I need help

I met my ex gf back in June 2010, We seem to really hit it off. We dated for a total of 7 months, In the first 2 months she broke up with me 2 times. However we always got back together.
we were only into dating for a short time and she kept asking where is this going

During our time together, She would often complain that I did not give her enough compliments. She also complained that I did not tell her she was pretty enough. She once said "You know you are so lucky to be with someone as beautiful as me"
She would sometimes get angry over some of the dumbest things, For example I was on vacation and there was a ice storm back home that I did not know about. She told me in a nasty tone "I guess you just assumed I made it to work ok" well I said that I did not know about the weather her response was "well your connected with your phone and you should have known"

She would often be critical of me by saying i was "to neat" "to organized" "to practical" the list goes on and on.
On one occasion I referred to her as my GF and she did not say anything, But the next time I saw her she said to me "You know that GF term lets not use that" then it was "My daughter keeps asking if your my BF I tell her no your just a friend"

Then on another occasion its "I wanted to tell you that I love you"
Things started getting worse around the Holiday's I gave her a heart shaped necklace and she kept trying to find some meaning in it. I told her that it meant that I cared for her. I was afraid to say anything else because I could not even call her my GF.

Then Feb came with valentines day, She called and told me that we should not exchange cards and made me cancel the flowers I ordered for her.
I still felt that I loved her even though I was going through this. At the end of Feb she called me and said "I dont think we should see each other anymore and that someone was showing her attention" Needless to say I felt completely devastated

I tried to maintain my composure in the days that followed but I missed her so much that I did everything wrong I called and begged and I pleaded everything. Thats when the real torture began.

She would either by phone or text say something that made me believe that I had a chance to reconcile with her or that she still cared about me. Only for her to follow that up with a harsh rejection email the very next morning.
She would say things like "I am taking this very seriously and I am gonna sleep on it" and in less then 12 hours would cut me of at the knees .This happened over and over at least 5 times.
She would keep telling me that she had to follow God's plan

On one occasion she called me out of the blue and said " I am having doubts about what I am doing and i called (the new guy) and told him I dont know if I want to see him anymore" and "I dont know if you would even go out with me again"
well the following day I sent a few text messages to her she would respond back then later that night I sent a few more, Then she called me up and said "you know all these text messages am I gonna have to block you"

I was floored it was less then 24 hours and she had done a complete 180 I did not know what to think
this kinda thing continued for months then she said we could have no more contact.
So I did not contact her at all she lasted for 6 days then emailed me then started texting me and even now she still texts me.
And she wants to know how I am doing, How is the dating going those kinds of things.

This has been very difficult for me I feel totally destroyed emotionally, at first I did not eat hardly anything I could not sleep.
I have recovered some what but I still feel like I miss her so much and cant explain why.

I cant cut her completely out of my life because she lives so close and she attends the same church as i do
I have looked up so much stuff online about Histrionic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder and so much of it seems to fit
I really need a unbiased opinion
Thanks so much for reading this I hope someone has some insight to help me

The only advice I can give is no contact and run. She seems way worst than my HP ex. This woman will continue to manipulate you so long you let her. Right now you really need to focus on yourself and recover. You won't be able to recover if you keep in contact. If you can't completely avoid her then just say a casual hello and walk off.

Mine did the same stuff. You couldnt be her boyfriend because she was dating/screwing others according to her emotional needs at the time(emotional tampon, daddy figure, sugar daddy, bad boy, good boy). They have little sense of self and require the validation on knowing that they have you as a back up and you still love them no matter what they do(Im starting to realize that my exHPD who is now sort of a platonic "friend" sees me that way). She does not care about you at all. By the way, these actions alone do not mean HPD necessarily because I know "nons(can anyone who does this REALLY be a non?)" who do this and wrap it up in "girl-speak".

