Emotional Abusive Relationships--The Power Of Gaslighting

A big topic that comes up in emotionally abusive relationships is Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most destructive forms of emotional abuse in the skill set of the emotionally abuser. It not only can get you to doubt reality, but also your identity. As most of you know, the "status quo" of gaslighting is where a person denies any wrong doing on their part or when they try to make up wrong doing on your part (that wasn't true).

They deny reality. They shift blame (blame shifting). They use this tool (gaslighting) to make you doubt your own sanity sometimes.

The C.I.A. and many goverment organizations are actually taught how to use gaslighting to break down the resistance of their captives.

Psychologist are also trained of all the ins and outs of gaslighting, and many are using this power in the wrong ways.

There are several excellent resources to expand your knowledge of this dreadful weapon of emotional abuse:

1) The basic powerful foundation-- http://www.amazon.com/dp/0767924452?tag=kamurj0b

2) Where psychology mis uses it-- http://www.amazon.com/Gaslighting-Inter ... 546&sr=1-2

There are so many forms and variations to gaslighting. Even innocent questions are being used to gaslight people in order to distort your perception of reality.

I'm sorry but why is this a topic you felt the need to post?

If you were speaking out against it, or trying to help someone avoid these types of situations- I could see where this would be very helpful, but going by your comment:

There are several excellent resources to expand your knowledge of this dreadful weapon of emotional abuse

It looks as if you could be trying show people HOW to do this!
I sincerely hope that's NOT the case

I'd be interested to know 'WHY' you though to post this up here?
Are you trying to educate people so as to avoid these siutuations or are you trying to do something more sinister here???

Hmmm.... Alice Wonders....

I think he's warning against us. I venture to guess he's not teaching the technique. Alice, are you becoming paranoid like me?

Never the less, it's an interesting topic and not one I have much research on. I suppose I do it to people, but never knew the name. Interesting.

Lol@Sans,

Alice is applying gaslighting. lols.

Ahhh Sh*t... did I just gaslight here

I didn't mean too!

No honestly, I thought it a very paculiar subject to post in an HPD forum without any distinct clarificationa s to 'watch out this is wha's happeing in your relationships' or 'this is how they attack us' or something to that effect...

As for warning against us, popy cock (at the post, not you Sans ) this has appeared to become an outright forum folly between a select few NON's and some of us HPD's over the past few days & it needs to STOP!

Although it can be very benefitial to work those 'emotional regualtion muscles' through this stuff, many negitive things are comming from this and it's become all too childish on here. There has been no constructive talk of healing or positive production over the past few days, very little good has come from here. Nothing more than drama and BS- althought it is a 'fun way to pass the time' it's not helping anyone

I dunno? It just seems to me as if some people are having too much fun pushing the buttons of others on here lately, and I don't know why? It's not hard to make a crazy person loose it, there's no skill in that at all, so why even bother prevoking them? You've accomplished nothing by it really

I dunno???

I'm gonna try to stay off the drama topics and stick to healing threads from now on...

Awe come on Alice!!!

Stay with the drama topics and play with me and Mistaben.
It's much more fun when there are more of us HPD's on to play and haveing the male AND female perspective at the same time can only provide a wealth of information and help to the non's.

What do ya say? Gonna stay and play with the drama topics?

Just like everything, this board evolves and is ever changing. Before I came I saw so much more bitterness here. (Not saying I had anything to do with the change, just an observation.) The board has come a long way in a short amount of time in terms of communication between nons and hpds. But I'm also not naive enough to forget I've only been around for 6 months and it very well may have done this 360 before. Actually, I'm sure it has over the years. People ebb and flow.

If you don't like the change, be the change you want to see. Stick around and help out- but remember your level-headedness. I have all the faith in you that you can continue to open all the posts and come out constructive.

Actually I try to AVOID the drama topics as much as possible. You'll see there are many topics here that I won't even read or post on because I don't see the validity of them at all.

Yes, granted there are moments when the 'brat' in me comes out and I can cause sh*t just as well as the next person but that's not why I'm here. I'm here to learn, grow and change for the better.

Not saying I won't flip out from time to time, or I won't find something that sparks my devious interest, but I try to keep it a minimum...

Sorry sh*t desterbers
(said loving and playfully)

there's been a few things I've seen on here recently, some attacks on me again, that I may respond to in a most 'devious' mannor- but only when I'm done looking into the things that interest me first- k?

I do try to contain myself, but I do love a good fight
Ohh... what to do? WHAT TO DO?????

what a gas this is.... !

No seriously now, "Gaslighting" is indeed a real technique, and HP boys and girls, whether you knew what it meant before or not, it is a technique often used for emotional torture of other. It pushes the persons buttons on the receiving end to have "doubts", initially subtle, then serious, then in extreme cases disabling about what is real versus what is imaginary. They in turn doubt their own sanity and and can eventually become emotional putty in their torturers hand. I am quite happy to be on the receiving end, but only if my next torturer is Miss St Pierre et Miquelon! Good luck to her for the Miss France title on this Saturday...gooooo Lea ... !!

PS
I own the book by Victor Santoro, which gives a good but rather immature overview of the technique.

Musician,

Example.

My ex:

She would tell me something. Then later say, what are you talking about? I never said that, it didn't happen.

Or telling me about an event or an occurance on how one of her friends or family members behaved. If I disagreed with thier behavior or if she mirrored the bad behavior and I used it as an example: She would say, "never happened, they would never behave that way".

If people keep doing that, you start to question yourself as to what: was actually said, what you actually heard, and what is actually real and not. It makes you imagination play tricks on you, and question your own thoughts. In severe cases, your own sanity.

Just a couple of examples....I think sometimes the person doing the gaslighting, actualy believes, what they are denying, some of the time.