Two books one called Adult Children of Alcoholics and another called Adult Children of Dysfunctional families. I read these in college and it basically states these books go hand in hand as alcoholic families are dysfunctional of course. The children take on the ROLES I am about to describe and become scapegoats to take the attention OFF of the alcoholic or the dysfunctional person (parent). OK,
The Rebel
The Hero
The Forgotten Child
The Clown or Jester
When I read these two books I was very sad because it made perfect sense how we all (my siblings and me) turned out and there were four of us and in that EXACT SAME ORDER. My older sister (The rebel)always got in trouble and was mean and defiant and got by with everything as my parents didn't want to fight with her. She was and is to this day self centered and doesn't have empathy unless it gets sympathy for herself.
Me(the hero)I have said before that I was the only child of the family in sports, and all and every recreation and extracurricular activity and was good at what ever I did. Even now, I make it a point in my life to try not to start something that I can't finish, or I will procrastinate starting something that I am not sure that I can finish in a good way, and I put myself in the spotlight.
My (The forgotten Child)little sister was very quiet and shy and introverted. She hung on my mother like glue and was never close to my dad. No one hardly even knew she was there unless you looked for her. She hid a lot, but was normally very neglected. Now she is still introverted, but functions okay and just finished her bachelors and has a family. She studied about PDs in college and was the one explaining to me about our dad before I researched it. I don't feel she ended up with a PD herself, but had a lot of anger issues when she was a kid mostly when she was a kid, but a temper now.
My brother (the clown) always did and still does pretty stupid things and although part of me believes he will grow out of that eventually when he has a family, most of it makes me think this is part of his ROLE from being the clown. He is a good person and very big hearted and does keep us laughing at things he does, but it is sad he ended up this way as a result of this.
I am just seeing what you all thought about the roles of different people's upbringings mixed up with a PD and any other personality traits that people acquire.
Also on Myer's Briggs:
I am an ENFP
On True Colors Spectrum
I am an ORANGE,GOLD,BLUE,GREEN (ten years ago my GOLD AND BLUE were reversed as I did most of my decisions off my heart instead of thinking before I leap)
I used to be a TOTAL Extrovert, but time and healing and not trusting people I am about 8 out of 10 extrovert.
I am reserved with people until I trust them, I hardly trust anyone so will carry on casual conversation and not express things too personal to anyone. I eat lunch by myself most of the time at work, unless I go to lunch with my husband when he is in town. I sit alone at ballgames if no family comes or with in a few close people's range, but not necessarily with them. But, I can be socialable when the time arrises and am fine at church except when the older people want to hug. I will hug if I have to as to not hurt their feelings or if it is my idea. I used to be a hugger as a kid, and not so much anymore, I have to have my back to the wall or not exposed when we go to places like restaurants or I freak out, I don't like big pushy crowds and hate small confined spaces because they freak me out. Even certain clothes will send me into a panic like turtleneck sweaters or if my wedding ring (usually the only jewelry I wear) won't come off when I want it to or I feel like I can't get it off I panic. Even if I am not going anywhere, if I don't have my car at home, and no way to go anywhere, I freak out a little.
Not sure all what made me the way I am, but am still trying to untwist those ropes to get to the root of it and then put it all in a nice neat order.
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