Hi Watchman:
Thats a very tender thread you wrote there. I do know what you mean, and on most days feel much of what you feel. Occasionally my feelings become ambivalent however, and the thought of her and everything that really happened tears at my patience and my heart. Its like "how can you have intentionally done that?". When such questions meet no logical reply either from her or ones minds own voice, then maintaining those warm, fuzzy feelings can become a little tough. I am not clear on how far out you are (did i miss that?) from your relationship. For me it was a 14 month relationship that shall have ended 5 years ago in January. Its still not easy some days; particularly as knowing her as i do, i know she may never pop up again, but i also know that she may pop up when i least expect it. She said it in her own words, "i can't make clean cuts", and i really don't know how i shall feel when i am alone and face to face with her again. I would like to be friends, i am not sure its possible.
Goodluck,
Musician