Current boyfriends has HPD (i think)

and i am asking advice on all our parts, i never gave the impression i was a selfless individual concerned witht the wellbeing of one affected by HPD (MY boyfriend), i dont want to be hurt. there are selfish motives behind this and i never said otherwise.

Hi, Cluedo.

I gave you my advice. Take it or leave it.

Try to have a good time.

cluedo,

I'm sure that you are frustrated with both your boyfriend and his ex, but you've got to do us a favor and relax for a moment. Most of us came here with issues as well and while not everyone is particularly friendly, it would do you well to listen.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to do something for your own reasons, however when it involves another person you should realize that they have their own self centered desires. Your boyfriend isn't texting his ex because he is bored to death, he probably enjoys it. If you're trying to save him for his own good, which does not sound like the case, you must be willing to risk your relationship.

Unfortunately, getting out of this situation without a concerted effort on his part will most likely end your relationship. I'd try playing the honesty card. Just let him know in your own, assertive way that you are in a relationship with him, not him and his ex. Hopefully this will get the ball rolling in the direction you would like without making it sound like you're some jealous attention whore. You're going to have to tread lightly, especially if his ex still has her claws in him but either way you'll both be better off the sooner you speak up. And remember, focus on "us" not yourself.

-hystrio

hystrio

yeah, i didnt know what to expect by posting my situation up so i got a bit worked up when the only advice i was given was 'its hopeless- dump him' fair advice....i guess...but not a path im willinng to take right now.
as for your reply, i suppose its what i already now but it does me well to hear it from someone else so im not secod-guessing my forthcoming actions re- the situation.

thanks

cluedo wrote:hystrio

yeah, i didnt know what to expect by posting my situation up so i got a bit worked up when the only advice i was given was 'its hopeless- dump him' fair advice....i guess...but not a path im willinng to take right now.
as for your reply, i suppose its what i already now but it does me well to hear it from someone else so im not secod-guessing my forthcoming actions re- the situation.

thanks

Hi again, Cluedo.

I knew from the beginning you weren't going to accept the advice I gave ... which is normal and understandable.

It is not easy to give up the people we love and care about. But despite this, what I gave you was a very good advice that needs to be taken seriously. Go ahead ... let him know how much he's been disrespecting you (while staying calm but assertive) and threaten to end the relationship if he shows he is not willing to agree to your terms (assuming your terms are fair for both you and him).

Yes, you have to be willing to dump him in case it doesn't work out. I did it with a person I loved (and still love) and so can you. It's for the better, anyway.