by starz » Tue May 24, 2005 6:01 pm
Thanks for your answer.
As i explained to you today, my posts on this hpd forum, were not for you to read. They were for me to find some sort of support, and yes, at times for a sounding/venting board. (which is why i posted as a guest, rather than as me).
Why do you think i was sounding off on here? Do these people know you? I need support too, from someone - who is there???
I learned my lesson last year, about talking to people about our problems. You have told me many times, that i have put my foot in my mouth with regards to my friends and family. I take your advise on board. You were clearly able to explain to me, that i had made our relationship difficult, by talking to my friends and family about things that had happened. I learned.
Why havent you? That was all i was asking?
You are very quick to give out advice, that you dont seem to follow yourself.
You are very quick to make statements about how we should conduct ourselves with out ex's, but dont seem to follow it yourself.
Youre answer was that if you told me the truth i would walk out. You told me you would tell me on here. You brought this discussion to the forum.
We have spent the weekend on further discussions. I understand how these things have hurt you. But you didnt answer my question.
I am not putting you down. You are a wonderful, kind, caring man, who is good to me and my children.
You have done things wrong that i have tried to understand.
Again, i say to you, i dont understand how you can sit there and give advice to me, that i take, get fed up when i take it, but its a different story for you. I have no one there to talk to but this forum, now this may not be right, but, if you wont answer my questions, where else am i supposed to turn if i take your advice and dont turn to friends and family????
You seem to want me not to question anything that you do.
Just accept, forget, and move on.
You have answered many of my questions, and for that i am grateful. This has brought understanding, and forgiveness, and closeness in our relationship.
I want a life too. I did not ask for any of this to happen, but neverless, if it needed to happen to be with you, in an open honest way, then i am glad.
I do realise that i have problems over the things that have happened the last couple of years, and, am ready to accept that i may need some help.
I am going to seek this now, for myself. I have tried hard to do this as a couple, (which is how you preferred) but, if you are not willing to trust me enough to answer my questions honestly, or be fed up when i ask what i need, or need to vent on here to others who have been through what i have, rather than to people i know, or be fed up for me to get support from anyone, and think that i can hold all this inside, well i will be honest, and say that i cant.
I cant deal with this alone.
I love you very much, but i dont understand what you do at times. And you dont help me to try.