She was everything to me for 7 years

by **vodka0629** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:22 am

they love new people, new soul...

they do not want long life relationship

they are vampire T-T

I feel terrible. Its been 5 months now.
Want to cry, feel depressed, have pent up energy but feel knackered.

She contacted me again wanting her equity from our flat.
I tried to get her to come home. She calmly gave me reasons why it was MY fault we split.

I tried so hard to make it work, she cant see it, wont see it.

I'm worried about my mental health.
I want to end it - but don't have the guts.

I know she withdrew and didn't love me for years. Wish I could improve. I feel my life is over.

by **A little Wisernow** » Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:22 am

SHE'S NOT WORTH IT!

sHE'S NOT WORTH ANY FURTHUR MISERY

PUT HER IN THE PROPER PERSPECTIVE................

She is not worthy of any more of your love/ or any thing else.........

SHE'S NOT WORTH IT !!!!

by **mindful** » Wed Jun 11, 2008 11:35 am

Oh, Miko,

try to think of her as a drug - an addictin - a totally exciting high, that's left you down lower than you were before you had the experience.

The experience gave you sensations you wouldn't have had otherwise, but like with other drugs, the price to pay for getting hooked on her is high.

Detox is the only way out.

Do what you have to to break all contact and then slowly, kindly, give yourself time to heal! When you miss her and want to ask her back, read ALL the past threads on this board. Write the ways in which she has hurt and disappointed you.

Then write down the more subtle, dependable, healthy things that you enjoy and make you feel good. Resort to that list whenever you need to. And add to it.

Be gentle. Take care of yourself, physically, and spend time with others. Take up a new hobby, project. Redecorate. Take a cooking course, start a new sport. Look forward, Be proud of yourself for the newfound wisdom, as it continues to infuse you.

by **miko22** » Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:12 pm

Thanks guys

What an outburst.
Sorry about that.

Wise words - I'll get myself back.
I've broken 2 hearts + had mine broken twice.

At least we all just came out with it by saying 'I don't love you any more.'

blaming me hurts - it induces a panicky self blaming feeling like if you'd mislaid your winning lottery ticket. I think its just to justify her actions.

Besides that analogy breaks down because I don't think it would have been a lottery winning lifestyle with her. Least not emotionally, physically.

Thanks again guys - its nice to know someone gives a monkeys.

by **walking** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 3:59 am

miko22 wrote:
Its been almost 5months now, I'm still moving through the grief.

If you were in love with her as you're saying it'll take 12 month "miko" at least, than you will start hate her, and than you might become unhooked, and completely will ignore her

When I first met her I wasn't sure if I fancied her - Bizzare because once I was in love (after about 2 months) + for the rest of that seven years I never saw anyone that I fancied more.

That's how they got us all, so you are not the only one; it's just illusion so you better get it out of your mind, it was just a game and you were part of it without knowing

How do I get unhooked?

No contact zone!!!!

How to find other women attractive !??!!!

It'll take time; time will heal all your wounds and one day you find out you are back to normal. Hang in there.

Good luck!

by **Sledge** » Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:40 pm

ccumm36D wrote:This kind of tale is all too often the case when a guy gets ensnared with a HPD.

The HPD has such a predilection for manipulation and it is fluid and dynamic, it is constant and unrelenting. The HPD does so with no effort on their part. The victim sees someone that is behaving consistantly at all times. This has the effect of triggering the victims empathy and causing the more normal/healthy person to second guess themselves. This is just the effect that the HPD is looking for. The HPD sets the bar and the victim tries to reach it but never will.

It's this dynamic that allows the HPD to perpetually claim to be the victim.

This is so true and what mine always did. It messed with my mind all the time because I filled in the blanks and she loved it. Its called control and manipulation too !

Mine would say things like...

"If you loved me you'd (fill in the blank)"...

"If you really loved me you wouldn't (fill in the blank)...

The HPD has learned over the years which buttons work and which ones don't... the more impressionistic, the more vague the better. It allows the victim/target person's own imagination to fill in the blanks. And that's always worse than reality.[/quote

]

by **tulsi160** » Wed Jul 23, 2008 12:49 pm

yes after 2 years i kinda just getting over the girl i really liked cus she was treating me horrible for the last 9 months, and pushing me away because she couldnt resist other boys, but she could resist me too much but for some reason she just used me like her counsler everynight, and told me it was none of my buisness when i got hurt over other guys she really wanted to be with

She was everything to me for 7 years

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