I have a friend that I can only figure is someone with HPD. I am a person with schizotypal p. d. and PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. My 'friend' who I have told countless times that I am gay and not interested in her sexually or as any type of 'couple' arrangement seems to be overly obsessed (with many things). I have conversations that seem to be going well in mutual understanding and then as we come to a 'close' to depart there is a weird 'twist' as if she never heard or understood a word I said or what we'd talked about and then 'crazy making' (on her part) resumes. I am triggered by this back to my own 'crazy-making' family upbringing and to compound the issue I am also triggered by a 'repetitive' nature of her 'repetitive' attempts (even if jokingly) to suggest I would be an ideal 'partner'.
I'm at the point of not wanting to even be friends AT ALL because it is simply too strange and I think the only way forward is for her to get some therapy.
How can I be direct if she simply is not actually 'truly listening?'
Our partner
When being direct to a friend with HPD doesn't work!?
Forum rules
Attention Please. You are entering the Histrionic Personality Disorder forum. Please read this carefully.
Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of HPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non HP readers. Discussions related to HPD behavior are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging or encouraging these urges is not what this forum is intended for.
Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse from HPDs. .
Non HPD users are welcome to post here, But their questions Must have a respectful tone.
If you are a NON and have issues with an past relationship with an HPD person, it is suggested that you Post in a Relationship forum. Here is a link to that forum: relationship/
For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.
Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.
Best Regards,
The Team
Attention Please. You are entering the Histrionic Personality Disorder forum. Please read this carefully.
Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of HPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non HP readers. Discussions related to HPD behavior are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging or encouraging these urges is not what this forum is intended for.
Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse from HPDs. .
Non HPD users are welcome to post here, But their questions Must have a respectful tone.
If you are a NON and have issues with an past relationship with an HPD person, it is suggested that you Post in a Relationship forum. Here is a link to that forum: relationship/
For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.
Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.
Best Regards,
The Team
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When being direct to a friend with HPD doesn't work!?
by keywi » Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:25 am
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Re: When being direct to a friend with HPD doesn't work!?
by Roni » Tue Nov 03, 2009 9:11 pm
Hi Keywi,
It sounds like you have truly tried your best to communicate with this person. Sadly, sometimes the best thing you can do is give up on a hopeless relationship. Since she continues to fail to listen to you and shows no regard for your well-being, it might be time to just let her go. If she tries to keep hanging on, just confront her each time (calmly but directly) with her inappropriate behavior and she'll soon go away. Good luck and take care of yourself.
It sounds like you have truly tried your best to communicate with this person. Sadly, sometimes the best thing you can do is give up on a hopeless relationship. Since she continues to fail to listen to you and shows no regard for your well-being, it might be time to just let her go. If she tries to keep hanging on, just confront her each time (calmly but directly) with her inappropriate behavior and she'll soon go away. Good luck and take care of yourself.
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Re: When being direct to a friend with HPD doesn't work!?
by asphyx » Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:10 am
If I were you I would've ###$ her brains out by now but each to their own... 
I think you should tell her directly that you value your friendship with her too much to ruin it with a relationship. If she does not listen to that and pushes the issue just repeat yourself. If that doesn't work then your only choice may be to run or to tell her she has HPD and suggest therapy to her.
I think you should tell her directly that you value your friendship with her too much to ruin it with a relationship. If she does not listen to that and pushes the issue just repeat yourself. If that doesn't work then your only choice may be to run or to tell her she has HPD and suggest therapy to her.
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