

But again, we all have our opinions.

Your opinions erode others' characters.

So he trained you?

No

Why do you think he trolls? Attention only?

Yes, for understandable reasons.

Enough time on this..have a good weekend. Try to get attention somewhere else. I am done.

OK

The only thing thats bad is when the dialogue here gets corrupted or shut down...there are things here to be learned, important things. If someone says something that is significant and then it gets attacked on impulse because somebody thinks its personally directed at them then that information gets lost.

The question Are HPD's sadistic isn't an accusation, its a potential source of information suggesting some other behavior is possible...ultimately that HPD's can find other ways to not be sadistic (assuming that they are).
But because Nons also have a capacity for sadism its a further study of how not to be.
Thats why Im here. Im a flawed human being, just like Labor and all the rest of you out there...