Let me share my story with you

It's true, even being a mental health professional, she blinded me. But keep in mind that you don't have your theories in mind 24 hours a day. When I met this girl, it was at a bar, and in this context flirting is apropriate. Now if it was in a professional context, or any other when a flirting behaviour is not appropriate I would have found out earlier. Also, it was a long distance relationship, so I didn't know what was going on. I think if i'm fair, the distance may have played here a significant part, as many girls would have messed around. Girls, even if not HPD, have more opportunities, and despite what many people say, they often crave sex as much, or even more than guys. There are a lot of HPD out there, just need to keep eyes open.

I want to chime in here. While not a mental health professional, I was a divorce lawyer of some twenty years standing when I met my ex gf. I handled all kinds of crazy stuff. I was not an unaware person. However, my ex gf so targeted and snowed me that I was captivated. I had come out of a bad marriage and I was vulnerable.

Let me add that if someone had walked up to me and said, "This woman has serious psychological issues and has a personality disorder akin to narcissism," I would have immediately dropped her.

However, ignorance is not bliss. I had never heard of this disorder until my therapist explained it. And even then I didn't want to accept what it meant. She was, after all, so warm and ebullient. Sure she had some strange issues, but who doesn't?

Now I am the wiser, but it took four years. And, even now, there are days where I cannot believe that she could have turned out this way. She could explain ANYTHING away. Anything.

Not to sound too spiritual, but in my own life I have discovered that unless I am willing to face the truth about myself, and sometimes it is ugly truth, I cannot become more whole, more authentic, as it were. I cannot let go of the false and inauthentic unless I first admit that it is there. And to face that usually involves some pain.

In other words, you cannot cure a problem you are unwilling to admit exists.

To this day, my ex gf of fifty two has never stepped foot in a counseling office and never will. She cannot face the truth about herself. She cannot face the pain. She will continue down her path although I have told her what she is dealing with.

She has had a life time to perfect her dramatic skills. It is not surprising that a seasoned mental health professional could be drawn into a relationship with a professional actress.

I agree, it's just a testament to how very, very convincing an HPD can be. They can manipulate a therapist in his own office -- I certainly saw that with mine -- so why not in a relationship with one outside of work?

This is one of my favorite links, got it a while back on this forum, and it warns against the tricks an HPD will pull in therapy. See "management of the interview".
http://books.google.com/books?id=N4SSNA ... er&f=false