BPD/NPD/HPD-The Differences

Johnny beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I've had people tell me I'm not attractive, people have told me I'm sexy, some people say beautiful, and some say just ok. Some think I have it all while others think I'm a loser ect. One fish two fish red fish blue fish. In my line of work I've ran across all types of personalities. It takes all kinds of different people to make a world and while Pd people could maybe be subtypes you can no more figure or judge them as a group than you could the African American race or Spanish Americans or American mafia ect. There may be cultural traits present just as we may have text book traits in common but we are all still very very different. Lots of things involved there. Culture, heritage, socioeconomic status, gender, race, education, environment, intelligence, location, level of functioning other disorders and mental health issues, medical issues all this stuff works together to make us who we are. I member reading philosophy and religion and astrology in my youth spending hours on trying to figure out why I didn't belong only to find out a few months ago all my questions about me answered in a text boon labelled "you are effing nuts". I've come a long way since then. I've been hurt by people too, I've been betrayed, lied to, tricked ect. Just gotta keep going and learn to be a better person from these things. Anyways when it comes to sex people with low self esteem are typically better cause they work harder to please the other. I don't know if it matters which pd except perhaps hpd just gets bored with partners if they don't change it up in the sheets once in awhile. I'm not sure that there is a single person in this world couldn't be diagnosed with one thing or another. Something like 85% of US people grew up in dysfunctional families or so. I've heard. I don't know I just wanna change the crappy things about me keep the good ones and move on with my life. I. guess I'm in self actualization stage. Bout time. The others, the ones that have hurt you all are not here yet and may never be like my own mother. I really hope everyone on here finds the answers they seek. Hope I didn't sound random and added something the the conversation. Interesting but extremely difficult question! Jean.

Just to set the record strait:

I am damn proud and well known for my bedroom skills. Thank you HPD.

(Now whether or not I give a $#%^ whether you experience my full range of abilities is a whole 'nother subject)

- Thisislabor.

What about avoidants, schizoids, and antisocials?

I think you need a poll.

fiveintime wrote:What about avoidants, schizoids, and antisocials?

I think you need a poll.

It would be interesting to hear what your take is on Anti-socials. The conventional approach would be to research it and to study the traits of ASPD and then synchronize them with various behavior patterns, but with ASPD I find this to be extremely difficult.

For one, if ASPD was: "A lack of concern for the rights of others"...then we may as well just say that politicians are ASPD (or that most of them are.

Or consider the acts of war...were those who dropped the atomic bomb ASPD? They were posing in pictures and smiling afterward as if it wasn't no thing. The Japanese were already weak and would have surrendered without it being dropped; furthermore, the bomb killed more innocent civilians who weren't fighting in the war than the actual Japanese military.

I do not say these things out of a direct concern for politicians or the war, but to make a point that there are many problems with the conventional beliefs of ASPD, IMHO.

For example, they say, "About 90% of the inmate population is ASPD"...this is entirely untrue. The inmates have prison gangs, for instance, and there is more loyalty and love among them than in actual families sometimes. They look out for one another...and many of them are good to their wife's before, during, and after incarceration. The cluster b, on the other hand, is a nightmare to those she/he is in relationships with.

Many so called cluster b ASPD's are in reverse: Meaning, they have much love among themselves whilst they have no love for outsiders. So, the HPD, for example, will abuse those whom they get close to whilst they put on an act for those who are far away. The ASPD often loves those who are close to them but abuse those who are far away.

Take the ASPD forum...yes there is some crazy stuff said there, but let one who is honest take into account that many of the emotions that are expressed on that forum are expressed by many people, but they simply never actually come out and say those things. They watch horror movies that are filled with murder scenes, and then they judge one who talks about murder...

Another interesting fact about the ASPD forum is that the people who object to that forum are usually the same people who hang out there, read all the post there, and who drop in to criticize from time to time. If they truly had a problem with that forum, then why do they "follow" it so much?

One of the points I'm trying to make is that many if not all of the things spoken of on the ASPD forum happen in a different context in real life, yet they are overlooked (so there is no "label"). A classic example is again WAR...they often rape women in the places they conquer, they commit war crimes and torture the enemy to the point where brutal murders were committed.

