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I don't know that I would describe it as "boring" but I think ultimately it boils down the same...

It's just the same old sh!t...

...Over and over again.

With the HPD there is never anything new. It still is astonishing to me that HPD is such a cookie cutter. So many of the stories related here are so very strikingly similar. Removed by space and time and yet nearly identical right down to mannerisms and catch phrases. It's as if they are completely interchangeable.

Before long it just becomes "old". "Tiring" is the word that comes to mind for me rather than boring. I also have a feeling of dread when I think about my ex and her disorder... a "why bother"? kinda feeling.

I come back to this forum once in a while to check in and see if there is something new. See if some of the folks from my time are still around and posting... a couple are but most are gone. Soon I'll be in court again with my ex, just in time for the holidays! And visiting helps to remind me of whence I came and helps me to prepare my mind for the challenge of dealing with her again.

We don't have to understand the HPD. All we can do is accept that they are disordered. That acceptance alone has brought me a peace of mind that I had not known in years. I don't have to rationalize her behavior or de-code it or analize it or give it any thought whatsoever... she does what she does because she's disordred. It has and never did have anything to do with me.

Now, kids, doesn't that feel better? ;-D

This forum helped me out a whole lot the past few months. I got involved with one of these crazy chicks earlier this year that lasted about 3 months. Same stuff... super hot, habitual liar, used religion as a cover, ex-husband beat her (yeah right), constantly text loving (controlling) messages, horrible kisser, yada yada yada.

F'ed with my head for a little while until I caught on. The final moment for me was that she was with me and took a call from another dude and answered the exact same way that she answered my calls. Also had texts blowing up from other suckers. WTF?

She texted me for about 4 days after that in which I finally responded that I met somebody else and to have a nice life (after finding out what she was and reading suggestions on here). Haven't heard from her since (prob 2 months).

Saw her "friend" a few weeks ago and she told me that I should give her a call, that she would love to hear from me. My answer to that was "yeah, probably not".

I was thinking about calling her and having her come over to have sex and then tell her to "get the f' out". In other words, I'm considering f'ing with her head like she does with all of her boyfriends.

Maybe I will and maybe I won't, the best part is that since I now understand what she is that it won't bother me either way.

Thanks for the help on these forums because I did think I was losing my mind for a while, only to discover that she is one of many that destroys peoples lives all of the time.

I too have found help on this site. I was accused of stalking my "friend" with HPD. My atty deposed her and what a crock of BS. She even managed to stage cry at the end of it!We go to court soon to fight the stalking charge. I can't wait to hear her convoluted craziness. In her depostion she said she considers me a friend, but then says she's afraid of me. It is comforting to know I am not the only one taken advantage of by a disturbed person like her. Don't think about screwing with her mind, they are experts at manipulation!

MD - I know exactly what you mean with the line of thought about just having sex because you know that is all is there. However, if it works and you are uninhibited and it is good, you will want to do that again probably.

This is where her power is concentrated. She will know its the only reason you wanted her there. She was likely thinking that even when it was much more to you. She might even tease you and withhold. Once your in the mind state and she doesn't deliver, you have been snatched up by your nuggets and right back to the land of control.

I don't think you can 'win' with this personality disorder. If you do, it will either be repressed anyway and won't matter to her, or she will strike up a plan to get you in some way even if its down the road.

I really do understand the tempting thoughts of that. I still am fighting them. What I am telling you is from experience. I suggest you stay away from the fire. You made it out clean so just stay clean and forget about it. Be happy you didn't fall into my path and have to co-parent with a young child and deal with divorce / custody and the new boyfriends.

I wouldn't blame you if you did get weak and try it though. It likely would mean that you haven't moved on and she was under your skin though...and that is more like a win to her because you have allowed yourself to remain on her list of supply.

I wouldn't lower myself to her level - of making a problem for someone.

MD wrote:Maybe I will and maybe I won't, the best part is that since I now understand what she is that it won't bother me either way.

You sound like the ant staring at the sugar cube dangling off of the black widow nest If you walk back into her den, you really will have nobody to blame but yourself. Sorry to be harsh but I think a lil shock in you is what is needed.

MD with all due respect, you sound like the guy who has the winning lottery ticket in his hands and your thinking about double or nothing

Walk away

This board is filled with stories of guys being entrapped, and now they are hooked with her for a lifetime. I know you think you got her figured out, but what you might not see is she is an expert on manipulation. It is what she does and believe me if you ring her up again, she has some plans for you...and next time she may not let you walk away...

Think about it MD. You walked away. An HPD HATES being dumped. They have huge abandonment issues and to them it is like a death. In her eyes you have tortured her, and bet your bottom dollar revenge is on her twisted mind. She knows your soft spots better than you. Trust me on that one. She is a master at reading people

You want challenges? Hit the gym, get a degree, push yourself at work, join a sportleague, get the band back together...anything MD but to crawl back into the ring with that creature

You say you read these boards...I hope your reading this

Be good to yourself and stay away from her

Yep, you guys have helped make my decision. I'm going to let it go. I didnt realize how lucky I was to come out of this relatively unscathed. Stalking charges? Role reversals? Damn these chicks are super ruthless. The funny thing is I bet the one I know is only pushing an 80 IQ on a good day. WTF?

MD wrote:Yep, you guys have helped make my decision. I'm going to let it go.

While everyone is different and needs to make a decision based on what they consider best for any given situation, I think the one you've made is correct. The only difference to such a decision (on my part) would to make it less of "let it go" and more towards "run away as fast as you can and never, ever look back."

MD wrote: The funny thing is I bet the one I know is only pushing an 80 IQ on a good day. WTF?

IQ tests measure in the realm of details. HPD avoids details their whole life as they have proved unnecessary and actually damaging to their detachment from reality and morals. No, I think that if a test could be drawn up for the intelligence of someone's level of skill toward manipulation, you might be looking at something more like 140-150.

The girl I was involved with would actually say things like, "Man, just keep simple," and "you're making it too complicated." Or give up at easy tasks with a, "can you help, i've never been able to do this." To which I would elicit anger by saying, "Yeah, I see you never will be able to either, huh?" It was actually a threat to her to hear that she is smarter than what she acts like and to quit downing your own abilities. But, if they get smart or skilled, there would be much less reason to be taken care of.

Chaosanity wrote: It was actually a threat to her to hear that she is smarter than what she acts like and to quit downing your own abilities. But, if they get smart or skilled, there would be much less reason to be taken care of.

Yet another parallel to my own experience with the HPD.

It also kind of reminds me of what my old grandmother would sometimes say about certain people: "She's dumb in the right way."