I think I have HPD

by **SweetPea** » Sat Feb 27, 2010 3:40 am

I am brand new to these forums. I only recently heard of Histrionic PD, but after reading thru countless articles, I am pretty sure that I suffer from this disorder. (in addition to anxiety, depression, & anorexia).

I would like to hear from other individuals who have HPD, not necessarily people who know someone with HPD. I don't want to be judged or anything, especially since people can be really mean over the internet.

I would like to know how other people realized they have this disorder. Also, should I see my doctor? I've always seen therapy as useless because it requires being honest which is very difficult (near impossible) for me.

Hi,

I have (and never had) any intention of judging you or anyone else here who genuinely has HPD. You don't come across as being in any major state of distress, however, and so I tell you not to see a dctor if you are getting on okay in your life. you might share the symptoms of HPD, but if yuo are 'happy' in life, then you shouldn't go to your doctor. In fact, if you are 'happy', then you woyld probably be better off just forgetting about HPD and never coming back here again...

...However, there's a reason why yuo came here in the first place obviously - What is it? Did you read about HPD in an article or something?

Kevin

by **insincerity** » Sat Feb 27, 2010 11:04 pm

SweetPea wrote: (in addition to anxiety, depression, & anorexia).

My girlfriend is HPD and realized it because I convinced her.

Also, Chucky, given what I just quoted, it doesn't sound like her life is all too "happy".

by **SweetPea** » Sat Feb 27, 2010 11:58 pm

Chucky wrote:Hi,

I have (and never had) any intention of judging you or anyone else here who genuinely has HPD. You don't come across as being in any major state of distress, however, and so I tell you not to see a dctor if you are getting on okay in your life. you might share the symptoms of HPD, but if yuo are 'happy' in life, then you shouldn't go to your doctor. In fact, if you are 'happy', then you woyld probably be better off just forgetting about HPD and never coming back here again...

...However, there's a reason why yuo came here in the first place obviously - What is it? Did you read about HPD in an article or something?

Kevin

My life has been in a state of distress for the past two years, when my symptoms really began to emerge. In that stretch of time, I've managed to destroy my relationship with my parents, drive away my closest friends, and jeopardize my relationship with my boyfriend. I am seeking help because my relationship is falling apart, and I cannot lose the only person who still cares for me.
In two years time I have failed out of two universities, yet I was a straight-A student as a child. I refuse to eat unless my boyfriend cooks for me or takes me out, and even then I'll only have a few bites. I'm 5' 4" and 94 pounds. Being underweight and malnourished has led to numerous health problems, but I don't really mind it. Drugs and alcohol are also a big part of my life. I see everything falling apart in front of me and I don't want to be left alone, so I am just trying to fix things before its too late.

I first read about HPD in an article and I was shocked by how accurately is described my own experiences. I then continued to read more on it until I was certain that I have it. I'm just not sure where to go from here.

by **Chucky** » Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:07 pm

Okay, thanks for sharing that info. What you did over the past two years is what I did too befiore I ultimately tried to end it all one day. It's like shedding the various pieces of your life that you managed to build up over the years previously. trying to deal with them all is too much because you have the mental stuff to deal with too. Your words about everything 'falling apart' ahead of you doesn't give me hope that uyou can deal with this yourself. Plus, while yuo migh think that you can hang onto your partner, in reality, you're more likely to be able to hang onto him if you admit (or 'own up') right now that you need help from others (and that you cannot go any further on your own. Can yuo genuinely tell me right now that your relationship with your partner won't some day become intolerable just like every other relationship you've ended recently?

You need help... Please just do your best to get it.

Kevin

by **insincerity** » Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:30 pm

It's actually a very good thing that you've managed to get to this stage of realization. Most people with HPD are never self-aware enough to even get this far, which is why they rarely get better. Now that you've on some levels come to term with what's wrong with you at least you can specifically target it through therapy. Also, try going to counseling with your boyfriend, especially since he's more likely to be honest about your symptoms of HPD with a therapist than you would be.

by **VTheChaosTheoryV** » Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:33 am

Well, at least your not overweight...On a lighter note, if you want to see "mean" the Narc' forum redefines it completely. :wink:

by **SweetPea** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:33 pm

Well thanks everyone for your input. You were all much nicer than expected. I thought everyone would attack me, but then again I'm naturally a very defensive person. I definitely now see that I should seek therapy. I just got off the phone with my boyfriend after being very rude to him for no reason and saying a lot of bad things about him. Apparently I talk down to his brother, too, which I never even noticed because I'm actually very sweet and harmless. The odd thing is that I feel really great and relieved after starting a verbal fight for no reason, and even though my boyfriend hung up on me, I find myself smiling.

A small part of me doesn't want to change. I like getting my way. Another part of me knows that I need to get help. So I will, but I'm not going out without a fight :lol:

by **VTheChaosTheoryV** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:35 pm

I think you would be better off without the need of help. If you found yourself smiling after that eruption, then perhaps you shouldn't change for anyone.

by **SweetPea** » Tue Mar 02, 2010 8:54 pm

VTheChaosTheoryV wrote:I think you would be better off without the need of help. If you found yourself smiling after that eruption, then perhaps you shouldn't change for anyone.

If life were going smoothly, and my actions only hurt those around me and not myself, then I wouldn't seek help. I wouldn't have to. However, I've managed to mess up a lot of things for myself due to my behavior.

I think I have HPD

I think I have HPD

ADVERTISEMENT

Re: I think I have HPD

Re: I think I have HPD

Re: I think I have HPD

Re: I think I have HPD

Re: I think I have HPD

Re: I think I have HPD

Re: I think I have HPD

Re: I think I have HPD

Re: I think I have HPD

Who is online