It Sucks To Be You

TO THE READERS: I’m just thinking out loud here. These are things I want to tell the HPD but never will (as it is futile and also not very nice). I just feel better getting these thoughts out of my head. To the HPDs and nons, feel free to share why you think it sucks to be the on the other side.


Dear HPD:

It must be very sad when your primary purpose in life is to seek as much attention as you can get. Life is so short and 99% (if not a 100) of it is wasted obsessing about how you look or how others perceive you. I find it tragic that you are not sure who you are without constant validation from other people. In your Herculean effort to convince the world (or yourself) that you are the best thing that ever happened to mankind, you fail to see and appreciate what makes life worth living.

There is nothing sadder than being oblivious to the real world and to real people – to have your own version of the events that happen around you or how people see you. How interesting it must be to live in the HPD world -- a world where all fantasies come true; a world where the HPD is the most admired, most loved, most adored. A world where lies are truths. A world without consequences. A world that revolves around you. Unfortunately, this perfect world exists only in your disordered mind. The truth is, without your mask or pretenses, after leaving a bitter taste in everyone’s mouths, you are the last on the list of the most loved, admired, or adored. If this fact is unknown to you, I cannot feel any sorrier for you.

I find it pitiful that you are clueless as to recognizing when you have a good thing going for you. In valuing people in terms of how much attention they can give you (or how much drama you can get out of them) instead of looking at the qualities that make them a good person, you miss out on the kind of relationships that will make a person feel secure and happy. What could be more tragic than to find foreign deep emotions such as love, joy, and happiness? From what I see, the HPD only experiences these emotions only through watching other people. It seems your understanding of these emotions do not go beyond Webster’s definition or how it is described in books or movies. It’s very entertaining when you mirror how one is supposed to act when “in love.” How frustrating it must be to see other people find love or happiness just by being who they are. I am assuming this is why you resent them; they do not have to work as hard as you do to gain another person’s affection, love, or respect.

I cannot imagine spending all my waking hours mirroring, gaslighting, projecting, devaluing, or just being downright nasty to everyone around me. Not only is this a lot of work, it is a surefire way for people to detest you. If this is you purpose in life, go do what you do best. When you reach the end of this journey -- when all the games are over, all the masks are discarded, all deceptions are revealed -- you will be not be remembered with fondness.

All I can say is: IT SUCKS TO BE YOU.

As you read this, dear HPD, I can already imagine you twisting my words, taking it out of context, or entirely missing the point (that is part of the disorder, I know). I wish (for your sake and the sake of the unfortunate people whose paths will cross with yours) that you are seeking the help you need. May you one day be enlightened that the world does not revolve around you.

Who are you trying to convince? HPDs or yourself?

While I don't necessarily condone what HPDs do to people or think they are innocent, I do think it is harsh and unfair to say it 'sucks to be them' when they did not choose to suffer from the disorder.

asphyx wrote: While I don't necessarily condone what HPDs do to people or think they are innocent, I do think it is harsh and unfair to say it 'sucks to be them' when they did not choose to suffer from the disorder.

Nothing in life is fair. The 'normals' did not choose to suffer from the disordered person's hurtful behavior either. It is usually too late when the truth is revealed to us. I will not be surprised if the PDs think it sucks being a 'normal' too.

by sofrance1:
Who are you trying to convince? HPDs or yourself

It's a writing exercise sofrance1. Just sharing what's in my head. I wrote it so no need to convince myself. As to convincing the HPDs, I gave up that futile task a long, long time ago.

"The 'normals' did not choose to suffer from the disordered person's hurtful behavior either."

Well thats not really true is it. They CHOOSE to be in the relationship. They CHOOSE to stay even if they are treated badly. That is their choice.

sofrance1 wrote:Well thats not really true is it. They CHOOSE to be in the relationship. They CHOOSE to stay even if they are treated badly. That is their choice.

That depends whether "choice" implies an informed decision or not. In the case of the PD individual the choices made, certainly earlier in the relationship, are based on false impressions and possibly outright lies. Making a choice that is based on deceit is not really a 'choice' at all.

If you offered someone a job based on a fabricated application form, falsified information and an interview in which they told a pack of lies could you really be considered to have 'chosen' them for the position? The person you chose is the one who wrote the form and told you they were a great employee - not the apathetic, feckless idiot you took on and then had to sack because they weren't capable of doing what they claimed they could.

If I sell you a sandwich which I described as BLT, but you get it home and discover it is cheese was that your choice?

But if you knew cheese sandwiches were bad for you and made you not well on occasion but they were just soooooooooooo nice you kept going back to the shop for more cheese sandwiches and ignoring the plain old BLT sandwiches which were much better for you but dull, then yes. Its for fault.

sofrance1 wrote:But if you knew cheese sandwiches were bad for you and made you not well on occasion but they were just soooooooooooo nice you kept going back to the shop for more cheese sandwiches and ignoring the plain old BLT sandwiches which were much better for you but dull, then yes. Its for fault.

Fair point and I completely agree Sofrance. If it gives you nightmares then MOVE AWAY FROM THE CHEESE.

However it is unfair to attribute responsibility for a decision to someone who wasn't fully in possession of the facts I think? Sometimes the sandwich looks like a BLT, and even has a sticker on it telling you 'Contains Bacon'. Maybe it even smells like a BLT while you are driving it home.... that can be reassuring. Then you take a bite and in a way you are committed to eating it, cheese or no cheese.

Have I now taken the sandwich analogy as far as it can possibly go!

I love the cheese analogy! "HPD is like cheese - discuss." Should be an obligatory question on psychology test papers.

I see your point and I think an HPD can manipulate you to get you hooked. Maybe like nicotine. At first you think you are doing it as it seems fun and you can walk away at any time. Then suddenly, when you realise it isn't fun and you want to walk away you can't as you are hooked. "HPD is like nicotine - discuss".

Cheese and wine go together so fine. I love being me. It doesn't suck for me all the time. Sometimes, but isn't that true for non HPD's as well? It sucks for you. You can not speak for me. Speak for yourself.

meow.