New boyfriend- I suspect he's histrionic- HELP!

I've just started seeing this guy for the past 2 weeks. On our first date, he was extremely intense. We had been drinking, by the way. He kept telling me how beautiful I am and we delved deep into each others' emotions. I went along because I thought he was very attractive and sweet. We made out and he came back to my place because I didn't want him to drive home drunk. I told him strictly no sex, but he was pressuring me all night. We didn't have sex, but it was like trying to peel off a leech.

We saw each other every day that week and he revealed a lot of information about himself. He told me he's had upwards of 30 sexual partners (intercourse only and he's only 21 years old) and many more that were not intercourse. He explained that he is a very sexual person and wanted to know if I got jealous around other girls. He told me he has cheated on both of his past serious girlfriends. Then he kept telling me how special I am and how I'm different. I know he is very close to popping the 'L' word.

It wasn't until we went to a party together that I saw him in full action. He was all over every girl at the party. He was touching their breasts, rubbing their butts etc. He was extremely loud and rambunctious. He always seems to want to be the center of attention. On top of this he has a theatrical background (drama student) and his mood changes constantly.

I know it sounds like I should be running extremely fast in the opposite direction, but for whatever reason, I really like this guy. I get butterflies when I'm with him and I think I'm falling for him. I have explained that I don't think his behavior is acceptable if he wants to be in a relationship with me. He got very defensive.

My question is, is this guy going to get up and leave me if something better comes along? Or is he likely to stick around? If he does stick around, am I going to get my heart broken?

emerald,

Sounds a lot like my ex wife. I thought she would see that i really loved her, and she would settle down...........NO, never.....
She is not wired for "marriage".........she wants every "hot" man in the world........

Reread your post objectively, as if you were a third party reading it for the first time. He has given you all the information you need. You should be only thinking about protecting yourself from the misery and heartache that falling for this guy would bring. Run, don't walk.

My advice would be to run and don't look back. Read these boards and you will see as time goes on it only gets worse...

You deserve to be with someone who really loves you...not with someone who uses you as a source of supply...

Be good to yourself
MW

This guy is an expert at making you wanna stay with him.

You already know the answer to your questions.
You just don't want to believe it, or accept it.
That's the place I'd start. These would be my questions to myself:
"After I saw him in action with other women, why do I still want to be with him? Why am I on this board trying to get validation to stay? Why would I want to be with a man who behaves this way with me?"
You might want to focus on those questions.

LifeSong wrote:You already know the answer to your questions.
You just don't want to believe it, or accept it.
That's the place I'd start. These would be my questions to myself:
"After I saw him in action with other women, why do I still want to be with him? Why am I on this board trying to get validation to stay? Why would I want to be with a man who behaves this way with me?"
You might want to focus on those questions.

That’s called temptation. I knew and had gut feelings that’s what I am doing is not quite all right; she (my ex-h) is not what I really want and somehow I got lured in. You are right, she sees it but she does want to accept it. Time to burn “your fingers Emerald?”; but mark my words, it will be much more painful when you’ll face aftermath.

It seems to me as if he's laying all of his cards on the table, including the disclosure of infidelity, so that if you do stay together and you question him on his behaviour, he can say, 'Well, you knew what I was like.'

It's very telling that when you reinforced your boundaries, he became very defensive.

For me, there are warning signs all over your post but ultimately you have to do what is right for you. But, in my opinion, you are simply his current prey and the chances of you getting your heart broken are very high.

To answer your question, yes, he may up and leave you the minute he thinks that something better has come or along OR, he will rope you in further and further until you won't be able to get rid of him even if you want to - as in, stalker.

His behaviour is full of red flags for him being a controlling and abusive partner. The disclosure of inappropriate personal emotions including the premature popping of the L word all indicate that he has internal emotional needs that require being filled and none of them are about you as a person. He just needs someone, anyone, to fill his void. You'd be best off it that someone was not you.

Good luck.

The scarier question is, what if he doesn't leave you?

If you stay with him, say goodbye to your self-esteem. If you're honest with yourself, you know that you've already compromised your principles and it's only been 2 weeks. The more attached you get, the more misery you're in for.

Even though it would be hard to leave now, it will only get harder the longer you stay. He won't get better- only worse. Sorry, but that's the sad truth.