CptSaveAho wrote:You know, I never heard her criticize the looks of a man even once. In fact she would claim that some of the most revolting looking men were handsome(men she had slept with also

),
For some reason, this first piece of your post reminded me of other versions of criticism they use...
Non-Criticism/Reverse Criticismor,
Positive Criticism Tactics.
You see, by saying an ugly thing is good looking, it is its own version of criticism. It sends out its message that looks don't matter...that black is white and white is black (ugly is beautiful, beautiful is ugly...it is their reverse tactics).
Or, IF you were good looking, by her saying looks didn't matter or that ugly men (whom did not look as good as you) were SO good looking...this in a form is a disguised way of criticizing you.
Another variation of it would be if an emotionally abusive man had a girl who spent hours on her hair...and let's say he didn't say anything to her on her new hairstyle. But then, later in the day, he makes a comment that
negates her hairstyle/effort she put into it. It is a small tactic, but it oneups her. So he could say something like...
"Susan is really a good fit for my friend, it seems. She is non materialistic. She doesn't worry about cosmetics and the latest fashionable hairstyles...she is just a good old solid woman with an excellent personality".
Just an example...but the woman who put in all that effort to changing her hairstyle just might not like this (I've seen/heard women hurt by such sayings of their men whom they were trying to make themselves more attractive towards). Also notice how he was criticizing "Susan" and not his wife/girl.
Indirect criticism tactics.
The other variation is what a counselor said was how they treat humans like dogs. They use positive criticism to train you. So, if you do something they like, the cluster b says,
"Thank you so much for doing "X". I wanted to thank you for controlling your anger (when she usually lost hers, or when you had the right to be angry)".It doesn't matter...lets say she wants you to do ANYTHING. Let's say she wants you to go out with her to all her parties, or to keep her plans for the holidays (remember just examples). When you do what she wants, she will praise you (as if you were a dog that she was giving a treat to).
She will say,
"Thank you so much for spending the holiday with my family. That meant so much to me".If you don't do what they want...NO TREAT FOR THEIR PUPPY.
If you do what they want...YOU GET A TREAT (their positive criticism).
This becomes a process, and in due time conditions you (in a way where they/their needs/their wishes are more important than your needs). Again, it is the art of one-upmanship. They continue to oneup you until they are on a pedestal.
You can't tell them, "Quit criticizing me". Why? Because they will say, "I'm using constructive criticism". Constructive alright...as they are constructing their obedient little puppies.
Their is a normal way healthy people do it, and yet a very manipulative way the cluster b does it. Again, they do the same thing in different ways. They do the right things and use them for the wrong ways.
Emotionally abusive men use positive/reverse criticism on women all the time too.
When they use the positive types of criticism to manipulate people...it really sucks because it is just like they are training (attempting to train) a dog.
It's like trying to control your actions in the future (what opinions/decisions you will have/do) by praising you for things today-hoping you'll keep it up tomorrow and forever. Then, they will piggy back more "tricks to teach the dog" on you...teaching you trick after trick.
"Good boy", The cluster b says.
"Here is your little treat".