Greeting ex-HPD on her birthday- High road or stupidity?

Thanks for your reply friends,

Sofrance, it may not be the need of having her in my life but it may be her blame shifting and guilt trips that is messing my mind i guess. I really hope i will not give up this time.

you guys are really a great support.

God bless.

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Thanks again sofrance,

You really opened my eyes. I am definately good enough to find somone more stable and sincere. Only God knows how many of normal and adorable women i ignored for my ex. love.

I dont know she has HPD or not. Most of the people here may not even know what is this exactly but what i read here over and over again, She fits perfectly to that criteria.

I do caught last week lying to me and getting extremely nervous or sweaty when i arrived at her door step without prior information but i stopped one step short of looking into that opportunity to had the solid prove and walked away without having the courage to look further and confirm (though it was very obvious). so, technically i never really caugth her red handed cheating. She definately lied to me several times and got away. She appologised (just plain- no emotion ..."ok ok sorry" thing).

SO basically i always gave her benefit of doubt ( may be intentionally as i never wanted to loose her).

Anyway, HPD or not, cheating or not, my gut feelings were true or not, i would just move on becouse despite of my crazy love for her, this relationship only gave me pain and lots of materialistci gain for her.

Her favourite dialogue was always " if you love me then you should take care of me by giving me what i love to have without mentioning your selfish logic of Give and take)

Triptohell:
Your HPD doesn't like your "selfish logic of give and take"?
I had to laugh at that!
Mine used to say the exact same thing: "If you love me, you will do what I want without all this give and take business."
Amazing how similar these HPD's are!!
And how similar we suckers are too, once they have us properly screwed up with their blameshifting and gaslighting.
I mean, imagine taking that kind of crap from anyone!

Absolutely right compton.

But we are lucky that we have this safe heaven of ours now. I am talking about this forum. Its helping us to help each other and letting us hold our remaining little self respect and dignity we able to rescue from them.

people have already given you good advice. mine is the same as other people's - dont bother

my ex had her birthday a few months ago.

She wished me happy birthday on mine when we where talking but then I went NC due to a host of reasons.

Dont give an inch they will take a mile. Ignore her, sounds tough and it is but its better than trying to "get along" which will be on her terms beleive me............

Hi friends,

Just to update on above. I took all you guys advice and didnt send her any flower, greetings, text or call. I had a busy day at work and spend the evening with friends.

Though she didnot call or bothered to ask (probably with some other fanclub gifts and greeting she didnot even noticed that mine is missing) I surprisingly feeling that i have my control back now. I felt releived and free.

Thanks for all those who adviced me not to bother and get along with my own life leaving her to other of her fanclub members to take her $#%^.

Thanks to this forum and you guys for helping me to stand on my feet again. I really hope that i will stick to the NC for long enough to leave everything in the past and will move on with my life with dignity.

Cheers !