Do HPDs play hard to get?

by **justme** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:36 pm

Thanks

Can I ask were you addicted to your hpd - wait by the phone etc??
How long did they have you on a rope?

Musician924 wrote:Hi CCUMM:
I am not sure i agree with you. My X girlfriend had this young guy running after her when she lived in Munich. They went out together, travelled together, lay on the same bed, cuddled, kissed and what not....He loved her, but he did not get what he wanted, I saw his letters to her to prove that. She NEVER slept with him, and constantly pushed back the date to do so (so it never happened). The young man in question was 6 foot 5, sporty and a real good looking guy, very nice and well educated too (now on a humanitarian mission with the red cross in Africa...he left broken hearted!~). Now why did she not sleep with him? Justly, because he loved her, and was desperate for the same back from her. There was no challenge, he was a walk over, great looking but not exciting according to her perverted definition of excitement. She did sleep with a "friend" after playing tennis. They just "felt like it" apparently. Paradoxes! A control thing in my opinion...her men "puppets on a string" kind of thing.

When she and i first started seeing each other, she showed me lots of letters and photographs from her past, including ones about the young man mentionned above. I questionned her on why she had been so hard on him, but her answers were superficial "none answers" so to speak. I had many pieces of the puzzle in my hands well in advance of our relationship, but my lack of experience with Histrionic personalities did not allow me to understand what was going to happen (until it had happened). She offered herself to me pretty fast sexually, I think because I was not an easy catch, and of course she wanted to get me into her web for the rest. I was perceived as someone "exciting" because i was undergoing separation with my wife, and she wanted to finish the job (or win as she put it herself later on!) so to speak (i say this with hindsight)

So all that to say, that all HPD's are not necessarily an easy lay. In my opinion they like to control whom their "lays" are and this often depends upon the circumstances, that can cover a wide spectrum from the romantic, the sadistic, the challenging, the filthy, the perverted...

Cheers Musician

I can't agree that you made much of a case against the HPD being an easy lay. Of the three relationships you cited she fell right into bed with two of them...

by **Musician924** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 8:34 am

Hi ccum:
There were in fact numerous other young men sniffing around who did not get what they wanted. The cases i mentionned were just to illustrate her paradoxes and her need to control and manipulate men to feel powerful. She seems to get off on that. It could be of course that she did sleep with the others too, but did not wish to admit it too herself (denial) as she was not proud of the relationship or her actions. In any case, I don't believe a word she told me nor disbelieve her either, as she is capable of truth, lies and a mixture of both. Who knows where the truth really lies, and to be honest these days I am completely indifferent to all that (though it does do me good to relate to people that have suffered like we have on this forum.

Hi Justme:
To answer your question I would say it took me a year to 18 months get over the shock and the sadness related to missing her presence. I did not understand how i could have made such mistakes concerning my judgement of her feelings towards me and our relationship. It was my Psy that switched me on to her probably suffering from HPD, then with all that I read here, on Wiki, and in one or two books, I finally started to understand the mechanisms behind her words and actions (which were nonesense!). Since, i have been able to completely put the relationship behind me, though I do feel strong anger from time to time. Indeed the loss and the missing her was replaced by anger, as I realised that I had been dealing with an imposter. I think you shall find its a common sentiment on this forum.

A nice day to both you and ccum :wink:

Musician

by **walking** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 7:53 pm

Musician924 wrote:
Hi Justme:
To answer your question I would say it took me a year to 18 months get over the shock and the sadness related to missing her presence. I did not understand how i could have made such mistakes concerning my judgement of her feelings towards me and our relationship. It was my Psy that switched me on to her probably suffering from HPD, then with all that I read here, on Wiki, and in one or two books, I finally started to understand the mechanisms behind her words and actions (which were nonesense!). Since, i have been able to completely put the relationship behind me, though I do feel strong anger from time to time. Indeed the loss and the missing her was replaced by anger, as I realised that I had been dealing with an imposter. I think you shall find its a common sentiment on this forum.

I concur with Musician, coming to one year anniversary and feel same.

All the best to everyone

walking

by **Optimist77** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:53 pm

walking wrote:
Musician924 wrote:
I did not understand how i could have made such mistakes concerning my judgement of her feelings towards me and our relationship.

A REAL relationship would end their game. They wouldn't want that, would they?

Having sex with somebody does not carry the same emotional attachment for a HPD as it does for non HPD's.

Easy lay or not is a moot point.

People with HPD can discard you just like a used plastic bag, which did serve a purpose at the time of coming home from a supermarket. That's about it.