Then, after and if the war is won, they come back and are treated as heroes. No one calls them on what they did. Now, this is again but a mere example of how ASPD behavior is demonstrated by many people who are never labeled ASPD. Instead, they are labeled as the good guys. There are too many examples and instances that could be elaborated upon that put to many chinks upon what they say about ASPD.

Ironically, even to observe the ASPD forum as a comparison to other forums here...is it true that the ASPD forum gets along better than most other forums? I have noticed one NPD poster continues to drop in over there and criticize people (it seems), but besides that troll there doesn't seem to be a lot of drama or hate over there (amongst the members...but I must admit I haven't looked around a lot over there).

Anyway, to introduce ASPD into this equation...it would be nice to get a more accurate definition of them that is far beyond the Wiki or the conventional Psyche literature.

This is politically incorrect to bring up: But if ASPD is a murderer, for example...then is a woman who gets three abortions (just because she wanted to have an abortion and didn't "feel like" having a baby) an ASPD because she had no regard for the child's life?

If she is a murderer in disguise (under the boundaries of the law she gets away with it), then is the law that legalized abortion (which according to this argument would be a vehicle for murdering innocent children) also full of ASPD who are passing these laws and making this type of murder possible?

Is a drug addict ASPD, as they so often say?

Then, are the drug companies also ASPD, because they legalize all these addictive drugs and in fact lie about how addictive the drugs are and the side effects of the drugs (consider all the lawsuits drug companies have been found guilty on...).

The arguments can get much deeper and can continue, but for now I would sincerely ask: What is ASPD?

Holly crap. Wall-o-text. And what was the original question? I've forgotten now. No matter...

mr.johnnymac wrote:A lack of concern for the rights of others

This is part of it, but this alone certainly doesn't make a person antisocial.

mr.johnnymac wrote:were those who dropped the atomic bomb ASPD?

Doubtfully. Mob mentality and callous disregard in war is a common amongst emotionally "healthy" people.

mr.johnnymac wrote:they say, "About 90% of the inmate population is ASPD"...this is entirely untrue.

Yes - entirely. Most studies say antisocials are in the minority in prison, just like on the outside. Though, the percentage is higher than on the outside.

mr.johnnymac wrote:This is politically incorrect to bring up: But if ASPD is a murderer...

AsPD doesn't make a murderer, and murderers are quite often not antisocial. And, screw political correctness. Some things need saying.

mr.johnnymac wrote:is a woman who gets three abortions (just because she wanted to have an abortion and didn't "feel like" having a baby) an ASPD because she had no regard for the child's life?

Nope, she's not. She most likely doesn't view the child as a human being. People can be pretty callous with life that they don't see as similar to themselves. AsPD people just seem to draw that circle of "who's like themselves" a tad bit smaller.

mr.johnnymac wrote:Take the ASPD forum...yes there is some crazy stuff said there, but let one who is honest take into account that many of the emotions that are expressed on that forum are expressed by many people, but they simply never actually come out and say those things. They watch horror movies that are filled with murder scenes, and then they judge one who talks about murder.

If emotions are expressed in the AsPD forum, it's an error. We don't really get our feelings hurt, and don't really give a whole lot of consideration to other people's feelings. We're rather robust that way, but sometimes probably come off as very rude and offensive. We're not though. We're smiling inside.

mr.johnnymac wrote:Is a drug addict ASPD, as they so often say?

Nope. Just an addict. Lots of people have drug problems, though impulsivity and boredom do make AsPD people do some pretty risky things sometimes.

mr.johnnymac wrote:What is ASPD?

Antisocial (summary): low-functioning or absent conscience, low emotional affect, amoral, dominant, and easily bored.

Personality Disorder (also summary): impulsive and intrusive interpersonal relationship problems.

thisislabor wrote:I am damn proud and well known for my bedroom skills. Thank you HPD.

Does HPD result in bedroom skills? The DSM must've forgotten that one.

Did you notice a common theme of all them? Since you had the experience of dating all of them, it would be interesting if you could remember some of what they all had in common. Like, when it was all said and done, were they all really that much different? Which one did you like being with the least...if you had to pick?

Was one better for a LTR than the others?
mr.johnnymac

Johnny - I didn't date any of these women. I have only had long term friendships with other women.

A common theme? Yeah, I guess it was that the friendship usually ended very abruptly. With most friendships if there is a disagreement or falling out, you can come to a resolution and you continue being friends. All 4 of these women, I was glad to walk away from with no looking back; just some WTF?!?! It was like one min they are your bff and then the next min they are the wicked witch.

