Questions for HPDs from Nons (Could be Triggering)

by **whiteknight6** » Sun Jul 22, 2012 11:08 pm

Thanks again, she has had a history of becoming aggressive. As she has shared stories of past relationships. And yes she does do detective work to find out what I have been doing and honestly can say nothing of what I thought would concern her but did. I have been wished a happy future and that we should both be happy for each other-which in my mind is contradictory to the fact. yes have been her life line and sounding board and counsellor, but the mood swings make it difficult. The only positive was for her to say the relationship was over and thought in my mind was a good time to exit as it was beginning to become draining. More and more attention seeking behaviour. Many thanks for your answers

whiteknight6 wrote:Thanks again, she has had a history of becoming aggressive. As she has shared stories of past relationships. And yes she does do detective work to find out what I have been doing and honestly can say nothing of what I thought would concern her but did. I have been wished a happy future and that we should both be happy for each other-which in my mind is contradictory to the fact. yes have been her life line and sounding board and counsellor, but the mood swings make it difficult. The only positive was for her to say the relationship was over and thought in my mind was a good time to exit as it was beginning to become draining. More and more attention seeking behaviour. Many thanks for your answers

HPD's hate sharing the spotlight, hence; the new girlfriend. But only use if she is trying to get back in contact with you.

Glad to help

by **whiteknight6** » Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:53 pm

Virgo......... thanks for your response your strategy of although having being her life line their are other options open to her has so far worked although early doors. Having received texts re her current situation of her step mom being in hospital with weeks to live and that she is now having to look after her father, I was sympathetic and indicated that in times of trouble families rally together. This has so far headed her of at the pass. Early but was confident in not hurting her but did not open any door to meet. This was not met with rejection or any malice towards me of being heartless as what has happened in the past. Thanks and will keep you up dated.

by **fracas57** » Thu Jul 26, 2012 7:15 pm

Something else about the girl I'm seeing that has recently manifested...
One of the things that had always attracted me to her was that, like me, she didn't place importance in money. But suddenly, in the past few weeks, she has begun to exhibit signs of extreme greed (she's starting to look into her potential career directions). She's even made comments that choosing one career path - starting salary in the $80-90k range - is unacceptable (despite it being better suited for her), because another related path (for which she's not at all suited) has a starting salary around $140k.
She's rapidly becoming something totally unlike what she was 2 years ago when we met.
I don't know how much this relates to her personality disorder, but there must be some link...

by **whiteknight6** » Thu Jul 26, 2012 10:41 pm

My experience is a total career change, although money was not discussed it appeared to be no object to her. I never talked about it but could not understand how she spent within her means. Qualifications and positions seemed to give her some validation of worth. She would always bring up her degrees and she was over qualified for her position and how much something was worth that she had bought. Marriage and commitment was always an issue to her. But love them too much they pull away don't love them too much and receive the childish tantrums and irrational mood swings and blame. Plan and they get changed live for today and have no vision.

by **8tinch** » Fri Jul 27, 2012 5:39 am

masquerade wrote:This thread is a place where nons can ask HPDs questions for discussion. Respect is essential at all times from both sides. This thread is also intended to promote better understanding and tolerance for all. The Board retains an impartial stance on this thread and will not tolerate disrespect here. The topics here may be triggering for those who are sensitive, so should enter here with their own discretion.

edited at member's request for privacy reason

by **masquerade** » Fri Jul 27, 2012 5:23 pm

I'm not her and I'm not her psychotherapist, so I can only guess, and I may be way off the mark. It could be that now her defences are down, and she has no lies to hide behind, she is faced with the stark reality of her disorder. She could be processing it, and this could be a reactive depression. It's difficult to be more precise, and it's only a guess on my part. You can be there for her, but you need to maintain sensible boundaries, and encourage her to be autonomous.

by **helphelphelp** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 1:10 am

mod edit - graphic content

by **whiteknight6** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 3:59 pm

Been trawling through the forum, question maybe been answered before for HPD ?

Good sex life or constant attention which one would you choose ??
See what arises and try and elaborate from my experience which might have been fake who knows ??

by **Allelomimetic** » Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:28 pm

whiteknight6 wrote:Been trawling through the forum, question maybe been answered before for HPD ?

Good sex life or constant attention which one would you choose ??
See what arises and try and elaborate from my experience which might have been fake who knows ??

Constant attention. However, if I was with someone and they started to withdraw from wanting sex frequently, I would feel that they do not love me anymore, or that they do not find me attractive or even that they are cheating on me.

In all honesty, and nothing I am proud of, I would probably react to this by emasculating them by saying things such as "Well, you're rubbish in bed anyway", "Is it because you are gay?", "You obviously have erectile dysfunction" and so on.

Questions for HPDs from Nons (Could be Triggering)

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