What lies did your HPD tell others after break-up?

It is known that HPDs told lies about you/your relationship after break-up, so they don't become bad girls in the eyes of others.

I broke up with my HPD because of her numerous sexual affairs (about fifty in only 2 months period, the cheating lasted for at least 6 months), her sending her nude pictures to other guys, lies about everything and manipulations.

She said to her parents that she only went to drinks with all these boys and that it wasn't cheating at all. She probably told them I was abusive because her mother told me that things weren't alright when we were together. She tells me now that she told them all but I just don't believe her because nobody talks to me when I visit my daughter at their place. I just want for truth to come out.

It is so sad that they want to look like good girls with no regards of consequnces to others.

So, what lies did your HPD tell others about you/your relationship after your break-up?

My wife cheated a lot, but it was only with a handful of people who she "fell in love with" and were her soulmate. She focused all of her attention on the one until things went sour, then she found another.

She lied about everything (especially concerning her affairs), denied they were happening, denied what went on. Everytime I caught her, she would say, I just ended it. She would swear to God, swear on her life, swear on her children's lives that nothing was going on.

She also made me out to be a monster to her friends (so that she would be justified in doing these things) and then be nice to my face. She continually reinforced to everyone that she was a good person and a good mother (both lies).

She badmouths her friends, boss, family behind their backs, then is as nice as she can be to their face. In short, she is incredibly fake.

She has taken on a mentoring role with several teenagers (girls she works with, family, neighbors). They love her because she acts just like them. She dispenses horrible advice to them about true love, following your heart, and that type of stuff.

She has rewritten history to say that "I never loved you" and "I only married you so I wouldnt be a burden on my family" -- all things to make her feel less guilty.

She is the worst type of person, because she is nice to your face and rips you apart behind your back.

LIES...you better believe they lie. Pathologically. and without remorse. All in a self-serving effort to avoid guilt and retain the good girl image.

Things started out as a friendship, then went to Hell. Mine accused me of stalking her. Called my wife to tell her I needed psychiatric help as I was having romantic fantasies about her. Told my employer I was threatening her/stalking her and caused me to lose a job I held for 16yrs. Made accusations of stalking and sexual harassment against my professional license, causing me to spend big bucks to defend myself and my license. Took out 2 Personal Protection Orders against me, and convinced her employer to defend her when I challenged them in court. Not sure what she told her then boyfriend, now husband, about me. He is without a doubt a Narcissist, and has called and threatened me. Glad I'm not him.

There seems to be a common theme with the HPDs (or possible HPDs) taking out restraining orders. Mine told me she had to have one put on her ex-husband because he was abusive, controlling, and possessive. Now, I have no idea if any of that was true at all, but it is interesting that they feel the need to have them issued. I suppose it's likely just for their own attention needs to convince themselves that they are still desired?

Bewildered -
That could be the reason for all the restraining orders (my ex took out one on one of her former flings too).
But I think that HPD's really are more likely to be stalked/surveilled and yes, even threatened.

You are dealing with women who lie pathologically to the men they are with -- yet at the same time do all they can to whip up jealousy in those men; women who slander men after break-up; women who use children to get back at exes, etc, etc. They also target attached men, then threaten to contact the man's wife or companion when it all goes south. Man says, "You'd better not, or I'll..." And bam! Restraining order.

In short, HPD behavior can make a stalker out of anyone. (Which does NOT excuse stalking behavior.)

In my case: a waiflike HPD ex sending constant guilt-giving, reproachful emails about how her life has ended since I left. How she is home every night, pining away, etc. Boo hoo. All the while she has been merrily dating other men as always! To put a stop to this lunacy - and to see the look on her face - I actually stood in front of her house to try and catch her coming home with a guy. Stalking behavior, plain and simple. I came to my senses, thank God, and went home. But never in my life had any woman induced me to behave like that!!

Read through this forum - you will read about so many men pushed to their limit. So don't let anything she does make you cross that line. An HPD is not worth becoming a stalker over.

That could be the reason for all the restraining orders (my ex took out one on one of her former flings too).
But I think that HPD's really are more likely to be stalked/surveilled and yes, even threatened.

