I thought this was supposed to be a support forum?

I've been dx with HPD and BPD.

I've been looking on the web for support groups, chat rooms, forums in which to post and hear about the experiences of others, however, I get on here and all it seems to be about is posting information about how terrible your loved one (whom you suspect to be HPD) is and how terribly they have behaved.

One of the posts even appeared to be a domestic between two people.

And still another was about a co-worker, with a listing of observations and asking for advice on whether this person might be HPD - well, I have a piece of advice for you - NONE OF YOUR F**KING BUSINESS!!

God, if you people want to bitch about HPD or have your domestic fights, then go somewhere else. This isn't the place for it.

Also, does anyone actually monitor this site or remove inappropriate information? If it actually functioned like a support forum then more people would probably be inclined to come back.

yes this site is monitored. We try to catch things as quickly as we can. Take care of inappropriate style posting, etc. But this site is a site for support to people in many ways...and a bit more then that. For some it's a place to come and talk w/ those dealing w/ what they are dealing w/.....to take support from that. Others come here and vent about a loved one or someone in their life....talk about how they are affected by that person and what that person is dealing w/....some vent their anger and frustration...some seek advice in how to better deal w/ and support that person...I mean there are countless angles when it comes to support and why you are seeking it....it's not always from the perspective of the person going through something.

Your post caught my attention. But I will say that I don't have a clue what HPD is. So I can't be of help to you in that aspect. I am only trying to address your concern w/ the site. Please, feel free to "PM" our site administrator "seanetal" (Sean) w/ your questions or concerns. Or PM any of us moderators. We'll do the best we can by you. But please also be aware that the moderators are simply people like you. We've been on the boards for awhile ...came to this site for our own personal reasons. We offerred to volunteer, or were invited to help out, w/ the boards. We watch out for inappropriate posts, try to keep the board free of spam, that sort of thing. We offer up resources if we can. But we are NOT professional counselors or anything like that. Our role as moderator is not say ...like what you would expect when you call up a crisis center hotline or make an appt. w/ a professional therapist. That is not the intent for moderating this board! We jump in w/ our own personal advice and stories just like anyone else posting to the board.

Well. Not sure if I helped but seek any of us out if you want to talk further.

What the ###$ do you care?

For the Sept. 21 2005 Guest:
BPD and HPD- that's an interesting combo. I had a close friend who had BPD.

I think your observation of this board is totally correct. If you have HPD, I don't think you will find much support here. It seems once and awhile those who have HPD come here, but don't stick around. You can see why. Or maybe, a lot of people read but don't post because they don't want to be shot down, told their case is hopeless etc.

It seems the BPD board is more supportive for those who have it.


I understand what Angel was saying about different reasons for the board, since I've had people close to me with NPD and AntisocialPD- so I understand the need to connect with others who share your grief just so you know you aren't alone.

Maybe it might be better if the boards were separated between those who suffer from a disorder and those who are dealing with someone else with a disorder. That way you wouldn't have to walk into a mine field unaware. It especially bothers me when it seems that there might be those who want to find out about a disorder to get back at someone or use that information in a malicious way.

Anyway, you had some good points, I hope you find what you need.

It would be nice if people WITH the disorders could help provide support and information for those who are frustrated and dealing with someone who has a disorder that they don't understand.

I hope the negative posts don't turn you away, ExtremeDays. I think the fact that there are people coming to the forums and posting negative comments about people they know/suspect to have these disorders just shows their ignorance about the disorder in the first place. Being more informed would help them to understand the behavior they are seeing - and WHY exactly a disorder may be the cause of it.

There are a LOT of people who come here with questions about people they know - for ALL types of disorders. The reason they are called disorders is precisely because they are accompanied by maladaptive behavior - much of which is confusing, frustrating and maybe even annoying for people unfamiliar with these problems. However, some come here seeking help and understanding and others just come to b*tch. But I think those people who are really interested and concerned about others stand to learn a lot from people who do have these disorders. The people who aren't here to be open-minded and learn are going to leave just the way they came - or perhaps they may accidentally learn a little something, too.

I guess we ought to consider the beauty of forums to be that that this is real democracy at work - pretty much anyone can come and say anything they want. It's a shame that some people come here and post for what I would call "the wrong reasons" but let's hope the wealth of support, information and free flow of ideas outweighs these other negative aspects.

it's been my experience that those with HPD don't really want help. I've suggested counselling, even offered to attend, and was met with a resounding "NO"!

*What rcd said*

Plus in my own experience talking to many victims of HPD's on this forum and others that the majority of HPD's are cowards.

Too afraid to share their problems with anyone even other HPD's.

Not all of course but still.

That alone explains why more HPD's are not posting here.

The other disorder boards have their share of disordered regs so I mean that must be it. The cowardice factor of HPD.

Someone might point to the posts Chron and I have made to show that this place is hostile to HPD's or even the older Mike_The_Man and BluePhoenix posts and HPD's wouldn't want to post as a result but thats not true either.

What is true is the one HPD who posted since we've arrived we tried to help and the other thing that is true is this place was completely dead before we arrived.

Bottom line is this board is a place of support in many ways like was already said. Its for victims of Histrionics and Histrionics themselves.

"I've been dx with HPD and BPD.

I've been looking on the web for support groups, chat rooms, forums in which to post and hear about the experiences of others, however, I get on here and all it seems to be about is posting information about how terrible your loved one (whom you suspect to be HPD) is and how terribly they have behaved.

One of the posts even appeared to be a domestic between two people."

LOL, yeah my life long best friend is pretty entertaining at times.

"And still another was about a co-worker, with a listing of observations and asking for advice on whether this person might be HPD - well, I have a piece of advice for you - NONE OF YOUR F**KING BUSINESS!!"

If my co-worker has a condition that could cause them to emotionally manipulate and harm me as a result I'd like to be able to know about it beforehand so I don't fall into their trap.

Some HPD's manipulate men/women out of their money via false friendships and others are just relationship addicts hopping from one to the next not caring what hearts they break in the process and some do both of these awful things so yeah it really is better to know what exactly you're dealing with if you suspect someone close to you of having a mental illness especially in the work environment.

"God, if you people want to bitch about HPD or have your domestic fights, then go somewhere else. This isn't the place for it.

Also, does anyone actually monitor this site or remove inappropriate information? If it actually functioned like a support forum then more people would probably be inclined to come back."

Again all the other boards are populated with their disordered's regs and this one wasn't even before the influx of new victim posters arrived. The reason for that I think is HPD cowardice.

And a lack of a desire to change, really.

My HPD ex knows he has HPD, he has been diagnosed with it. Yet he doesn't care to get therapy for it. He likes himself the way he is, apparently. He knows it causes problems and from time to time in an odd, lucid moment he will say that he wants to act differently, that he wishes he could act differently, but thaat thought is never persistent enough for him to really consider getting his butt into therapy and really working for change.

Many of them don't really want to change. It's a very deep-seated mental issue, I think.

Thanks for mentioning that novaseeker.

The lucid moment I mean.

The HPD I was involved with would go through those at times and seemed like a normal human being while she was.

During one of those moments she told off some guy for being a jerk using logic which for the most part she and HPD's in general have no use for.

Sadly though these moments just help them in their manipulation of people.

A person witnessing an HPD act normal like this for a time might think to themselves all of the HPD's other bad behaviour must of just been due to stress.

Maybe nothing serious is wrong with them after all.

We know now though that this is not the truth.

There are times when for a bit they seem to see things normally, and know they have problems, or as my hpd said, I know I've got demons. I've also noticed that when travelling, or alone and away from her normal environment, she would change towards normalcy...