I would like to say thank you for the responses

The biggest issue I have right now is I still have love in my heart for her. She has made it clear she does not love me and we are not getting back together. Yet I still keep getting emails and text messages from her. Although I know I should ignore the contact I cant stop myself from responding.

I know this is hurting me emotionally but I cant stop, She has supposedly moved on to her next guy, I am sure that at some point that too will end up horribly for him. Her ex husband lived with it for 13 years and one day just walked out.
So I know there is a problem, I have no idea if its Histrionic behavior or not. It appears to fit some of the traits .

All I know is I have never been through something this difficult before ever. I feel emotionally destroyed and helpless.
I miss her even after all that she put me through its like a addiction or something.

I dont know how this will turn out, I have to keep fighting the urge to email her telling her how I feel because part of me does not want to give her the satisfaction or another shot at feeding her ego again.
Which is why she probably stays in contact with me, And asks questions like "how r you" and "how is the dating going"

I try my best to be vague and not provide to much info because I know its not out of actual concern for me, Its primarily for her she wants to hear how miserable I am and that the dating is not going well. I guess that would provide her with some kind of ego fix or something.

Thank God for these boards as it has brought me some comfort being able to say things and hear from others.

She hates you and wants you to suffer, that much is clear. We've all been where you are now, you will get through this. I was in the "not BF/GF" primary supplier scenario that you were in. Here is an interesting recap of that unique situation. Most of the nons here were married or actual BF's of these HPD's so they don't quite understand the limbo mindfvck that we are in: histrionic-personality/topic61548.html

Thanks CptsaveAho, I think your are spot on
As a matter of fact she has been texting me and I have been doing the wrong thing and responding back.
But this evening she texted and started talking about us, Now granted she dumped me for someone else.

But I texted back explaining how I had cared for her so much that she should have given me the second chance after our break up.
She went on to say that it was too late even before the other guy. and then I said "you should have taken the chance though, We really would have had a wonderful life together" ( I know I am stupid for even saying such things) But its like she has me under her spell.
Well she went off on me accusing me of blaming her. Well yeah hello, Of course its her fault she is the one that decided to leave me for another guy. Its almost crazy she does it then tries to make me feel like its my fault.

then she goes on and says Goodbye well I said I guess that means you dont want to chat with me anymore.
She said Why should I.
It makes me laugh to myself the last time she said no contact she lasted 6 days, Then was telling me I was her special friend.

Honestly this break up happened back in Feb but she has been throwing crumbs at me for months and I kept going after them .
well I am wise to her game now and I refuse to play. I wont let her abuse me emotionally anymore.

I believe you she must be a evil person to do the things that she has done to me.
So I just sit back and watch the coming train wreck with the new guy, And trust me its coming that much I know.

She's not evil.

Just unaware.

Angry and scared.

Twistedmister wrote:She's not evil.

Just unaware.

Angry and scared.

When she brags about what she does with her slut friends and shows them the pitiful texts from their victims, is that evil?

I'm glad you are finally seeing why no contact is important. Right now you are fresh meat. She doesn't have to do much to manipulate you. You are already her marionette who can dance to her tune. I suggest you read most of the threads on this forum especially the past ones. They really helped my recovery. I'm still healing, but I know my ex gf game now so she won't be able to manipulate me. You may also want to take a hard look at yourself and see why you got involve with her in the first place and why you stayed once she showed her uglier side.

It took me a few weeks to say this but she's not evil nor is your HP (unless she's diagnosed and is willing manipulating others). Just allow yourself to grieve and to be angry. You will recover just fine.

Beaten_Down wrote:Well she went off on me accusing me of blaming her. Well yeah hello, Of course its her fault she is the one that decided to leave me for another guy. Its almost crazy she does it then tries to make me feel like its my fault.

Mine recently told me "I love you, why do you keep pushing me away?"

This is after she admitted everything and we discussed HPD yadda yadda lol. She is as bad as ANY of the HPD stories you will read here. They really are not very bright and jump back into their default manipulation mode when backed into a corner.