HPD in Rap

I joined this forum about 6 months ago (after the second time I'd caught my HPD cheating. I googled her behaviours and it pointed straight to this (doubt I'm alone in that respect). Stupidly I thought I could change it all and again swallowed all the BS. I finally decided to end the madness a month ago. This forum has been invaluable in my recovery ... basically I have been reading about my own life for the past two years. I'm probably not 100% cured but logic has returned.

Anyway, after the last time, I was angry confused etc and sprawled my thoughts out on paper ... it came out basically what resembles a rap song. I'm not musical so I have no idea if it follows any rules and I dont care. I just found it in the back of a folder and reading it actually helps me to realise I am going OK and will never go back or weaken. Ironically, she was always asking me to write a song/poem for/about her. Well here it is - if it helps anyone else thats great too.

Thank you so much to all the posters here - I hope you know that this site is so valuable to us that have gone through this ordeal.

“The Toxic Angel”

She starts out as a damsel in distress you try hard to impress
She looks so good in a dress but you cant see the mess
Of her past and whats in her head if you did you’d dread the chaos ahead
She’s not Pollyanna this ain’t manna from heaven its gonna deaden
Your grip on reality and leave your heart leaden

She’s a toxic angel

She’s a child at time a little girl but something aint right
Coz at night she’s a porn queen somewhere you’ve never been
She’s so in control of all your senses you aint got no defenses
For this kind of passion it aint ever rationed
But theres more to this story than what you think is glory
Of the awesome sex you’re just the next ex
But you don’t even know you just wanna blow
She’s already on the go planting the seeds elsewhere to meet those insatiable needs
In time your gonna realize you swallowed the lies from those puppy eyes

She’s a toxic angel

She’s so lonely but she’s never alone she gotta pound your bone
There’s three more waiting on the phone and the act goes on and on
But she keeps getting older and just being bolder
Aint gonna cut it gotta look fantastic she gotta add more plastic
To do the seduction so there aint no reduction
In the supply no stopping her intention to get your attention

She’s a toxic angel

Keep it dirty keep it exciting if you cant do that make up some fighting
Make up some drama this aint karma
Its mood fluctuation deliberate self destruction
Self induced panic its all so manic

She’s a toxic angel

Nothing ever changes her needs are contagious
She just gotta keep searching for something she cant find
Coz she cant face the real her in her mind
She’s so caught up in this rut, gotta keep being a slut
Keep pulling the wool over the eyes of the fools

She’s a toxic angel

not bad, but check this out, I think eminem had experience with HPD too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix9THS9QhA4

Well-said. “Deliberate self destruction” and “self-induced panic” are ways of putting it I’d never even thought of.