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by **Chucky** » Fri May 23, 2008 7:57 pm

Hey,

It's very difficult to say what she has and nobody here is qualified to say either way. Also, it's very hard to diagnose someone based on a list of things he/she has said. Despite that, I will give my opinion, which is this: I don't think it sounds like she has HPD. Rather, I think it sounds like she's a 'nymphomaniac' - i.e. she's addicted to sex. Whether that is related to HPD is another question.

I knew a girl once who sounds like her. Typically, they are 'daddy's girls' and don't listen to their mother because she only tries to turn her into herself (i.e. the mother tries to turn the daughter into the mother). So, they moan to their father's who are sympathetic and end up spoiling them.

Thus, around guys, these girls think that they can get whatever they want.

Kevin.

Hi,

Well, I certainly do have experience with this type of girl because, as I have mentioned, I dated one. They aren't products of dysfunctional parents as far as I am concerned. I firmly believe that they act the way they do because their father's spoil them. They probably moan to their father whenever they want something (and the father is only too happy to get that something for them). Basically, they have their father wrapped around their little finger. They then take this attitude into relationships with guys - i.e. they think that they know you better than you know yourself.

They aren't worth being with if you want a serious relationship. If you just want casual sex, then fine. However, be aware that they have probably been with more guys than they can remember and might have a Sexually-Transmitted Disease.

Kevin.

by **Chucky** » Fri May 23, 2008 11:28 pm

Okay, I have not read every characteristic of her that you have written but, from what I have read, I don't think she is 'twisted'. I think - again - that she is just a spoilt girl. She has probably never had anything overly bad happen to her and feels that she can breeze through life taking advantage of people. I would have thought it obvious that you should stay from this girl - She's trouble.

Kevin.

by **Ohioguy1002** » Sat May 24, 2008 4:54 am

To op,

As I read your post it is very admirable of you to want to understand this woman.

Having stated that I read very little of how you are taking care of yourself.

There are to many red flags, nuclear bombs, etc going off to even remotely consider any contact with this person.

You have been labeled an abuser by her therapist and she also was advised to have no contact whatsoever with you. But she did! It does not matter at this point whether you did or did not abuse her. She went to the therapist and talked about the RELATIONSHIP she has with you. You got the abuser label, or so she says, you wrote. How many sessions did she have before this came to light.

If what you wrote is true and you did not abuse this woman then she is setting you up! Why you might ask? Because she can and probably will if you continue to have any contact her. Plain and simple.

Another poster wrote she is trouble, leave it at that, do not let her become your legal nightmare.

Do everything that is necessary to avoid this woman.

Best of Luck,

Ohioguy

by **Chucky** » Sat May 24, 2008 12:38 pm

I feel I have already exhausted my opinion on this thread, so I'll keep this short. The 'average sensible Joe' would instantly recognise her as a problem and would not entertain any of her requests. They'd just ignore her and get on with their life.

by **Ohioguy1002** » Sat May 24, 2008 9:43 pm

To Op,

I gave you my opinion based on the information you posted.

Your friends, who know you well, said she's crazy in a big way. What else do you need?

Let us for a moment change our focus from her to you. I asked you a question, how are you taking care of yourself? You did not respond to it.

Why are you obsessing over/about this person? "average sensible Joe" moves on! What is stopping you from that?

Accept her for who and what she is, but, you cannot do that either.

Labeling her having this or that disorder is pointless, it serves no purpose. Next time you pop a top on an adult beverage give her a toast wish her well. Thanks for the memories.. Accept it for what it was/is. That is how your average Joe who is sensible would react.

Then get on with your life and continue striving to be the high status guy you can be. Then start a thread on how I got over my obsession and let us know how you are doing.

Again Best of Luck,

Ohioguy

P.S. Simply change your focus from her to you. Amazing things can and will happen give it an honest try. You will be amazed!!!

by **Sledge** » Sat May 24, 2008 9:51 pm

About 85% of the things you listed are exactly how my HPD was. They are drama queens and very manipulative. They will stab you in the back without you even knowing it. Go and read some of my posts from as far back as 2 years ago about my story.

by **Ohioguy1002** » Sun May 25, 2008 3:27 am

To OP,

Your welcome. I am glad you understood my reponses to you.

These people (cluster B's) have a way of sucking it out of you.

Thank your lucky stars you weren't married and had children with her.

Question: Did you ever notice anything strange happening with her eyes when you were talking to her?

Again Best of Luck,

Ohioguy

by **Ohioguy1002** » Sun May 25, 2008 5:02 am

To OP,

Lying/deceitful look in the eyes is not what I mean.

It is more of an intense looking at/through you to a blank expression and then back into that intense looking at/through you. There was no blinking. This cycle is done in a matter of seconds. I found this to be quite unsettling the times I noticed it.

I remember reading somewhere about the "Histrionic Hypnotic Stare", however, I have been unsucessful in relocating the resource.

Below is a link to the NARC forum where they touch upon this topic a bit.

http://psychforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=26721

I am sorry to have gone off topic with this question.

Ohioguy

by **ewriter** » Sun May 25, 2008 8:10 pm

Hi maverickidaho,

the behaviours and the quotes you shared in your posts fit my ex-HPD to a T. I think, given your information, that she is HPD.

The way you post here tells me that you´re still suffering from this relationship, but now you´re starting to get answers to your questions and your real healing can start.

Yes, before dealing with a HPD you wouldn´t have imagined that such persons really exist. The "ugly" character, the excesses, the antisocial behaviour, your walk on eggshells all the time are part of a (their) disorder. From a normal, healthy perspective they are very sad people, but they don´t understand that. They live in a kind of warped space in between us.

All the best to you.

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