I do agree that they are more likely to be stalked due to their destructive behavior towards men and the resulted anger unleashed at them, but due to their compulsive lying I wouldn't be wholly surprised if they oftentimes fabricate and/or exaggerate the extent of their necessity of obtaining a restraining order. It certainly could be an attention-ploy (i.e, "Look at me! He STILL wants me!") in some instances.

You are dealing with women who lie pathologically to the men they are with -- yet at the same time do all they can to whip up jealousy in those men; women who slander men after break-up; women who use children to get back at exes, etc, etc. They also target attached men, then threaten to contact the man's wife or companion when it all goes south. Man says, "You'd better not, or I'll..." And bam! Restraining order.

In short, HPD behavior can make a stalker out of anyone. (Which does NOT excuse stalking behavior.)

In my case: a waiflike HPD ex sending constant guilt-giving, reproachful emails about how her life has ended since I left. How she is home every night, pining away, etc. Boo hoo. All the while she has been merrily dating other men as always! To put a stop to this lunacy - and to see the look on her face - I actually stood in front of her house to try and catch her coming home with a guy. Stalking behavior, plain and simple. I came to my senses, thank God, and went home. But never in my life had any woman induced me to behave like that!!

Read through this forum - you will read about so many men pushed to their limit. So don't let anything she does make you cross that line. An HPD is not worth becoming a stalker over.

I do see your position in how things could unravel so easily to the point of some people resorting to such tactics. I do not doubt other men have been pushed to their limits; I went through so much hell that it still sometimes comes back to haunt me in stray thoughts. And no, I would not dare cross that line. If someone doesn't want you, then there's really no point in convincing them otherwise. My theory on that is: I want to be someone's first and only choice, not a backup plan and certainly not with someone who doesn't willingly feel the same way as I do. In short, the best revenge is living well without them.

I look back on my behavior after the departure of the HPD in my life and wonder, "Who was that person? Not me!" The anger I felt once I realized I had been manipulated was something I never felt before, and hopefully won't again. I allowed myself to operate at the pre-adolescent emotional level she does. NEVER AGAIN

What better way to win and play the victim. Just make up a bunch of lies and use what you can to paint your victim in a bad light.

Appears the stalking card, is the best way all around, for them. Go figure and no surprise.

They don't like to be confronted or critized. It is a big part of the disorder. So why would we expect anything less. Makes sense. Just be thankful, we recognize it and move on. No changing a person like that and now they will soon be on to thier next victim. Not our problem anymore.

Thank God!

Ok

I think with HPDs with regards to temporary restraining orders, bad attention is better than no attention. Of course they'd prefer positive attention, but they can't stand being ignored or deemed irrelevant. My ex would tell me about the need to have a TRO placed on her ex-husband because he was (supposedly) abusive, controlling, possessive, and even put a GPS device on her car to track her. Who knows what to believe or what was embellished to aid her side of the story. She could have easily been seeing other men on the side and that may have been why he used such a draconian tactic as putting a GPS device on her car. It certainly doesn't excuse or justify him doing it, if that was indeed the case, but it could explain how he may have been pushed over the edge by a potential cheater and went overboard.

Another guy my ex told me about while I was courting her was coming on too strong, according to her. His side, according to a friend was the exact opposite that SHE initiated physical intimacy and then later backed off. He had sent her flowers and a gift to her workplace and that freaked her out because she claimed she didn't tell him where she worked, but that he must have found her address online somewhere (she had just met him, too, and usually when you first meet someone you ask general questions about themselves, such as, "What do you do? Where do you work?" so I wouldn't be too surprised if she had told him and not remembered or failed to be honest) and that it brought back memories of her husband and the restraining order she had on him. She even said to me regarding him, "There's other girls out there. Why does he want ME so much?" I think she secretly enjoys the attention, good or bad. It just makes her feel continually desired.

Anyways, sorry if I've digressed from the crux of the topic.

The restraining orders are mostly to stop the Husband from finding out about the affairs. My Ex-HPD wife threatened to file one against me because I showed up to her Church unannounced and found that she was meeting a new guy from work at the Church that same day. She got irrate that I would show up without telling her. They don't like to be found out. So my belief is the restraining order provides them with security to have affairs and so the ex does not tell everybody the TRUTH about how horrible the HPD is!