histronic

skyway wrote:

Why are you waiting for her to do it? If you want a more normal life then sever the tie yourself. That is quite the burden you place..

Sorry didnt answer you. I want a normal life with her, i get despondent and wish that this crap could stop and that we could move on.

Why do you want us to break up more than succeed?

You are in to your soaps to much. Take it easy

I've read this and all I have to say is...

Histronic. Most definitely.

Definition of histronic-

Extreme attention seeking, draws you to them by acting overly charming or seductive, uses looks or clothes to try to make you pay attention to them, thinks relationships are closer than they really are, enjoy starting drama. Oftentimes has a "selective memory".

My sister is histronic- or at least I think she is. Perhaps borderline, though. I'll ask her therapist about it.

To the woman who was his girlfriend of 2.4 years- leave him if he continues to lie. Some people can't be changed, and you have to accept that no matter how hard it is.

<3,

Fae

Another thing about histronics- they tend not to believe their diagnosis.

(My mother is a research pychologist, I asked her about histronics and have done some research on it before)

fae*rie wrote:Another thing about histronics- they tend not to believe their diagnosis.

(My mother is a research pychologist, I asked her about histronics and have done some research on it before)

But I do and that's why I'm getting better. I can control my own behaviour now and I can understand how serious my condition is.

I'm reading this now for the first time. Starz, dear, I better understand now where you're coming from.

My friend - do you remember? the sometimes funny, sometimes boring HPD squatter of my flat - is married too and now is happily (I hope) back to his wife. He said her that he was staying at a friend house, but didn't specify the friend was female and his ex lover.

I didn't wrote this in my post because his private life is not too much my business and as I'm not currently involved with him, nor I want to be, I was far more worried from his recreational substances and possibly unauthorized parties than his lying to his wife.

He also invented in the far past (shortly before we had a relationship) a similar health problem in order to gain attention.

Now he's gone, but he phones me twice a day. No, I'm not his confidant, in fact he scarcely speaks of his wife or his other relationships.

This man puts me in an ethically arguable position. I'm not his lover (even if he says that we are, even if we don't have sex, because he thinks of me as such), but he's trashing other committments to spend time with me. His wife is a naive, sweet, kind and generous woman that loves and cherishes him far more than I ever did or do now. I actively encourage him to stay with her - as he often inferres he could come back to another lover he has never forgotten, or even to me (I'd maybe like to be again with him as long he's faithful, which means something "I'd like to take a swim, as long as I don't get wet").

We have had a very illuminating row lastly. He writes semi-autobiographical articles for a local newspaper (he's a sort of local celebrity) and for the last Women's Day he has written an article titled "ten women I celebrate today". In the preface he says he has chosen not to write about women he has loved, but about those he admires. He has chosen a mix of famous woman and anonymous ones. The portraits are very funny and well written, but when I arrived at mine, I wanted to puke: "my real mother has my same age". Me, his mother??? (the other non-famous women are all names I know: some of his former lovers).

So I am fixed now: he's not my friend, he's my son. Despite all my encouragement to him to stand on his feets. Despite all my being critical about the habits of him that I don't approve, all my refusing to be "enabling". I protested, and his reply was that he already had a row with his wife for not having included her, so he couldn't be bothered: "Janine, grow up and don't make a fuss about a single word".

He keeps calling, but I keep answering. I don't like the position he puts me in, but his deep fear of both committment and rejection, his need of unconditional acceptation is exactly like mine, so he strikes a chord in me. We are similar, only different in behavior (he stays in relationships but is remarkably unfaithful, I run away as soon as the relationship becomes close). So we both find our interest and comfort in this weird alliance, which will probably last - as long as we don't get together again.

Starz, HPD's are lost souls. They have their perks: my friend helped me in ways that nobody else could do, especially not "normal" people and could reach for me when I was too scared to let anyone approach (I have had my share of misery too). But there's a confused crowd in their hearts and their sentimental education is nearly to zero. The only way IMHO to have a satisfying interaction with them is to look at them without the least rosy glasses, and don't count on them to be consistant in any way, sincerity or faithfulness or committment. Having said that, they can be fantastic, admirable human beings. Heroes for a day, but unreliable in the long run.

I'm not in the position to give advice of course, who am I for this, and after all I don't like to give advice in any field. I was just surprised to see how many similarities there are in these stories. I hope you're well, and I wish all the best things to you (and to your partner).

Janine