Another question about HPD

Is it typical for an HPD to be (or could this just be a selfish person infatuated with another person):


Lazy - I mean only do things that they want to do. Forget about doing things that need to be done like cleaning the house, mowing the yard, paying bills, etc. Constantly have time to go out with friends or talk on the phone, but never time to do anything constructive (if they do, it usually involves inviting a friend to help)

Reactive - never plan for tomorrow. Only deal with what is here today and obsess about what is going on, even if it is totally meaningless (example: "my phone broke, I am sooooooo sad, I can't live without my phone")

Heartless - "Yes I am cheating on you and I am not going to stop seeing that man", says they are sorry but no actions to back it up

Fantasy romantics - "this man and I have a real connection, we have a foundation, we care for each other deeply, we are soulmates, we've given our hearts to each other just like that movie The Notebook" "I have to be in love to be married"

Pathological liars - look you right in the eye, swear to God and on her children that she didnt do it, when she did

Hypochondriac - "my head hurts", "my left eye has blurry vision", (went to the neurologist, he found nothing), "I'm dizzy"

Have a million friends - large facebook friends list, everyone is their best friend, but when one of her friends or family does something she doesnt like, she cuts them out and replaces them with another

All HPD traits based on the criteria.

She sounds like an "infantile HPD". ,,,,,,,,,100 %

What does the infantile category mean?

A very childish version of HPD......

Yep. That sounds about right.

Our last neighbors were 40. She is 33. Instead of bonding with the parents, she became best friends with the 16 year old daughter. She has several friends who are teenagers. Probably because they have the same maturity level.

Yep, my ex is infantile HPD too. The broken phone thing is uncanny: I got an email from my ex yesterday to that effect.

Note that this does not mean cutesy baby talk. But infantile regardless. Note that this kind of HPD is different from the vamping, sluttish, wearing a halter-top to a formal dinner occasion kind of sexpot HPD that we read so much about. The infantile HPD uses sex too, but not in quite as up-front a way. And the infantile HPD will be a lot less inclined to admit the shenanigans she gets up to with other men.

Mine: Late thirties, refers to herself constantly as a girl, little girl, "complains" that others constantly judge her to be 5 or 10 years younger, is or pretends to be completely helpless (sobbing on the phone over a cockroach in her bathroom), also has a high school girlfriend that she goes to the movies with, etc.

In her professional life, of course, she is all business, very good at what she does, even traveling to dangerous areas unaccompanied.
But bring her into contact with a man she's interested in, and wham! The infantile HPD comes out.

Well, this spurred me to look up the subtypes.
I think mine is either infantile or appeasing. By reading the technical data, it almost seems that these people are capable of having a relationship as long as the partner can put up with the dependency issues. But mine developed a whole lot more than just dependency issues.

Let's face it. Most people will put up with that or drama........but the lies and infidelity become deal breakers.

After reading it, I was almost feeling bad. That my soon to be exwife will run off and marry this guy and be happy.

But then I woke up. Wishful thinking maybe, probably not though.

My HPD/NPD found the perfect schmuck..........

He cooks, does the laundry, works, keeps the yard etc.

All she has to do is visit friends/boyfriends, and do her hobbies......

She is 60 some........looks 40, has never had a job, and cannot cook.

She has had 200 boyfriends.........

And she's married to some poor schmuck............

So glad it isn't me.

Yeah, I wound up doing that in an effort to save my marriage.
Wore me out though. All the while she went and had fun, spent money.

I don't think she'll find anyone quite accommodating as I was. I made good money, put up with her spending, pulled my weight and hers in the home. All for the noble cause of giving my boys a stable home and genuine love for her.

Infidelity put an end to that.
I've been around people who tell tall tales, but this woman was a pathological liar. Amazing. And what a distorted view of reality.
It's bittersweet. Sometimes I wish I'd never met her, but then again, I've got two wonderful kids from it.

Knowing she has major issues is some consolation. First, nothing I would ever do could've changed the outcome. Second, this sleazeball that she is seeing is calling me and threatening me. He will get his, as will she, once the HPD boredom sets in.