I love her, but I want out.

by **Lures-her-back** » Thu Jun 17, 2010 5:54 am

Yeah. I get that. It is hard to accept the idea of sacrificing my pride over this. I feel humiliated. Will the distance be helpful? She doesn't have a car, and I am certain no one in her life will bring her here, because she has turned them against me a long time ago by shifting blame. Before she left, I called her on her bahaviors. I heard somewhere this pushes them away nicely, but I made the mistake of informing her of no contact, instead of just dropping it without an explination. I explained to her mother that no contact might work, because I had yet to research hpd, and I did not know how it works. Showing her kindness has always brought her back, so I thought I would try the opposite approach. I don't think her mother knows she has been diagnosed hpd. I know her mother attends a church that doesn't believe in mental illness, so I am afraid she delivered the message with the same hope I had. My next questions are these. Will living far away help? Will she stay away if I figured her out?

Asphyx
You really think that's the best way to get an HPD to leave you alone? Send her the occasional text message saying you still care? I'm curious about this. I've gone NC, completely NC, and now she's bombarding me with mails and texts, and I'm afraid I'll open the door one day and find her there.
What kind of text is enough to keep her away? "I miss you"? "Thinking of you"? I can't bring myself to say "Please come back" because she may well take me up on it. And then I'd HAVE to open the door.

by **asphyx** » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:04 am

Lures-her-back wrote:Will living far away help? Will she stay away if I figured her out?

As you said she has no car so it should for a while at least. HPDs are crafty little creatures so I wouldn't be too sure that alone would stop her from trying to get your attention in some way.

I doubt figuring her out (I'm assuming you mean telling her you know she has HPD?) will keep her away either.

Acting in love and, I almost forgot to mention, extremely boring (as they need the drama and excitement) to her should deter her for a while.

compton wrote:Asphyx
You really think that's the best way to get an HPD to leave you alone? Send her the occasional text message saying you still care? I'm curious about this. I've gone NC, completely NC, and now she's bombarding me with mails and texts, and I'm afraid I'll open the door one day and find her there.
What kind of text is enough to keep her away? "I miss you"? "Thinking of you"? I can't bring myself to say "Please come back" because she may well take me up on it. And then I'd HAVE to open the door.

Yeah, anything indicating that you are still #1 on her mind, are still in love with her and still want her desperately should keep her away.

by **Lures-her-back** » Thu Jun 17, 2010 7:10 am

One of the common themes I find in this forum, is that we never really heal, because they just do not allow it. I think they are fully aware that we are weak for them. I have gotten close to freedom. So close I could taste it. The hpd had changed her number, and I was so close to freedom from emotional slavery. I had a new girlfriend, who was also crazy, but not so much as the hpd. About two months had gone by with no contact, then I saw her randomly and begged for her number, instead of running as far as I could. She gave me her new number, and called later that day. I was homeless, because she had left me in a lease I couldn't afford before, so that night I paid for a hotel, until we eventually got a new place together. We have shared five apartments in two and a half years. Mostly because she leaves me in bad financial binds whenever she leaves. I am looking for a roommate because I doubt the hpd will pay rent without living here. I understand what a lot of you are dealing with, and I really feel less alone now that I know this isn't just happening to me.

by **yankeefan** » Fri Aug 13, 2010 8:34 pm

Principled Man wrote:Wow. Sounds scary. Just be glad you recognize the situation for what it is. This could get very complicated. If you are going to cut her off you will need a plan and the support of family and friends (not your father ). When you're gone you need to stay gone. Nothing says crazy like dry erase markers and heart shaped food. Look on the forum for a poster called Harry S. Read his earliest post about how he got out. Don't do anything hasty, be very clear about what you want and how you are going to implement it, then do it and don't look back.

I was not able to find anything by a Harry S. Found some posts by a harry, but nothing w/r/t getting out. Does anybody have a more specific recollection that would turn up the relevant search result?

by **wisdom** » Sun Aug 15, 2010 8:15 pm

harry-s-u26889/posts/?sd=a

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