by VeritasCE » Tue May 01, 2018 11:43 pm
This is an interesting topic. However, despite a few HPDI interventions it is unfortunately dominated by NON input. The absence of NON<>HPDI dialogue focus on any topic is counterproductive to some degree.
HPDI input dominance is undesirable because despite conscious focus on sincerity there is a strong risk for a resonance of explanations to a topic at hand located on the more more "poetic" side of the reality spectrum (due to the deleterious combination, for such a task, of several HPD traits).
and
NON input dominance is undesirable because among NONs who have been emotionally harmed by HPDIs there is a high probability of consensus on explanations projecting "evil" on HPDIs (mirroring the deep intensity of the pain they experienced, which I can entirely relate to with all my being, but which is not productive if you want to see Truth, and instead of abandonning them to their destructive misery, decide fight despite the pain and attempt to repair the person you fell in love with a long time ago).
If more people with HPD traits would like to give their version of what they think is really going on for them / in their heads when others see these 3 stares in them, it probably would be very useful to many.
From my attempt to combine the different inputs herein I've come to formulate the temporary hypothesis that the stare moment is a moment of complete emotional void (like the moment of calm after a storm, or the short instant preceeding a huge battle with almost certain death), like a combination of (a) the reptilian fight-or-flight instinct in a situation when flight is impossible, together with (b) higher level cognition; the quasi inner peace / freedom to know that no more emotions are necessary because the probability that their presence will change anything for the good has fallen to 0. In its ultimate version, perhaps what a phoenix would feel if comming to the conclusion that after all the effort, the world is ending. Like you felt yourselves, maybe, at the moment you "abandonned" the idea of your HPD, ... after all the deceit, all the lies, and all the pain. But perhaps this is just a feeling entirely, just a moment. Perhaps that the "vengeance" and "punishment" and stuff aren't intrinsically linked to the moment and depend on the HPD's character and on the circumstances. Perhaps it's still possible (with some time delay) to catch your HPD at that ultimate moment before she falls into the abyss of further desolation away from this one. Perhaps this ultimate stare is just what follows a fear-of-death-without-the-fear kind of emptiness due to the HPD having no capacity to see how the world could continue: They lack some tools to understand that there is a way out, that it is possible to learn to understand, possible to fight and clear all the mess and pain they have built up (if they are anything like young children they can't really fight for their lives, they can only flee, and so if they cannot flee, well... there is this void). Maybe the HPD is like an abandonned child at that ultimate moment. The world has ended... And they are just floating eyes open in the void at the end it this world and at the start of another?
People with HPD traits are welcome to comment if any of it could be accurate?
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