How to go NC with ex-HPD if you have a child together?

connfused and hurt 2 wrote:Well...

Well Mistebans already gave you good advice and you didn't listen.

So keep go having sex with the woman that caused you so much trama, caused you to have PTSD and then keep blaming your problems on her. That makes sense.

You are not going to change and either is she. You might as well live in that warp for the rest of your life, with her. You are both the same, but have differnent issues. Seem like a good match.

All the best...to you and your girlfriend you love so much!! I am sure she thinks of you, when she is not with you.

Good reason to love her.

ow... lol, well I was gonna tell him that I feel as though they deserve each other but....

@Butchannon:
these forums are a wealth of knowledge and the people here really are caring. do you want our advice or not?

Alice,

We are not both "non" s.

I am trying to get that through to him. No Non in his right mind would put up with this, what ever she is.

I do this to wake him up, for his own good.

Don't worry though. I am done. Lost cause

connfused and hurt 2 wrote:Well...

You are not going to change and either is she. You might as well live in that warp for the rest of your life, with her. You are both the same, but have differnent issues. Seems like a good match.

Yes, I know that codependents (nice guys) and HPDs make a good match.

Well..there you go.

No more issues. Life is good! You found your perfect match.

Ok..last post to your thread. I am sure it will all work out for you.

Take care, all the best C&H

I wonder if he is the HPD one? just by his responses it seems to me that he is?

I wonder if he is doing a projection with his emotions onto her?

mistaben wrote:I wonder if he is the HPD one? just by his responses it seems to me that he is?

I wonder if he is doing a projection with his emotions onto her?

Why do you think I could be an HPD? I find it hard to diagnose by some responses of me. So, someone who wants to reconcile with cheating partner is by definition HPD? Have you heard about codependency? I think I may be closer to that.

What emotions do you find me to project on her?

mistaben wrote:
As a non-HPDer do you have any empathy or sympathy for the trust you violated? - just out of curiosity, you don't have to answer, I already know the answer.

Mistaben, what exactly did you want to tell me with that? I think that roles are reversed in this case? Who violated whose trust?

Butchannon wrote:

mistaben wrote:
As a non-HPDer do you have any empathy or sympathy for the trust you violated? - just out of curiosity, you don't have to answer, I already know the answer.

Mistaben, what exactly did you want to tell me with that? I think that roles are reversed in this case? Who violated whose trust?

OK- seriously STOP! This is benefitting NO ONE and it's become nothing more than a nusence ramblling between posters- ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!

Have you heard the saying, "You can't please all the people all of the time?" what about, "Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree?"

Oogway for Kung fu Panda says: "Your mind is like this water, my friend. When it gets agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear..."
That's a pretty smart turtle ya know!
Check out this youtube clip, it's got great message I think all could benefit from
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_6g4s9DkGc&NR=1

AliceWonders wrote:

Butchannon wrote:

mistaben wrote:
As a non-HPDer do you have any empathy or sympathy for the trust you violated? - just out of curiosity, you don't have to answer, I already know the answer.

Mistaben, what exactly did you want to tell me with that? I think that roles are reversed in this case? Who violated whose trust?

OK- seriously STOP! This is benefitting NO ONE and it's become nothing more than a nusence ramblling between posters- ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!

Have you heard the saying, "You can't please all the people all of the time?" what about, "Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree?"

Oogway for Kung fu Panda says: "Your mind is like this water, my friend. When it gets agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear..."
That's a pretty smart turtle ya know!
Check out this youtube clip, it's got great message I think all could benefit from
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_6g4s9DkGc&NR=1

@alice - it seemed like we had?

@butchannon It was the way you tried to apologize without directly apologizing to C&H2. Giving ground without actually saying saying I'm sorry. I'm also wondering if your experiencing some of the emotional aftershocks of (at least believing) that someone has cheated on you. It seems to me to appear to be coming through in your writing.

butchannon if you and her DO actually get back together your gonna have a very long trail ahead of you. If your going to have a relationship with her then you need to base the rules of the relationship off of what you two mutually decide together. Your not dating the rest of the world so you can't use the rest of the worlds standards. You didn't see her "rule" just like she apparently didn't see your rule about not cheating. however, if she was using THAT as a rule, she may not have been cheating. I know I have thrown a SEVERE hissy fit about trust and integrity when it LOOKED like I was at fault but I wasn't.

If you do get back together with her you guys need to see a couples counseler. also, even if you don't get back together may want to find a place to talk about your event and sort some of things out in your head.... Which it appears to me at least that you are.

Mistaben- sent you a PM, check your in box- k?