Why does loving an HPD feel so much more like the real thing

Hi. I was recently diagnosed with HPD, and I can tell you that all that diagnosis means is that I met five of eight criteria after a subjective test. The way people on this forum talk about people with HPD is without compassion; you talk about them like they are monsters--evil, nonempathetic, and caring only about themselves. I have empathy, I genuinely care about people, and I have not done any of the following behaviors: cheating, lying, or dumping someone and moving on quickly to someone else. If I am dumped by a man, I am the one suffering and unable to function; he moves on fairly quickly to another woman. Also, if a boyfriend asks me to adjust a behavior because it infringes on his life, I do so; I genuinely want my boyfriend to be happy. Individuals are not their diseases; they are people with a wide range of behaviors within the disease. Although I know within that I am a good person, after getting this diagnosis, I am full of shame, self-loathing, and a lot of pain, and reading stuff like what is on this forum makes me feel even worse about myself. Please understand that nobody chooses to have a disease. I have also had boyfriends who did not give me feedback that aligns with the way people on this forum talk about people with HPD. I can only do the best I can do.

Hpd's like to play the victim card. The only way an hpd will ever think about you consistantly is if you don't respond to cries like this one. If you love them, they don't care about you. Plain and simple. The only people they obsess over are people who can't love them back. They will chase you to the end of the earth if you have no feelings for them whatsoever. The opposite pushes them away. They easy to understand. They get pissed off if you are try to control them in an obvious manner. If you want to be with them, it is easy as hell to chang their behaviors. You just can't love them. You have to only give them attention, when you want something.

I've cared about every man who has ever loved me. I don't lose interest if a man loves me. As I've gotten older, I think I have changed behaviors as much as I can, and I genuinely hope it does some good.