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Question about extreme praise
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The Team
Attention Please. You are entering the Histrionic Personality Disorder forum. Please read this carefully.
Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of HPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non HP readers. Discussions related to HPD behavior are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging or encouraging these urges is not what this forum is intended for.
Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse from HPDs. .
Non HPD users are welcome to post here, But their questions Must have a respectful tone.
If you are a NON and have issues with an past relationship with an HPD person, it is suggested that you Post in a Relationship forum. Here is a link to that forum: relationship/
For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.
Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.
Best Regards,
The Team
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Question about extreme praise
by TheLongHaul » Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:42 am
I have been thinking about this and it doesn't make sense to me. I've been reading in a book that says one of the only things you can do with the HPD in your life is to praise the hell out of them when they resist doing something that would be typical of an HPD (i.e. not being excessively flirtatious or overly attention seeking ect.). Now, one of the characteristics of HPD is the fact that they basically love you until you return that love and then they tend to get bored and move on to something new. Isn't that like rewarding the HPD but getting a bad result because of it? Is it counter intuitive to praise the hell out of someone for any reason when that someone lives for the chase? Has anyone experienced anything good with over the top praise?
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Re: Question about extreme praise
by asphyx » Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:45 am
Yes I agree that praising the hell out of a HPD for ANYTHING is a bad idea. I think it's better to PUNISH a HPD for poor behaviour than to just reward their good behaviour. Both are preferable though and you certainly can't overdo the praise or they may turn on you.
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Re: Question about extreme praise
by Musician924 » Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:14 pm
Hi:
Well, with hindsight, I have a slightly different view. HPD crave praise at all AND ANY PRICE, and i witnessed this craving, so best give it, thats if you want to keep them of course. At the same time maintain your independence, HPD's want you "dependent", then when you are hooked, dependent and powerless they shall emotionally abuse you through the cylces so often explained and repeated on this site. If you remain totally independent (easier said than done if you fall in love...), and give praise, I would say you are the ideal mate for an HPD...you satisfy their supply yet thwart their destructive hooks. You appease and excite,
Good luck,
Musician
Well, with hindsight, I have a slightly different view. HPD crave praise at all AND ANY PRICE, and i witnessed this craving, so best give it, thats if you want to keep them of course. At the same time maintain your independence, HPD's want you "dependent", then when you are hooked, dependent and powerless they shall emotionally abuse you through the cylces so often explained and repeated on this site. If you remain totally independent (easier said than done if you fall in love...), and give praise, I would say you are the ideal mate for an HPD...you satisfy their supply yet thwart their destructive hooks. You appease and excite,
Good luck,
Musician
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Re: Question about extreme praise
by caro81VA » Thu Oct 29, 2009 4:13 pm
I never got any results from the praise thing, and I don't like being insincere anyway.
The most important thing you have (in this whole mess and afterwards) is yourself. Why compromise that? Just be yourself, give praise if you feel like it and not if you don't. You don't have to be manipulative just because they are.
The most important thing you have (in this whole mess and afterwards) is yourself. Why compromise that? Just be yourself, give praise if you feel like it and not if you don't. You don't have to be manipulative just because they are.
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Re: Question about extreme praise
by asphyx » Fri Oct 30, 2009 1:03 am
caro81VA wrote:The most important thing you have (in this whole mess and afterwards) is yourself. Why compromise that? Just be yourself, give praise if you feel like it and not if you don't. You don't have to be manipulative just because they are.
Being yourself seems to yield undesirable results when dealing with a HPD.
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Re: Question about extreme praise
by caro81VA » Fri Oct 30, 2009 5:20 pm
OK, let me answer another way:
"Changing the behavior of the victim does not change the behavior of the Personality Disorder. Many victims become superstitious and feel that they can control the behavior of the Personality Disorder in their life by changing their behavior. This is often a temporary fix, meaning only that you are now meeting the demands of the Personality Disorder. When the Personality Disorder feels justified, they return to their behavior with no concern for changes in the behavior of the victim. Loving sharks doesn’t protect us if we find ourselves dripping blood in a shark tank. "
http://counsellingresource.com/distress ... part3.html
EVERYTHING yields undesirable results when dealing with an HPD. You can't control their behavior nor can you fix them. So, you really need to make sure you're not compromising yourself.
"Changing the behavior of the victim does not change the behavior of the Personality Disorder. Many victims become superstitious and feel that they can control the behavior of the Personality Disorder in their life by changing their behavior. This is often a temporary fix, meaning only that you are now meeting the demands of the Personality Disorder. When the Personality Disorder feels justified, they return to their behavior with no concern for changes in the behavior of the victim. Loving sharks doesn’t protect us if we find ourselves dripping blood in a shark tank. "
http://counsellingresource.com/distress ... part3.html
EVERYTHING yields undesirable results when dealing with an HPD. You can't control their behavior nor can you fix them. So, you really need to make sure you're not compromising yourself.
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