I did think they were all very different. The NPD I can be civil to now. I don't go out of my way to be her friend, but if she says Hi then I'll say Hi back.

The BPD's were the most exhausting, but they really were only destructive to themselves. So, out of all of them, they might have been my "favorites". They were also the most fun.

The HPD gave me anxiety! She made me feel paranoid, and all kinds of other creepy feelings. This was when she was actually around me though. From far away she was fine. But it was like I constantly HAD to have my guard up, but I had no idea why. If that makes sense...and I was constantly having to fix something for her, or do something for her. It wasn't a relaxing feeling.

Ah... okay. I took the time to read the thread I was posting on now. Differences in relationships with different PDs, right? Well, here are my heavily biased stereotypes. Disclaimer: I've only actually known some of these IRL...

AvPD: Good luck even getting a relationship. Low self-worth would make it very difficult to move beyond acquaintance phase. If you do get one, probably more of a "just the two of you" type person. Likely very devoted though.

SPD: Impersonal sex and possibly distant... though, very low maintenance. Don't expect them to hang out with friends with you. Emotionally stable, and sometimes secretly very kinky.

BPD: Good sex, better fights, and great makeup sex. Like dating a feral cat. Better to just punch yourself and masturbate. Less drama that way.

HPD: Very high maintenance. If you like somebody that knows how to present themselves, or you like to socialise, this is the person... just so long as they don't bang the host(ess) in the closet.

NPD: Hugely self-confident to the point of obnoxiousness. The individual should be low maintenance, but their ego requires constant feeding and watering. You're more likely to be "supply" than an actual person.

AsPD: Sex, drugs, and rock and roll, baby. You'll have a lot of fun, but don't expect reliability, compassion, honesty, or any of that other touch-feely stuff.

thisislabor wrote:Just to set the record strait:

I am damn proud and well known for my bedroom skills. Thank you HPD.

(Now whether or not I give a $#%^ whether you experience my full range of abilities is a whole 'nother subject)

- Thisislabor.

Lol - That's so funny; I completely concur!

goodbyenormajean wrote: It takes all kinds of different people to make a world and while Pd people could maybe be subtypes you can no more figure or judge them as a group than you could the African American race or Spanish Americans or American mafia ect. There may be cultural traits present just as we may have text book traits in common but we are all still very very different. Lots of things involved there. Culture, heritage, socioeconomic status, gender, race, education, environment, intelligence, location, level of functioning other disorders and mental health issues, medical issues all this stuff works together to make us who we are. I member reading philosophy and religion and astrology in my youth spending hours on trying to figure out why I didn't belong only to find out a few months ago all my questions about me answered in a text boon labelled "you are effing nuts".

This is beautifully phrased - well said.

stars, I definitely agree with your observations, it's uncanny how close they are to my experiences. I'd say there were few simliarities in my relationships with these people, possibly because my role in the relationships was different - common law wife to the BPD, friend to the HPD, sis-in-law to the NPD. the one thing I know the BPD and the NPD had in common for certain was being raised in an extremely abusive family. They were bound to both have problems, but I think they developed the different personality disorders because their role in the family was different. The NPD (the oldest) became sort of an over-protective over-acheiver, depending on his accomplishments (mainly his violent street fight victories) to make him stand out, and ultimately falling in love with his own accomplishments and nobody else. it seems he turned his anger about the abuse 'outward' and was cruel to others, while the BPD turned his anger at the abuse 'inward' and was mostly cruel to himself. The BPD had a middle child role, didn't really seem to know his place or believe he was worthwhile to the family - plus I suspect there was some sexual abuse towards him (from people outside the family), being a pretty almost 'girl-like' little boy from a family that never watched him, beat him repeatedly, and didn't try to protect him from outside harm; made him a pretty attractive target for grooming by the neighborhood pedophiles...though he would never mention it.

the HPD on the other hand, I don't have first hand knowledge of her past and have no idea if what she told me was truth or a pack of lies; but from what I saw during interactions with her mom - her mom is a complete pushover that caters to the HPD's every whim. her dad and stepdad were completely absent from the picture, her dad having left when she was 2 and her stepdad having left when she was in her teens.