Was it an important item? Oh yes, At that time!

by **A little Wisernow** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 2:38 am

My Ex HPD would seduce the Pope for the thrill of it......

But she definitley wanted to be in control......she seduced 21 guys
that i know of .........

Few could seduce her.......... unless they knew the magic words....

you're really pretty but..........

bam ! she'd be all over you to prove that you couldn't resist her

Mine was NPD/HPD a beautiful heartless monster..............looked like Liv Tyler...but with a twinge of the BTK's personality and cold stare....

by **JohnJames** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 2:23 pm

Wisernow wrote:Few could seduce her.......... unless they knew the magic words....

you're really pretty but..........

bam ! she'd be all over you to prove that you couldn't resist her.

Pretty much what happened with my hpd.

She has an office fan club and I was the only guy who wasn't circling her desk like a shark.

Now she has a "boyfriend" and brags about his position and how much money he makes.

I'm still confused about the whole "hard-wired to fail" thing. This chick is attracted to money and success like flies to fruit. I can't see her failing at anything but relationships.

by **A little Wisernow** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 12:52 am

How about hard-wired to get bored and move on to the new guy, job, friend, ect........

or hard-wired to let you down '''

hard wired to dump you after a while...........

hard wired to treat you like crap once you're too familiar''''''

by **Musician924** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:01 am

Optimist77 wrote:
walking wrote:
Musician924 wrote:
I did not understand how i could have made such mistakes concerning my judgement of her feelings towards me and our relationship.

A REAL relationship would end their game. They wouldn't want that, would they?

Having sex with somebody does not carry the same emotional attachment for a HPD as it does for non HPD's.

Easy lay or not is a moot point.

People with HPD can discard you just like a used plastic bag, which did serve a purpose at the time of coming home from a supermarket. That's about it.

Was it an important item? Oh yes, At that time!

Hello Optimist:
I strongly agree with what you say about the plastic bag. In what seems to be a deep, meaningful relationship it's a shock to be trashed like that, I thought she was the one, we had plans, we seemed to be best friends.... However the reality was that it was all a facade, i had served my use, and in my case she trashed me when I least expected it, but then took me back out just as quickly, to do the same again a month later. I was totally confused, and I cannot begin to explain the shock, nothing made sense, nothing was rationalized, just kneed jerk decision making that I was on the receiving end of. Initially my internal compass lost the North. However, when I figured what was coming (and that took time to understand, 6 months more in that relationship in order to analyse my intuitions based on the results of her actions; constantly changing, and then digest and rationalize an action plan to escape...) i preferred the trash can to her. I discovered that she was someone that I did not know, she had promoted a false self to seduce me, an imposter.

I saw her at the works canteen yesterday. She had 800 seats to choose from, but naturally chose a place where I would notice her. Knowing that's what she wants through experience, I made a point of ignoring her and enjoying myself in the company i was with.

All in all, often nasty, selfish people that play games with other peoples lives and too often walk away from the aftermath without a scratch. I still often say to myself that she has not payed the bill and should. Then i realise that my ignorance and indifference suffice...she does hate to be ignored :lol:

Musician

by **Bam** » Mon Feb 15, 2010 3:53 am

This particular thread has given me a few LOL's. Can I firstly state to the guys out there that MALE HPDs EXHIBIT the same behaviours - the whole sex thing and playing hard to get - he did that too, so please dont generalise that sample (HPDs) to the whole female population. Sometimes mine would just stop and say 'that's enough for you for now' thinking that i was going to beg him to come back to bed. Needless to say when i acted like i could give a $#%^ and didnt respond in the way he expected/wanted about it and got up and started getting dressed he did a complete back flip and wouldnt let me leave.

The other day I decided to apply the same tactic on him - it was hilarious...we were having great sex (it was always great) and about an hour into it I jumped out of bed and said nonchalantly 'thanks, but Ive had enough of you for now' - he flipped! He went into the bathroom for a good 5 minutes then came storming out saying 'who the hell are you to say that you've had enough from ME??!!' Poor little sex god didnt like his own treatment. Honestly, it was the funniest thing ever - he acted like a little boy (he's 47)...I still lol when I think about it - the look on his face! The astonishment, the total confusion over the role reversal, the whole knocking him off his 'king of sex' pedistal - absolutely LMFAO stuff!!!!!!!

Do HPDs play hard to get?

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Re: Not necessarily the easiest lay...control beats sex!

There were quite a few others lol...

Re: There were quite a few others lol...

Re: There were quite a few others lol...

Re: There were quite a few others lol...

Re: Do HPDs play hard to get?

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