Do I have HPD?

Ok, while trying to convince my mother that she has boderline personality disorder (She fits it to a tee) I came across information on Histrionic Personality disorder. As soon as I read the name I recalled a conversation with my husband where he said "Have you ever heard of Histrionic personality disorder?" I didn't think anything of it at the time, but after reading the symptoms I think he may have been asking for a reason.

Here are some things I have noticed or been told about myself that make me suspect...

1. I am very loud. My entire life I have been told that I have a loud speaking voice. My husband jokes that I "have NO inside voice".

2. In highschool I had a lot of sexual partners. Many of them, I was not interested in but I loved the attention, and the thought of them 'wanting me'.

3. I tend to be a flirt, although I have no intentions on 'hooking up' with the people I flirt with.

4. I am VERY sexual. I act in a seductive way to get attention. (especially with my husband.)

5. I know that I am manipulative. There are too many examples to list, but trust me, I am. and I know that I am being manipulative while it is happening.

6. I have been called a 'drama queen' my entire life. I have been told that I should go into acting because of this.

7. I do not respond well to criticism EVER. I take it very personally. I get very upset and then hubby gets upset and then it turns into a huge fight where he is saying I am overly defensive and I am screaming and crying that he is an a**hole.

8. I am a story teller. I always want to be the person telling the story, if my friends are trying to tell a story of something that happened, I will often say "Can I please tell her the story?" and they usually let me. I want to be the one with 'breaking news' or the newest gossip.

9. I really really need approval of those close to me.

10. I have had a pattern in relationships where I would fall head over heels in love with someone that wasn't nice, or didn't seem to want me the same way... then get them into a relationship... then lose interest when they have feelings for me. Stay with them until I found a replacement, then left them and started the cycle over with the new person. I almost ruined my current marriage because I felt that my husband was mistreating me (He will acknowledge that he was very mean to me verbally but says he was just frustrated with me). I had an affair with someone that was full of compliments and treated me like I was the best thing in the world. I was going to leave my husband for the new guy but my husband begged me not to and told me how much he loves me etc. I broke off the affair and stayed with hubby. Of course we had a hard time getting past this, he was very hurt. But anytime he would lash out at me for having an affair I was quick to lash out at him that it was his fault for treating me bad. I have within the past year realized how wrong I was and how wonderful my husband is. I now take full responsibility for my actions and I know that it was not my husbands fault. There is no excuse for adultry.

As a teenager sometimes as an adult, I self mutilated (cutting) because I would get depressed and it would be like a release. I can't really explain it but I actually 'liked it'. but I wanted someone else to know, so I told close friends, boyfriends etc. I'm thinking now that it is possible that I was attention seeking.

Does anyone know what tends to correlate with HPD? Like for instance I was molested as a child, I watched my mother get severely abused by my step father. My mother has been hospitalized on 3 occasions to the mental hospital due to being suicidal. Her official diagnoses is clinical depression, but like I said above... Boderline personality fits her to a tee. Do personality disorders tend to run in families? Also is anxiety related to HPD? I have severe anxiety/panic attacks.

Thanks for making it this far. I am just freaking a bit because I never thought of myself as having a 'disorder'. I mean I knew I had issues but doesnt' everybody?

How does someone get over Histrionic personality disorder? Is it possible to change your personality??? or do you just have to try hard to break these behaviors?

Well, you certainly seem to have the traits. Self-mutilation is associated with borderline more than histrionic PD. Both are cluster B (attention seeking and emotional) disorders and can be comorbid. They tend to occur more often in first degree relatives, probably due to both genetic and environmental etiologies, although it is not known precisely. Studies have suggested slight physical differences in the frontal lobes of patients with these disorders. It's is also widely believed that insufficient nurturing or disruption of the mother/infant bond prior to age two is one of the causes. The child being unable to resolve the needs prevalent in that stage and move into the next ends up being compelled to try and resolve these needs throughout her life. This also affects progression through subsequent stages. This is the time when a child is completely dependent, self-focused and has not yet developed a sense of self independent of the mother, yet has learned to manipulate to get her needs met. Yes, molestation is thought to be on that list as well, but also connected with many other disorders. If your mother is indeed borderline then you may have inherited genetic predisposition as well as had bonding difficulties due to her issues. The mother looks to the child to satisfy her own needs and is unable to provide love and affection unconditionally to the child. By definition personality disorders are pervasive. While you can learn to modify thinking, feeling and behaviors, you can't really change the hard-wiring or early experiences. It seems that learning creates new pathways in the brain, but you can't really delete the old pathways––you just have to keep choosing the new path. Therapy can help if the patient is cooperative and invested, however, the HPD pattern is to sabotage therapy, projecting anger, blame and frustration onto the therapist, convincing themselves they're smarter than the therapist, or attempting to manipulate the therapist through seduction. HPDs tend to not accept responsibility for their actions or their lives generally, although people with HPD can be high achieving. Introspection, admission of fault and acceptance of responsibility in your post is not consistent with the HPD pattern–-the tendency would be to blame it on the husband, feel no guilt or remorse, not be empathetic as to how he would feel. Sounds like to me you're at a point where you're ready to work on it. There are varied expressions of HPD, mixtures of the cluster B, as you can see if you take time to read the posts on this forum. Nobody can tell you anything definitive based on a forum post so scheduling an appt with a therapist and being introspective would be the way to start. I wish you the best.

The simple fact that you would try to admit that you have HPD is an admission that you probably dont. HPD's will not and CANNOT admit to anything and I mean anything. In my opinion and HPD will never say they think they have it. Who knows I could be wrong but it sounds to me like youre addicted to sex or something. Go talk to a counselor.