Tried To Remain Friends

Absolutely. They are impossible to have a meaninful relationship with anyway, so why bother?

Any time spent between your figuring out she's HPD and your finally turning your back on her for good is wasted time.

I don't like the idea of stereotyping any person under a label, but my X had all but one of the major symptoms listed on WIKI. After discussions with my PSY, it turned out she had the one I thought she did not have as well, so in fact she has them all, I just had not noticed the last one (failed suicide attempts) as blatantly as the others.

So, I would say that if the person you are trying to remain friends with has those same symptoms (check them out...they are explained very clearly) you will have difficulty. You shall be dealing with a perpetual facade, and cloak and dagger type situations. The dagger shall come out when you least expect it, just when you feel confident with the person again, so emotionally you kind of have to be looking over your shoulder all time. I would say one is interesting for them whilst one is not caught, or after one is caught and manages to get away. If they can bring you down, a second, third, fourth time and so on, they shall, they seem to get off on the manipulation and seduction involved in their chase process.

All that to say, i tried to stay friends, but could not, she kept asking me to go for lunch, but I could just feel it was going to end up in bed. She left me in such a poor emotional state that I would not have been able to handle that one more time, even though the desire was there. You have to consciously protect yourself. Even after a 14 month torrid relationship with my X, I realised she was a stranger to me and all that dealing with strangers implies.

Send her walking

Yes Musician I hear you loud and clear

Musician924 wrote:
Send her walking

I like your comments Musician, and thanks for the offer but I would rather go for a smooth ride; I had enough of rollercoaster ride. So celibate lifestile works for me right now

I got sucked in again this morning.

My Ex-HPD rings me up once again yesterday to tell me that she has met the most hottest guy who has the hottest body that she has ever seen and that she would love to ###$ him. I said, listen, I wish you all the best with this guy, but I'm just not going to answer your calls anymore now, its jus time to move on. At this point she didn't seem to care because she was occupied with her emotions with this new found lust/love.

Anyway, I go to bed last night and wake up at 3:00am in the morning and check my time on my phone to see that I have 7 missed calls from my Ex-HPD. One txt msg saying that “can you please answer your phone I'm about to ‘neck myself’” (suicide) and a voice mail message of her in crying hysterics trying to speak out the words but can't because she’s crying too much.

At this point I'm thinking $#%^ something really bad has happened because I knew her dad had fallen quite sick that week and I was worried something worse may have happened. So I give her a call but no answer. I got back to sleep and get another call later on in the morning from my Ex-HPD.

I asked what’s up with great concern, and her answer was, “the guy I liked hooked up with another girl in front of me out in the club”. (Take into consideration that my Ex-HPD had only known this guy for one day)

I'm a sucker, I know...

nicholas wrote:I got sucked in again this morning.

My Ex-HPD rings me up once again yesterday to tell me that she has met the most hottest guy who has the hottest body that she has ever seen and that she would love to ###$ him. I said, listen, I wish you all the best with this guy, but I'm just not going to answer your calls anymore now, its jus time to move on. At this point she didn't seem to care because she was occupied with her emotions with this new found lust/love.

Anyway, I go to bed last night and wake up at 3:00am in the morning and check my time on my phone to see that I have 7 missed calls from my Ex-HPD. One txt msg saying that “can you please answer your phone I'm about to ‘neck myself’” (suicide) and a voice mail message of her in crying hysterics trying to speak out the words but can't because she’s crying too much.

At this point I'm thinking $#%^ something really bad has happened because I knew her dad had fallen quite sick that week and I was worried something worse may have happened. So I give her a call but no answer. I got back to sleep and get another call later on in the morning from my Ex-HPD.

I asked what’s up with great concern, and her answer was, “the guy I liked hooked up with another girl in front of me out in the club”. (Take into consideration that my Ex-HPD had only known this guy for one day)

I'm a sucker, I know...

Your stories are very entertaining Nick. It looks like you are trying to find every possible way to stay in touch with this girl. As long as you enjoy it.............Good luck

Im glad they're entertaining, but I also post them to give people an idea of what the histrionic is like.

I guess I stay in contact because I have faith that oneday I might have a good friendship with this girl, but right now I just can't see it happening.

Hi Nick:
My recommendation to you, distance and indifference. It's my method since January 2006, and i feel much better for it. You can probably manage more the day she decides to help herself, and proves through actions that she can better manage herself, however don't hold your breath...

Good luck Nick, Musician

Musician924 wrote:All that to say, i tried to stay friends, but could not, she kept asking me to go for lunch, but I could just feel it was going to end up in bed. She left me in such a poor emotional state that I would not have been able to handle that one more time, even though the desire was there. You have to consciously protect yourself.

I echo musician's sentiments here. Trying to stay friends was too difficult for me also, and in the end I had to protect myself.

For a couple of months after we split she was very keen to keep in touch, but she was giving me such mixed signals when we did meet (blaming me for the breakup one minute, then making sexual advances the next) that I decided I need to sort it out for my own sake. I broke all contact.

But what is right for me isn't right for everyone. When there are feelings involved and, boy, do we know how strong those feelings can be, it can make life, not to mention decision-making, very difficult. I don't mind admitting I was a mess for a while but my instinct told me that I had to break free. I was lucky that I had great support from friends and family. And finding this site has been a great help.

Hopefully, whoever is in this type of situation will know when to stay and when to break free. We can only offer our support and experience but ultimately they have to do what is right for them.

Hi Ju:
I completely agree with you on all points, Cheers Musician.