How do you know if a HPD person tells the truth?

And does a HPD person her or himself knows that he tells the truth or he tells not the truth?
Why a HPD person always need to manipulate people? And what can you do to let the person tells the truth of to stop manipulate? What for words you have to choose?

I'm no expert run, but I suspect.. you can't tell if they are telling the truth at any given point and time, because they're good actors and manipulators. unless you were there, experiencing the experience/hearing the conversation in question, then you can never be sure you've got the whole, correct story. I think, at some level they do know they are lying/manipulating (and at times make very calculated moves to achieve their goals), at another level it's just second nature to do so, and they don't even think about what they're doing - it just comes as a knee-jerk, natural reaction. As a natural reaction.. my HPD friend would often lie about things that were clearly a lie, that she had no reason to lie about. like if she had a sprite, and you saw her drink a sprite, and she later insisted she drank a mellow yellow instead - almost like she lied 'just for the pleasure of lying and getting away with it' at times - because really nobody cares what soda she drank.

sometimes the HPD may have even convinced themselves that 'their truth' is right.. because the lying/manipulation is such a deep-seated protection mechanism, a cover up to hide their true selves.

you can't stop a person from manipulating others if they are using it as a tool to protect themselves, as the HPD does. basically if they aren't able to manipulate you anymore, they move on to someone they can manipulate, and the cycle continues. the only thing that stops the cycle is the HPD person themselves seeking help and making an effort to change.

You don't. You'll never meet a better liar than me. I have no tells, because I never make eye contact, always laugh when talking and always change subject, regardless of whether it's the truth or a lie.

jameshpd wrote:You don't. You'll never meet a better liar than me. I have no tells, because I never make eye contact, always laugh when talking and always change subject, regardless of whether it's the truth or a lie.

Run's title reminded me of an old joke one could adopt to some of the PDs.

How do you know when an HPD/NPD/(add any PD you like here it's just a joke) is lying? Their mouth is moving.

I think the HPD's I know are pathological. They lie about the DUMBEST things, that you can easily know is not the truth. For example, one girl lied about where she worked to me. She checked in on Foursquare at her job and would say "At work" - Then her roommate even would say he met his current gf through her at her job, but to other people she would lie and say she worked somewhere else. Just dumb $#%^! Or she would update her status to say "went running today. Feel awesome!" and then talk to someone else a few days later and say she isn't allowed to work out cause of some insurance claim and how bad her back is.
Another girl would say she was picked to be on the cover of a magazine as a model. Then the magazine issue would come out, and she'd say "OMG, I cannot believe they picked someone else at the last min!!!!" - or just not even acknowledge it. Someone would ask "So, what magazine are you on again?" and she'd just respond like "uh? What are you talking about? I never said I was gonna be on a magazine" but you could easily go back and see her post all over Facebook the exact opposite.
I don't understand that type of lying. It's just a whole other level of crazy.

Run..good name! lol

HPD's have too much to hide. So why tell the truth?

but how do they keep up with the lies? If they have different supplies, and are manipulating who knows how many people all at once, who can keep up with what lies are told to who?
It just seems so exhausting to remember the lies, remembering who to be mad at for some made up reason, and who is on the "to use next" list. Seems like a full time job.

I would say from my own experience with an HPD partner: they do not lie about everything. MIne, for example, is scrupulously honest about her age (37) when posting on dating sites, where almost everyone else is lying about their age.

I would change the joke answer from "Their lips are moving" to "Their lips are moving and they're talking about their love life." Because when it comes to partners, sex, romance, in short, to their private life past and present, they will constantly lie. You literally cannot believe anything until you've found some corroborating information.

Do they know they're lying? Yes; the furtiveness, the efforts to cover their tracks, the reluctance to get drunk around their "steady" partner (and only around him), all these things point to their awareness that they are lying, and their fear of being caught out.

They are excellent, just excellent when it comes to the thespian/acting part of lying, precisely because they feel so little moral compunction about it. And they can even cry when discussing something that never happened. But they are hopeless when it comes to keeping their stories straight; they just don't remember what they said.

Anyone dating someone you suspect has HPD: Keep a diary, and write down the person's accounts of where he/she was on a certain day. Then ask casually about it a week or two later. The person will either tell you something different or freak out about being asked at all.

In any case, all partners of people with HPD should keep a diary anyway. Otherwise you WILL begin to doubt your own sanity. The lies will really mess up your own sense of reality, I assure you.

What I found is that they are so very convincing that you actually doubt yourself(gaslighting?) In the end when I found out what I needed and I would ask her a question that I knew the answer to about a betrayal she had lied about.I swear after a few minutes of listening to her I would actually for a brief moment start to believe her and doubt my own eyes....Hell I actually would feel for an instance that I had done something wrong until I actually came to terms with what I was dealing with.They are amazing at saving their own ass......for a while.....Then it eventually becomes very clear to the Non but at a price for sure.If you have never experienced this type of phenomenon nobody could actually understand what we are talking about here.JMHO

As an HPD, I have to agree with James: YOU DON'T. These days I really strive to just be conscious of what I say before I say it. That way, I'M the one catching me in a lie!! Most of us really are very talented at lying and many are good at keeping stories straight. I know I am. Many of us have higher-than-most IQs so that may help out.