Had my first therapy session today!

Life_Song wrote:

okherewego212 wrote:Sorry Sans...

My apology...I thought he bailed on you. You are right and I was wrong. I missed a post of his and my error!

As you were..

and Merry x-mas to you both.

OKHEREWEGO, I forgot to tell you that you did a good job on disarming the HPD anger. This helps them heal and builds their self esteem (as their self esteem matures they no longer make issues over petty things). Please keep working with her. I think after wisdom rejected her as a client she got angry and said she never met it (ns was created), and wisdom also handled the abandonment issues well.

She made a big deal out of what wasn't a big deal (him saying he wasn't her counselor) and then said he made a big deal about what wasn't' a big deal (she was only joking). Instead of allow her to make this into a fight, you guys disarmed the HPD rage.

You guys are doing a good job (no more arguing but healing).

wisdom wrote:Sans,

Been thinking about your last session with your therapist in between all my holiday hustle and bustle.

Wanted to let you know that several professionals dealing with BPD/HPD actually recommend twice weekly therapy, concurrently with two separate therapists. Each gives you full license to bitch up a storm about how things are going with the other. Then quarterly or so they get together and review things. The concept is"just expect that a person with BPD is going to have a huge falling out with their therapist along the way, its part of the process." So knowing that, and knowing that you are pissed off at your therapist, I'd say you are making major progress! Don't stop!!!!

In your last session something major was set off. That's what it takes to push a disorder back. No pain, no gain so to speak. What's important is that you really look at exactly what you were upset with. "Splatter" all over that guy what you were feeling. Use the "splatter" to recover fragments of yourself.

The prior week you were in love with him. Thought his wife was somehow an angel from above, someone you could never "match". Then you had a session where he's saying "we are making major progress!!!" and you are saying "I don't like at all what he was saying". Someone slap me, I'm very confused!

Now that you have had some time to settle look around at the last session "reaction" - get in a "bunny suit" (no not a playboy outfit with ears lol - a radiation protection suit) grab your Geiger counter and revisit the ground zero nuclear explosion site in your mind. Run that Geiger counter over all the wreckage and note where the needle goes way up! What set that all off? What made you so very upset? What was he DOING TO YOU? What crawled under your skin. Was any of that major reaction something you needed to "get out"? Any of that oddly similar to some way you were treated as a child? Some way you really didn't appreciate!

I heard the reaction but NONE of the details - your ruminations, feelings, details on what set you off? What lit the fuse? Why the bang? Have you blocked it?

If I were your second concurrent shrink I'd say "No Sans you need to hang in, press further. For God sakes get so you can rage directly at him if that's what you feel inside." I agree with him, this is exactly what we want. This is the stuff you are paying the big bucks for.

[Of course if he was inviting you to sleep with him in reality, or he went 100% psychotic on you (and it wasn't a joke) then we would be shopping for a new therapist.]

If you were just however "boiling mad" at him that is real juice here!

There was a SciFi movie called Alien that carried the tag line: "In space no one can hear you scream.". That's the sensation I got from your prior post. You were screaming, yet since you were in "outer space" and no one was around, "no one can hear you scream".

So, I invite you, in fact encourage you, to scream real loud! Only scream in your journal, on here if you can, and if you can possibly muster the courage scream right back DIRECTLY at that damn therapist!!!! Let him have it Sans, no holes barred. Buddy, this one's for you! Whammo!

This is the exact stuff that will very shortly bring real relief!

Best of luck, and be sure to also take some total time off for just some fun this holiday!

Life_Song wrote:

LifeSong wrote:

Ok, seriously, pretend LifeSong.. Stop spammin' up my thread. WhoTF cares?

What's this? Now there are TWO LifeSongs? I saw 'my' name and got confused. Read the post and couldn't remember even writing it. It took a second to realize I DIDN'T write it, and that there is another "Life_Song" here now.
This is gonna get confusing.

Wow, this is really weird because Thursday I got a PM from you about "names" (where you discuss this topic), and a whole day later (Friday by your post), after you already talked about this with me, you are now all of the sudden acting surprised of what my name is?
I really hope that I don't get confused with you...Most boards have variations of the same name, hun.

throwdown wrote:lifesong you seem a bit territorial. I notice that u believe u are sort of 'senior' here and that u think u know a lot of n stuff? Well, a bigger place is (narcisstic abuse recovery runboard) and we are a real place. Come over to our place and see if you can take it over. See if u are the 'owner' of the name lifesong .

You to chucky, come over to my place and leave the post of how you feel these pd's are. bring your save the pd philosophy over to my place. we have thousands of members and i think you'll get the boot within a week of solid posting.

you say 25,000 posts proves your in the right? come over to my place chucky. you won't last a week mr. admin .

you murdered this place and it will be so dead sans will get but hurt cause her arguing and supply will cease. sorry sans, blame chucky the master of pd's!

http://bnarcissisticabuserecovery.runboard.com/ (click on general discussion and sign up).

Come over to my place you grand master of narcissism lifesong! let's see how much of a leader you are in my place.

just pm me your user handle and i'll introduce you and chucky to the crowd.

come over to my place...you to sans but you won't make it too long .

wisdom, you too. see if admin lets you post like you do here. see if they let you post your disclaimer threads and stuff. come over to my place.

throwdown wrote:lifesong you seem a bit territorial. I notice that u believe u are sort of 'senior' here and that u think u know a lot of n stuff? Well, a bigger place is (narcisstic abuse recovery runboard) and we are a real place. Come over to our place and see if you can take it over... .
You to chucky, come over to my place and leave the post of how you feel these pd's are. bring your save the pd philosophy over to my place. we have thousands of members and i think you'll get the boot within a week of solid posting.
you say 25,000 posts proves your in the right? come over to my place chucky. you won't last a week mr. admin .
you murdered this place and it will be so dead sans will get but hurt cause her arguing and supply will cease. sorry sans, blame chucky the master of pd's!
http://bnarcissisticabuserecovery.runboard.com/ (click on general discussion and sign up).