Am I in a relationship with a person who has HPD?

Genuinely just wondering if i've been in a relationship with someone who has HPD.

Infact part of me is wondering exactly where the heartbreak is coming from with most of the people on this forum who have had a relationship with people with HPD.

I keep hearing how horrible these people are and how badly being in a relationship with them will mess up their lives. But how exactly? I could see if they cheated but that'd go for anyone you're in a relationship with normally. I don't understand the deceptiveness and the lies.

For me, it tends to be an ongoing mellowdrama. My gf keeps talking about how she gets these suicidal thoughts. Everything seems to be something fatal happening to her. Cancer on some days, organ failing the next day. I thought it was something hormonal tho.

Also she always needs attention and the way she interacts with people is generally off. She always gets along with everyone but she is frequent to fake like she's not home because she often (on a everyday basis) establishes friendships with people who she doesn't really like.

She also changes her opinion on things really fast. One moment this person is the best friend, the next moment she was never friends with them.

If I could get some experiences of the reason why people could tell their gf/spouse has HPD. It'd be really helpful.

Greatsharkbite Wrote:

Infact part of me is wondering exactly where the heartbreak is coming from with most of the people on this forum who have had a relationship with people with HPD

You just have not felt the betrayal yet? If you are saying this you haven't. Read the posts! You have to read the in depth post above. Most of the people with hpd will cheat, lie and steal from you and devalue you until you are broken. Then they best part, move on with no care in the world how they use or discard you?

You have to just read, post a question and we can chime in to help you. You have to just read all of the post though to find out what you are up against.

If you feel like this good about her now, I would run before you feel the betrayal and get drained......... Later~

Greatsharkbite wrote:
She also changes her opinion on things really fast. One moment this person is the best friend, the next moment she was never friends with them.

This isn't a changing of opinion, this is a re-write of her reality. It also called 'davaluing' if she was respectful of somebody then they had a different opinion, so then she no longer is respectful and devalues them.

You're either not with a person who is abusive to the extent of the HPD or else you woudn't ask the questions that you do, or you are quite niave to abuse, it's not clear in your post.

Great shark,

If she convinces you to marry her. Then you do at the expense of losing ALL of your friends and family.........because they can see that she is "a slut"...........but you love her and want to give her a chance.............

Then she changes her mind and abandons you on the so-called honeymoon..........cold, pouty, miserable, "honeymoon"...becaus eshe's not happy with the gifts............


Then she throws herself at a guy and takes him to bed on day 9 of your so-called marriage............and you haven't had one kiss, one smile, nothing.............


Then she says it didn't mean a thing.............

Well that's NPD/HPD..............to me


But she really "loves you"!!!...........hahahahaha

Be honest with yourself? Why have you come, ask about some of the actions you have seen her do that make you question her being hpd? No one just scans a computer to get here if there isn't that is hurting you or making you feel bad and used?

What is she doing to make you question? Be honest and let the healing begin! No one knows who you are and it could save your life if you are in fact in love with a person that hpd! Thay are the perfect predator!

411needed wrote:Be honest with yourself? Why have you come, ask about some of the actions you have seen her do that make you question her being hpd? No one just scans a computer to get here if there isn't that is hurting you or making you feel bad and used?

What is she doing to make you question? Be honest and let the healing begin! No one knows who you are and it could save your life if you are in fact in love with a person that hpd! Thay are the perfect predator!

Sorry I haven't replied in a while, i've been both busy and trying to read the other posts here. The reason I posted is because I ran into something about histrionic personality disorder by coincidence a year ago and some things seem to click. She is a little too agreeable, and her opinion sways a little too easily sometime.

Overly sexual, throws tantrums and stomps aroundwhen she doesn't get her way on something. I'm not sure what the difference is between a regular person acting this way and HPD.

Was also trying to find out if they're as manipulative as crafty as people say they are, how do people here know? She's only lied to me once, and it was about something fairly serious.

When does the line cross between human being who occassionally screws up to HPD and how are people here able to themselves diagnose the people in their lives with HPD?

GSB,

I'm in my 60's , i've known a lot of people who were just
a little "histrionic" ect.........

I've only known 2 people who were histrionic to the extent
they could not keep a job or a relationship, or anything.........

I've also known a few NPD's who were apparently "clinical".

Without analysis........only a lot of time/exposure can perhaps tell you how bad a person's condition is...............and maybe knowledge of their "history"................Many of us here didn't know how severely ill they were and made the mistake of giviung them a chance..............

I can tell you now..........my Ex is as "crazy" or "disturbed" as they come.........

She was an orphan, a juvenile delinquient, promicuous, violent, wild, runaway.............ect.

I was just fooled into thinking that she "loved" me, and that I could "save her"...................


What a joke...............

If you feel the need to "help" her, you are flirting with disaster. These people have a way of making one devalue themselves, then suddenly abandon you, leaving you feeling like it was your fault. Remember, the HPD believes everyone else has caused their problem, not themselves. Sounds like you are about to be sucked into the emotional vortex that is HPD. Get out while you can.

Mine lied to me only once and it stuck with me because it too was a serious, serious lie. I found out 2 1/2 years later that everything about her, even who she claimed to be was a lie. I would say that not looking into the one lie cost me 2 years of waste? But, I thought that she wouln't do the lie bit anymore?

If you think that she might have this hpd, watch your back and start trusting your own instincts because yes these hpd people are VERY,VERY sneaky and make you doubt yourself to the end. Watch her actions and what they mean verses what she is saying to you. Remember actions speak louder than words and once you start looking, you might be surprised?

Usually if a person lies about something and gets caught, they lie about more and just haven't been caught yet!