Is there a thin line between HPD and slut?

I find it difficult to have a conversation with a male peer without trying to make them want to &$% me? i always put it down to being promisuos and slutty but have recenty been diagnosed as HPD. i picture them undressing me and i give them the eyes etc....i cant seem to stop!! anyone else have this problem...i even do this to my partners relations and friends and its not that i fancy them or want them to fancy me....i just assume (hope) that they do....i am also the most shallow GF ever....i compare myself to every female going and beg for him to validate me...validating him frequently in return.....i really love this person and i dont just think it is a control thing or that the relationship is superficial or about trying to up my self esteem....but some of the traits associated with HPD make me the worlds worse GF.....will i always be a slut?

Does your boyfriend know of your diagnosis? Does he know of your flirtations and intentions of other men?

You should show him this forum and let him read the stories and decide for himself. You say you love him and in my opinion showing this board would be the most loving thing you can do for him.

I wish you good luck

incidentally, he was the one who agreed i had HPD... i dont have intentions with other men...thats the point!!!!!!!!its all about attention and a self esteem boost...i havent cheated on him and dont intend to...or ever flirted with a guy enough for him to think he could have me kind of thing...had you of known earlier in your relationship that your ex was hpd would you have left her....or is it just that she was someone with hpd who was also mean or was her meaness due to her hpd....(sorry that doesnt make much grammatical sense...you may have to reread the last sentance lol)

HPD and sluts are different. Not to say that people with hpd don't act like sluts because they do sometimes, not all but most do. You could be a sex addict or borderline. No one can answer this for you. You have to be seen by a doctor. Answer the questions as truthful as you can, make sure the doctor is a female so that you don't lie and try to impress him. Be real.....................

The only thing that makes me wonder if you have this is your grammer and sentence structure. Usually someone with hpd is very clean cut with word use and would have corrected the first statement you have made before posting. An hpd will not try and look sloppy in the world of words or word use. My ex was in publishing and TTC is also in publishing. I believe they enjoy the books and the power of words as objects? I dunno? Words use is critical to most hpd type people. You also mispelled a word or two. Nothing at all wrong with that by the way, I do it all the time. An hpd will not if anything can help it.

I would see a doctor first. Better to be safe that sorry!!!

i just left an HPD relationship. Looking forward i would not date that personality again. My ex wife was HPD as well... apparently i love the front end, but can't hang for the entirety. i would stay in a relationship with an hpd if it was being moderated and handled thru therapy.

in my case the drama, devaluing, emotional shifts and shadiness with other guys became way to taxing. i have a lot of career and family responsibilities and the "job" of serving her attention needs & policing her questionable behavior took any positives out of the relationship.

i like a challenge & don't mind flirting etc... when it gets over the top is where it becomes dysfunctional. Knowing that my whole life could be turned inside out on a whim was pretty much the end for me.

I'm dysfunctional as well. experienced & moderated over time, but i get the whole process. it's unfortunate, but it's also reality. I hope my most recent partner can stay with counseling and come to terms with it. She's beautiful, talented, smart & fun... her potential is off the charts... a woman any man could only dream of.

In reality what i have dealt with is a shallow, cruel, manipulative soul that is very close to seeing rock bottom. i hurt for her, but i'm happy i no longer have to hurt for me.

Ahhh, dude you too?
I just left my wife, well made her leave MY HOUSE! Didn't we email back and forth about the mom's we grew up with and co depency stuff? Anyway, sorry to hear it man. It is probably for the best though......... How long has it been?

411needed:

Don't think it was me, but i can guess how it went... my mother is hpd. infidelity & discard/devalue weren't the issues, but the childish behavior, drama, self absorbed, shallow piece was.

i can't seem to find an interest in "normal" women. it's only been a couple of days out of this most recent deal. this time it was easy... almost too easy. having been educated by pain & data on the hpd "program" i was two steps ahead of everything. combination of being numb & preparing subconciously. Relief & dissapointment are my emotions vs anger & depression.

i'm actually having to help my hpd ex gf thru it... she has no clue what's going on. it's the first long termer who has ever reacted this way to her. for all the people i have screwed up & for all the mental lashing i gave her in the last two months i feel like its my duty.

the insanity of it is that i have been calling her friends to make sure she's okay, tipped her mother onto her need for a "check in" call, packed for her & set up her moving plans, kept her cat... you name it. Granted i wanted her out, but i did this with her feelings in mind.

Two days after saying i was done she was supposed to stay with a friend. She lied and hooked up an overnight with a guy.

Guess who is mad & wants revenge for the post separation inappropriate behaviors? Yep Ms HPD.

Poor souls just don't get it.

i wish they could be helped... would've made a lot of difference in my life and too many others.