Parent-child relationship model

by **newtohpd** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:31 am

Scarlett,

I know you are self-aware and that your case is actually different than most of our relationships, where awareness is an issue.

Actually my ex also thought she was independent - and superficially she was. Infact she managed a lot of my superficial financial transactions, like paying bills and stuff. However, at a deeper level I knew that I was the safety-board for her, upon which her superficial independence was built - if I left her, all her independence would be in shambles. Whatever decision she took, it was based on my approval - so that if a crisis arose, I would be there to cover up and do the donkey-work for all her mistakes or at least support her through the crisis.

On the other hand, if a crisis arose in my life, she would not be very useful except carry out the superficial tasks. She wouldn't really be able to plan and get me out of the crisis.

So in a way, I rowed the boat, while she with her childlike gaiety paddled, mimicking superficially what I did in the water. To people, and also to herself, it seemed she contributed to the boat moving forward, but the truth was that if I stopped rowing, the boat wouldn't move an inch forward.

Parent-child relationship model

Re: Parent-child relationship model

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