Is this HPD behavior?

I'm about 90% sure I have HDP but it goes on and off, so sometimes I think I'm just making up stories to myself until I do stupid things and it hits me. I would just like to know what you think of this situation.

So the other night, I made some kind of drama to my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling his affection enough and that I wanted to feel it more (he's not ready to say i love you yet, so it's kinda hard to take for me with HPD). So he said he would try harder. The next day I felt nothing changed at all and it made me feel even worse. So during the night I kept thinking about it and I couldn't sleep and I was feeling really bad. I figured I should talk to him about more in-depth. But since I'm acting foolishly as always and not like normal people would, I got the stupid idea to go cry in the bathroom. So I got up in the middle of the night. I was hoping to cry loud enough that he would hear me, get up and come ask me what was wrong. I know he heard me, but he never came. So waited a few more minutes, even kinda faked the cry, and went back to bed. So I tried just turning around and sniffling in the bed, but still even though he heard me, he didn't ask anything. I know this is really childish but I really wanted to feel he was concerned. Since it wasn't working, I just finally decided to just kinda wake him up and tell him I wasn't feeling good. I thought he would comfort me, but instead he got insanely mad that I woke him up just to cry and had nothing to say. So I got up and said I was leaving. I put on my clothes and my coat and I took really long cause I was hoping he would retain me. But he didn't so I went to the door before he finally said something. Anyways, I ended up not leaving, because I didn't really want to. And well the rest is not important. Just wondering if this is normal HPD behavior or I'm just going crazy? On the moment all that felt normal to me, but now that I think back about it, I realize the way I acted was so wrong and silly.

Sounds like rather HPDish behaviour (creating drama, faking crying for attention and sympathy) but you need to provide more information about your behaviours before I can say with any certainty that you have HPD.

Your boyfriend's reaction is quite telling. Most people would have acknowledged your tears and asked you what was wrong. Instead, your boyfriend tried his best to ignore you until he couldn't take your crocodile tears any longer, and then he became angry. (Did he have to get up for work in the morning, after you selfishly kept him awake half the night?) This suggests to me that you pull this sort of game so often that he knows you're just causing a scene for attention, and that there's nothing actually wrong with you.

So, yeah, you could very well be HPD. On the other hand, the fact that you are self-aware enough to come to this forum looking for help is a good sign. Maybe you aren't HPD, but just a bit immature and insecure?

AnDread wrote:This suggests to me that you pull this sort of game so often that he knows you're just causing a scene for attention, and that there's nothing actually wrong with you.

Uhh what the hell? If she was causing the scene JUST for attention, then that is definitely a common sign of HPD.

What I gathered from the situation was that Kana is most likely HPD and her silly little games don't work on her boyfriend who seems to be NPD or AsPD as he couldn't care less about her crying like a 'normal' person would.

asphyx wrote:Uhh what the hell? If she was causing the scene JUST for attention, then that is definitely a common sign of HPD.

I read 'there's nothing actually wrong with you' as 'you're not sick, you haven't injured yourself, and no-one you know just died, so there's no real reason for you to be wandering around crying at 2am', not 'you're not histrionic'.

The boyfriend doesn't have to be NPD/AsPD in order to ignore this type of attention-seeking. Most healthy people will eventually go from "poor baby, are you OK?" to "oh god not again, shut up and go to sleep" if they're overexposed to this sort of thing.

Couldn't resist posting the link to this article on The Times today. I'm not sure that pathologising and diagnosing is such a good idea except in extreme cases. There's a big difference between having personality traits and a full blown mental health disorder.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/commen ... 029289.ece

Hi asphyx,

asphyx wrote:

AnDread wrote:This suggests to me that you pull this sort of game so often that he knows you're just causing a scene for attention, and that there's nothing actually wrong with you.

Uhh what the hell? If she was causing the scene JUST for attention, then that is definitely a common sign of HPD.

Sorry for the confusion. I shouldn't have added the comma after "attention." What I meant was "This suggests to me that you pull this sort of game so often that he knows you're just causing a scene for attention and, therefore, he knows there's nothing actually wrong with you when you cry all night."

TatteredKnight wrote:The boyfriend doesn't have to be NPD/AsPD in order to ignore this type of attention-seeking. Most healthy people will eventually go from "poor baby, are you OK?" to "oh god not again, shut up and go to sleep" if they're overexposed to this sort of thing.

Yep. Like the boy who cried "Wolf!" I'm at that point with my HPD friend. One day there really will be something seriously wrong with her, but I won't believe her because of all the times that I extended sympathy to her -- by talking to her on the phone for hours (at all hours!), rushing out of town to be by her side, lending her money, accompanying her to court, ignoring issues in my own life because I was so worried about her, being alienated from people because I believed they had done her wrong, etc. -- just to find out that either she was greatly exaggerating her problem or she had actually played a part in causing the problem in the first place.

Well it was the first time I did this to him so his reaction really surprised and shocked me because I wasn't expecting that. I did it to be comforted, not yelled at. And no he did not have to wake up to work in the morning. He just told me he hated being woken up for no good reason. Maybe I just have the worst boyfriend. But anyhow that's not the point; thanks for the replies.

Maybe he just doesn't want to deal with such blatantly attention seeking (possibly HPD) behavior. I know I wouldn't put up with it.