Easiest Sign Someone is Likely HPD...

That's what they do, isn't it? they drag us from one extreme [emotion] to another, and we don't know what to do. That's why we stay, even though we get battered emotionally. They can be quite charming, and yet unbelievably nasty. I don't really hold any grudges though, because in the past year I have changed my way of looking at things as follows: There are positives in every negative situation. So, what I see as positive from my past HPD relatioship(s) is that I gained great wisdom.

...what did you learn?; what are the positives?

Kevin

Chucky wrote:That's what they do, isn't it? they drag us from one extreme [emotion] to another, and we don't know what to do. That's why we stay, even though we get battered emotionally. They can be quite charming, and yet unbelievably nasty. I don't really hold any grudges though, because in the past year I have changed my way of looking at things as follows: There are positives in every negative situation. So, what I see as positive from my past HPD relatioship(s) is that I gained great wisdom.

...what did you learn?; what are the positives?
Kevin

Your absolutely right in the positives comment and that's how Ive been feeling (being a deeply philosophical and optimistic gal) but reading your post on how that guy killed himself made me sooo mad! Some people are not fortunate enough to be able to pull themselves up and draw on the positives and they suffer badly - what about friends and family of that guy? Why is it ok that they were made to suffer also? I'm ok for me, in fact I would not remove my last relationship from my life if I could because it's been so valuable in many ways but it really f#@ks me off that some are left really hurting for a looong time. I've met a few of my ex's 'victims' and Ive seen for myself this type of damage.
Once again -lol as it's this trait in me (libran-innate sense of fairness and justice, empathy) that prolonged my involvement with him. I wanted him to acknowledge and really FEEL what he made me feel and I tried so hard (and futilely!) to get him to be able to REALLY empathise, acknowledge and own and hence validate my emotions and rel side effects! Wot a twit I was! HOWEVER - these same traits trampled on by him have, in every other facet of my life, given me such rewards from life and the relationships i hold with others so UP HIS, they're mine and i'm keeping them!

^^

You may not care to have female friends, or male, but you are more likely to take on a male "friend" than ever a female friend. This is because in the nature of the HPD traits is to be the "center" of attention. If maybe you can find only friends that your man would not find attractive in anyway, you might would amuse yourself for a bit superficially to be friends with them, or perhaps you have friends on social network sites, etc, and consider them friends but you really never see them.

If your "guy" doesn't find it strange that you don't have friends it is because right off the bat you probably convinced him of whatever "smoked mirrors" as someone else was saying on the other thread. You told him what you wanted to know from the very beginning... INCLUDING... "how he should handle you" if you say this or that or whatever. You've admitted that you manipulated him, but no that doesn't make him an idiot as you have suggested. Only that he met you, believed your facade, and didn't see the train for the fog you created until it was too late and now here you are with child like manurisms, not maintaining the facade any more and he doesn't know what the heck happened.

But, you aren't always the center of attention and when you are around other females that perhaps take the limelight away from you whether it is "friends" acquaintances, or even males that don't find you attractive ( and yes, there probably are some that don't even though you won't believe that they don't), you put others down or do something dramatic to put the focus back on you. Instead of just going to a job every day, going home, and being normal. I am curious with all that you say you do, if he is sleeping at night, why are you trying to wake him? Do you have a job/career/ or family?? Just wondering what your responsibilities are and wondering if perhaps you might could find better use of your time.

But all of these that everyone has said on here are likely signs that you are at least some HPD, but we can't diagnose you of course.
S

Hey
Just wanted to throw in my two cents worth..Ive been married to my wife for 18 years, with her for 20..We finally figured out in 2008 that she has HPD...I cant start to tell you the pain that i have endured...just to keep my two girls in a "normal" family...I have pretty much been destroyed by her actions over the years ie...13 year boyfriend,multiple guys that she flirts with or tries to hook up with...etc...I guess i am the fool at this point..I do worry about my girls all the time..Is there anyway i can discuss this with them to ensure that they are at least able to self diagnosis or be aware of this condition? one is 14 and one is 18. I never could figure out why she was trying to destroy our family all these years with her insane antics..I am really tired and just kinda waiting for something to take me out of here,I think i have ptsd from the iraq war and at a dead end.Is this condition treatable,Is there any genetic connection,My stepdaughter has the same traits? I just caught her flirting with an old friend from HS and swore i would leave her,She was doing good since 2008 but decided to join facebook two months ago...With the advent of the internet,she has really lost it .
Sorry for ranting

scorpio mine male HPD