Driven to Homocide

Hey,

You've done the right thing by coming here to post, and I implore you to continue writing because I believe that it'll help you to get all of this anger out of you. Some of us just don't get dealt the right cards in life but, look, there IS a way through the mess that you're in right now. Just please try to focus on one problem at a time though, and while you do this leave the other problems alone and just let them simmer in the background. You can always address them later, once the more pressing issues/problems are dealt with.

Kevin

Greatsharkbite wrote: I wish (Although it doesn't sound like it) you had a relative or someone you could stay with until you're able to get your own place.

Greatsharkbite,

You're right in your assumption. I don't have anyone local that I could stay with. My entire circle of family and friends were displaced and relocated 4 years ago after Hurricane Katrina. My immediate family is about 1.5 hours drive away. And because I was alienated from them for so long, I just could not ask for their help.

caro81VA wrote:Anyway. The important thing to realize here is that you are not going crazy and also you are NOT powerless. Concentrate on doing the things that you can do.

caro, I can't tell you how many times I will read and reread your statement above. I will use it as a "mantra". Thank you!

The following is a timeline of the past 5 years with this HPD:

Fall 2004: Twenty year old son is deployed to Iraq. During my own anxiety and concern for my son's safety; HPD hooks up with the secretary of his Workers Comp attorney. I am apathetic because my concerns were with my son.

Jan 2005: I have a change of heart and resolve myself to repair my marriage via prayers and faith.

Jan-May 2005: I am in a sort of battle to sustain my marriage and family - and the entire time HPD is carrying on with secretary and appeasing me.

May 2005: I am diagnosed with fibroid tumors on the female organs and a complete hysterectomy os scheduled.

June 2005: Hysterectomy complete, yet 5 days later I begin to have abnormal bleeding. While recovering from almost bleeding to death, HPD has lunch with secretary.

August 29, 2005: Hurricane Katrina and following oil spill devaste my home and parish.

September 2005: My son is returning from Iraq, but due to the devastation in New Orleans, he is re-routed to Southwest LA. I am adamant to greet him upon homecoming and therefore rent the first available apartment in a nearby city. due to the fact that we coudnt go back to New Orleans until Jan 2006, I placed my daughter in a local school temporarily.

Dec 2005: I had proof positive that the relationship with the secretary had no not eneded. Therefore I decided to make the evacuation city my home. My daughter was thrilled. It was easier for me to relocate myself than to relocate her again. Like a fool I allowed this HPD to join us because he "missed being" with his daughter.

Feb 2006: I secured a job with a local security agency. All the while HPD was still keeping up with the secretary.

August 2006: I am promoted and working desperateley to prove myself.

Dece 2006: HPD has undermined everything that I've tried to do.

Jan 2007: HPD finally moves out and goes back to New Orleans.

March 2007: HPD's mother dies and yet I fall for his "lines" of loyalty again; therefor I allow HPD back into my home.

December 2007: I am faced with yet another set of lies between him and secretary. This time I am steadfast and order him gone.

May 2008: HPD comes to town for our daughter's 8th grade graduation. Like a FOOL I allowed him back into my home.

FWD to Jan 2009: HPD decides that he'll make a fortune by becoming a contrator in Iraq. I'm so thankful because now I can carry the plan of escape out.

April 2009: HPD injures knee and ankle while in Iraq. Returns home to workers comp claim.

Nov 2009: HPD has surgery on knee. Dr. forbids taking Demoral with Loritab. I'm convinced that I can slip him both therefore I would not have to endure his sufferings any longer.

I'm getting back on track guys. It's very comforting to know that I can vent to people who know what i'm talking about. So few understand and often times I'm afraid that the others would think that I am crazy if I were t describe the HPD.

Thank you for listening and allowing me tovent.
teche

Heya ((Teche25))

First off, I am really glad you decided to post. The supportive people here are absolutely amazing and yah they really do understand where you are coming from. Like my wise pal Harry_S used to say, the HPD will fade from my memories but the good people here will always remain close to my heart. They were the ones who got it, picked me up when I was feeling so low, and inspired me to rebuild my life.

And you will too my friend. Just looking at your list you can see a very strong and caring person. You have taken on many challenges and you will also get past this challenge as well.

Do what you have to do to take care of yourself and don't let the weasels get ya too down. Remember, you always have a place here to lean on

All the best