hpd/npd

MYWAVE WROYE: When they flip over to the devaluing process, this is where we see the NPD in them come to full bloom. This is when the HPD mask comes off and you see maybe even for the first titme, that the relationship was all about them. They were only in it for themselves from the beginning, and it is at the ending where we fully see it. This is where our own intuition taps us on the back as if to say 'see this is what I have been warning you about the whole time'


Sorry guys I had too post!

My god...you are 100% right... you see the true person once the leave ...the NPD COMES OUT IN FULL FORCE and you then realize that the whole relationship was an ACT...mywave your post gave me chills...My family and I were just discussing what you said before I read your post.

you DONT really see the NPD until they leave(the mask comes off) and it is the most bizarre thing to ever see. They devalue you like you are the scum of the earth....and at that point you realize that your were just a source of supply to keep them entertained. Its at that point you realize you were scammed and no matter what you do too get a reaction from them they look at you like an object NOT A PERSON.
However at that time is when you see they are just a shell of a person with no inner core. Its so scary that you wonder how you ever laid next too them at night and why you are not DEAD!

The disconnection they have you only read about in books...you realize they dont have a soul or a inner core...its like they are the devils walking amongst us!! So charming, so beautiful, so intelligent...then once you take a bite of the apple you forever are
affected!!!




We all must realize that we were NEVER loved, we were NEVER understood. All we were too HPD people were a fix for them too see if they could conquer us! Once we were in love...the game was
over for them....and they feel powerfull and happy that they destroyed us....SICK SICK SICK!

NOT ALL BAD GFs/WIVES HAVE HPD/NPD!!!

cmj85 wrote:However at that time is when you see they are just a shell of a person with no inner core. Its so scary that you wonder how you ever laid next too them at night and why you are not DEAD!

Near the end this is the exact thought I had at night. When we were together and I thought we were good, I would catch her trying to play with me when I slept. It was then I realized that she was really into control and it started me on a quest which finally led to her diagnosis. When things became visibly strained I could sense the desperation in her. In the last 4 weeks or so before I escaped I really was actually bona fide scared to sleep! Call me paranoid, but my gut was telling me the whole time DANGER...

Well I did leave and when I saw her show up at my work a few days later, I told myself right then and there to never not listen to my gut again. I am serious when I say she looked possessed. To think I actually almost told her I was leaving...I am so glad I just packed and left. I think it is the only true safe way to exit


Hey glad to see you back

cmj85 wrote:
you DONT really see the NPD until they leave(the mask comes off) and it is the most bizarre thing to ever see. They devalue you like you are the scum of the earth....and at that point you realize that your were just a source of supply to keep them entertained. Its at that point you realize you were scammed and no matter what you do too get a reaction from them they look at you like an object NOT A PERSON.

The part of your post I've highlighted - when I had that same realization it was one of the key moments for me. Two things happened.
First of all it was a real blow to me - that after everything I had put into the relationship and all the care I'd shown, she'd never even viewed me as a human being.
But soon after that the same awakening made her appear much smaller - and so her influence and importance started to diminish.


Anyway, glad to hear you're with your family. Time will pass (albeit slowly) you'll continue to deal with this, and eventually you'll get to where you want to be.

cm,

This web-site has helped me understand......"The Big Switch"

In my case we thought we would get in todays dollars, $ 10,000
from my folks upon marriage......well they learned of her reputation , and we got nothing........

She dumped me immediately, and found a new guy............
Without even a real discussion or a goodbye,

She dumped me on the honeymoon!

But after all these years......... I'm actually glad!!!!!!!!!

I'm glad I got an HPD/NPD removed from my life!

My life would have been a waste with her.........

Mine was crazier than Sybil................

So it was for the best............

cmj85 wrote:

Sorry guys I had too post!

You have nothing to be sorry for. Heck, I wouldn't stop posting if I were you. It helps to see it and talk about it. After so long of the devalue process we endured, I could see why you might feel guilty for posting after saying you wouldn't. I'm glad you are though. You helped me kinda see where I was heading in my relationship. It was just a matter of time. If I tried to walk away from this site and not meet people sharing their stories and not making me feel normal, I wouldn't be normal. I would post and vent cmj85, get it off your chest, I'm doing it to. My hpd ex would have sent me into a wirlwind spiral down if I didn't find you guys and this sight. For that, I thank each and everyone of you from the bottum of my heart(crying while writting), I thought I was going crazy. I thought that I was loosing hope? Thank you all for listening and sharing!!!!!

Panama wrote:

Near the end this is the exact thought I had at night. When we were together and I thought we were good, I would catch her trying to play with me when I slept. It was then I realized that she was really into control and it started me on a quest which finally led to her diagnosis. When things became visibly strained I could sense the desperation in her. In the last 4 weeks or so before I escaped I really was actually bona fide scared to sleep! Call me paranoid, but my gut was telling me the whole time DANGER...

I felt this too. My wife and I went to wedding in Philly and a guy pulled her into the dance floor and was grinding on her in front of everyone(her family). She told me minutes before this that she didn't know how to act around her family with me there. I was already going to the wedding feeling like I didn't belong. I felt sick watching it and did nothing. She loved it, me and her were talking and this drunk guy pulls her by her hand in on the dance floor in front of all of her family, oh but she tried to justify by saying it was her cousins husband? I married the slut of the family? She Loved It!!!! After she did this to me she acted mad because I left and acted #######5 towards her. I went off on her back at the hotel room!!! I never could sleep after that. Since Jan. of 2008 I never got a good nights sleep. I would wake up in the middle of the night or not go to sleep until 3:00 in the morning. She has been gone since last Sat. morning and I sleep good and get up on my own just fine!! So I can relate to the no sleeping thing. I always felt like I couldn't let my guard down for some reason, like whats next. My mind was telling me to JUMP DUMBASS!!!!!! I'm glad my body caught up 10 months later!!!

Where is MyWave's post? Link please?

also - can someone describe what the "devaluing process" is, and does it only occur when HPD is leaving or defensive?

thanks!

Tanquery
The post you are looking for is the"She talked to me like I was a stranger", page 2, on the bottum

I would read the whole post though because it is pretty good. Has alot of details and stuff you might hear?