HPD Stare?

I keep reading in old posts about a blank look or HPD Stare that many with this disorder have. And there was rumored a good picture of it. Anyone know anything about this?

Sir*Lingam

With the (not so wonderful) benefit of hindsight, I recall seeing it quite often - in the natural course of things, but sometimes even in photographs. I've gotten rid of all the photos of the HPD I was involved with, so I can't show an example of it.
Difficult for me to describe. I wouldn't say it was like someone who in the middle of a thought process 'freezes' - I viewed it more (as bizarre as it may sound) like a moment in which something was being calculated, with faint regard to where the person was or who was present.

There is a stare but if you look closely it has a hollow quality. How ironic considering they say the eyes are the windows to the soul

check this out, especially Angelie Jolie...Girl Interrupted was no stretch for her

http://stargods.org/ReptilianStare.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4ca-3-7 ... re=related

vampires do this as well

Looking back and since my soon to be ex has only been gone a few weeks I can remember 2 different stares that I would see her use:

1) This one I remember her using all the time. It was a term I would ask her ("Are you scrubsing out again?", From the show Scrubs, the intern would go and think about different things and the show would kick over to him daydreaming about his fears) and almost every time that I asked, she was thinking of some wierd $#%^ that had no bearing on the moment. She would have this blank stare like on the movie "Click"? Where Adam Sandler's soul and mind were somewhere else living and experiencing different things while the wife was left there by herself? That is what she did all the freeking time. Not just once in a while, but all the time. Even when I would be talking about something serious, I would look over and see this body of someone I was with, ignoring me, off probably thinking about who the hell knows what. I always had this feeling that I couldn't keep her attention long enough to make me feel like she cared about what I was saying! Towards the end, I stopped asking because I felt that if she wouldn't pay attention then f*** it! I would just stop talking and then a few seconds she would come back to her body and realise that I wasn't talking and ask, "why did you stop talking", I would just look at her like, your joking right?

2) This one? Wow! This one cut me to the bone. When I think about it, I always felt something wasn't right. She would do mean or thoughtless things and we would be fighting. I would explain to her how she hurt me and try to explain how I felt about it from my soul. Nothing was left out because I never wanted her to do it again! I never wanted to feel that way again! I would go into GREAT detail of how she was hurting me and what her actions were proving. I would get done speaking and look at her, she would have the look of disconnection, like she had no idea what the hell I was talking about. In the midst of a few fights, she would look at me with fake tears in her eyes and say" I want to love you, I want to feel what I've done to you, but I just don't", I would crumble in fear because she would just stare and wait for me to react? I stopped afetr learning she had hpd, nothing for her to go off of!!!! I felt like I was pouring my heart out to someone that I loved and nothing, nothing? Just a blank stare most of the time!

Imagine somebody talking to you about something you had no idea about, you kinda just look at them listening, but no feeling is attached because it isn't your thing, maybe a look of ok, you don't feel the same connection as the person telling you while they are using hand gesture and talking fast and you can tell they are really into it? That is the second stare, the hpd just isn't into what you saying! She is thinking about what she wants, too busy to listen now kind of thing? Who knows?

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At the same time, this stare was the deal breaker for me after I learned that she had hpd. I came back from a bear hunting trip in WV and she had done some stuff that we talked about and she wasn't going to do it because it was stupid and we both agreed.

Well, she did it anyway and I was freeking out because I had to get rid of her to save myself! I cried and cried and cried to her trying to make her understand what she was putting me through, like 4 hours of crying and talking! She just starred at me because she had no clue how to connect with me on what I was feeling. She got that stare and I freeked, I cried so hard I lost my breath! I then found out that she had no feelings and no soul! The stare is such a give away. Its like the hpd if bored has to wonder about what is going on and can't control their mind so they let it wonder. Or they are wondering what the hell to do to secure supply? I have no idea and would love to really know for sure! However, everytime that I asked my wife, I know she was so good at lieing that she would say stupid stuff to knock me off coarse while what she really was doing was thinking about guys, the past relationships and what to do next to make me happy! Oh the stare? How could I forget that? I never will!!!!

Oh, I will also point out that I would see the 1st stare when I would mispronounce words and when she would see that I mispelled something while writing.

I play cards and that was a tell of her motives and deep beliefs? Speech and proper word usage are the staple of good deads? I don't know? Somehow it validates a wasted life?

I had fun with this one and still do on this site. People with hpd are highly sensitive to words and word spelling.

It turns them off and cuases a twitch in the hpd's mind and eye. I think it works for the npd also. The post "Can HPD be useful in life?", a npd stated that he felt superior because he thought he had a better vocabulary and word usage that others on this forum? Too funny!

See how the word dead is mispelled and cuase also. It should be deeds and cause. It drives them crazy and is an instant turn off. I wonder if the hpd/npd uses this as a tool to size us up. My ex is in publishing and would brag about being a word nazi? How funny, while being a total mess in every other part of her life!

The Stare!!! Its like they look at you like a object...not a human...it is the most bizarre thing ever...you can see the actor is gone and only a empty person. Nothing you say will even register with a HPD....NOTHING!!! This happens when they are done with you!!!

creepy cause:

1) i've seen it at the most inappropriate times....nothing.....at all

2) a spark of thought about the reptillian stuff came to me about 1 hour before i read that post. Felt like I was being punished almost for being interested in the truth at all levels and digging to find it. I wasn't going to bring it up though! lol

I think about 99% of an HPD's existence is an act-a facade-a script. When they have those rare moments when they forget the lines, you see the stare. When you see that, there's no one home. Of course, there never is anyone home, but there usually looks like there is because of the act.

Another time you can see the stare is those rare moments when they themselves are aware of their unacceptable side, their "badness"- then they drop the sweet routine and you only see the cold hate that's underneath. (Maybe those moments are the same as the forgot-the-lines moments?)

411, I loved what you said about their sensitivity to words. My HPD also did that- he could get so caught up in the exact words I used to express something that he would absolutely refuse to consider the meaning behind the words. I could rephrase and explain endlessly, but once he fixated on a particular group of words it was hopeless. He would even insist that he knew what I meant and I didn't because of the words I used!! (This is especially funny, given that they can't write or speak a coherent paragraph.)

My HPD sis-in-law gets this look/stare on her face when she's in the midst of getting caught in her lies. She looks at you and her eye's get really big and she kind of leans back and brings her shoulders up. Her mouth goes into this fake, weird kind of frozen smile and she just stares at you with this empty look- it is the craziest thing! Kind of like "Oh god, they caught me!! Maybe if I stand here and smile and be really quiet it'll be okay!"

Then she also does this "head bob" thing, as my brother calls it. bounces her head off of each shoulder. Always when she's in the midst of telling her wild stories and she can tell that people are about to call her on something. It's like a nervous reaction or something.

Seems like this stare is right at the heart of the problem.

Has anyone got what they believe is an honest answer of what is going on in the mind while this is taking place?

Maybe there is no answer. Maybe the brain is doing its own thing at that moment. Reclassifying information and turning things around as a deep entrenched coping mechanism.

I don't know if I want to keep thinking about it. It is perhaps the scariest thing of all. Seeing a person that goes offline for periods is weird, but knowing what that same person is capable of makes it downright chilling. I used to think it was just over analyzing and timidity. Now I don't have any idea.

Maybe it is exactly what it is. The emptiness that you see is the emptiness that they live with when there is no supply. They don't know who they are, what they think, just like we don't know who they are or what to think about them.

Maybe it's the visual definition of the essence behind the action.