HELP....I have fallen in love with a HPD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I started going to lunch quite frequently with a co-worker several months ago. We became friends and started discussing my married life. At the time my marriage was on the rocks and I felt a need to talk with someone. Shortly thereafter, this woman informs me that she is infatuated with me. Just what I wanted to hear. Was not getting any attention at home (like that matters now) and decided to have a discreet relationship. When she mentioned the infatuation that day in my office she asked, "what if feelings get involved"? Being the macho man that I am I told her, "Don't have to worry about that happening with me".

Well, guess what. Feelings did get involved and after spending a day at the motel with her I find out the next night from her that she is getting married in two months. Talk about being blown away.

She continues to lie about everything, even her present situation with her on/off again relationship with her boyfriend. She continues to tell me that she wants to spend time with me but she never does. She tells me so many lies, and I know they are lies.

She does not know that a person that she pretty much did the same thing to a couple of years ago is a friend of mine. Since yesterday, my friend and I have been comparing notes. It is funny (not really, just hurts) how she plays peoples emotions.

Of course she tells me that she loves me. Actually, she tells me everthing that I want to hear. I keep telling her actions speak louder than words. I thought it would be easy to end the relationship but I have fallen in love with this woman.

I told her yesterday that I thought she was a HPD. That went over REAL well. She has her masters in counseling and both of us work for a mental health agency. I see her almost every day during the week and it is difficult to dodge her. I sent her an email yesterday and informed her that I was sick of her lies and that it was over. Of course, according to her, it is my fault. She wants to continue to be friends but I am afraid that I will never be able to let her go if we continue to be friends. Actually, I feel like that was a set-up to keep me around.

My question is: Will she ever change? Does she even realize the hurt that she is causing?

You are another victm of the Hpd's game.

On this cool website there's a discussion about this subject you are exposing here.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread ... adid=55343

Take a look and see it if relates to you.

i find that you are in no position to complain about hurtful behaviour when you are deceiving your life partner in such a disgusting manner.

MisS_BLiSs wrote:i find that you are in no position to complain about hurtful behaviour when you are deceiving your life partner in such a disgusting manner.

Yeah, I have to agree with you.

I relate to your story as the on/off (non)fiance. She (the woman I was involved with) demonstrates all the character traits of HPD and is also in a counciling/social worker career. Polished if not shallow/artificial social skills, very sexual/confident. I feel she knows well what confusion and pain she creates yet she accepts none of the blame. It's always someone elses fault.

Sorry, I have seen this pattern play out MANY times with my HPD friend. She wants what she can't have, as soon as she has it, she doesn't want it anymore - and I am not exaggerating. I don't even think she has a clue what she is doing. She isn't aware of other people's feelings - just when she is totally infatuated with someone and when she is bored with them. She's really mucking up her own life in my opinion, not to mention her poor little child's and the poor guys she's married and left that actually still love her despite her behavior. I actually feel bad for her, because I don't think she understands herself or what is going on in her life at all.

I hope you got over it...I'd like to know....i get the "could we be good friends routine a lot..and they suck you back in

I think ive got histrionic tendancy's its kinda scary!!! But i got an appointment with the psychotherapists at ayrshire central hospital on wednesday to get assessed how long does it take to get a diagnosis? How many appointments usually?

Emmsy as long as you're completely honest with the doctor it should only take one appointment.

Also obviously bring up with him/her that you think you may have this.