Get A New Guy Before Dumping You ?

Would you say that HPD's like to have a new guy lined up before they dump the old one? And maybe flaunt the new love ? To make sure you get the message.that they're moving on, etc......

Wiser,

Are you, by any chance, any relation to a guy who used to post here by the name of Damon? You tend to remind me of him in some ways...

no. don't know any Damon

Last night I was reading about NPD's ..........she's got a lot of that......she does scheme and plan...........a little, about like a 4year old however.

She does her best planning and scheming with the help of her
only real friend.......an older girl who laughed about cheating on her
husband overseas in the military. This girl tried hard to keep us from marrying...........she's my wifes puppetmaster..........

Wisernow wrote:Would you say that HPD's like to have a new guy lined up before they dump the old one? And maybe flaunt the new love ? To make sure you get the message.that they're moving on, etc......

It's not that they "like to", it's just what they do. It's a basic pattern. There's no thought to it on the part of the HPD.

They can't stand to be alone. They can't stand to be in a relationship. I know you get tired of hearing me say it but it remains true...

The HPD is hard-wired for failure. They are among the most self defeatist of personality disorders.

Where you seem to be having difficulty is that you think all of this drama in your life has something to do with you.

It doesn't.

I feel confident saying that if you could have done something to prevent this turmoil in your life you would have done it.

You stepped in front of a train wreck looking for a place to happen...that's all.

Ditto what ccumm36D said.

It had almost nothing to do with me..i know.....

I am trying to understand her motivation and i think i'm very close....

here's my theory

1. Marriage made her feel trapped ( immediatley) and she was
pissed because we didn't get "money" from our folks........

2. She spent a few days with her NPD girl-friend.

3. She became attracted to her GF's new BF

4. She seduced him. she practically told me he was her new "love" ..............and she was treating me like dog $#%^ ........

5. Etc. ETc. she stabbed me, blah blah blah...........she put a cigarrette out on my arm, she ran the car into the house, blah, blah blah, she cried, etc, etc.

6. then she loved me dearly and wanted me to stay, HA HA

7. I left her crying in the floor.


The End

That's all typical HPD behavior Wisernow. It mirrors my situation in a lot of ways. Just be glad that you got out when you did. This could have easily taken place 5 years down the line instead of now...

1. Marriage made her feel trapped ( immediatley) and she was
pissed because we didn't get "money" from our folks........

2. She spent a few days with her NPD girl-friend.

3. She became attracted to her GF new BF

4. She seduced him. she practically told me he was her new "love" ..............and she was treating me like dog $#%^ ........

When she moved in with me, she says she felt "trapped" and claims I was not giving her the attention she deserved (sorry, I have a job that prevents me from giving her attention 24/7).

She starts hanging out with a group of mostly single girls, $#%^ talking me and telling them how horrible I treat her. Of course they advise her to get out of this "horrible situation" the HPD has played up for them.

On one of her nights out, she meets a guy that's interested in hooking up with her. With the attention he is putting forth into trying to get her in bed, she perceives this as "love" and in turn falls "in love" with him.

Now with this new "love" around to satisfy her needs, I become expendable and she in turn treats me like dog $#%^. Nevermind the fact that I have to sleep next to the dumb whore every night...

5. Etc. ETc. she stabbed me, blah blah blah...........she put a cigarrette out on my arm, she ran the car into the house, blah, blah blah, she cried, etc, etc.

Oh, the violent temper...

I was physically assaulted on many occasions. It climaxed in her coming into my room with a knife screaming "I'm going to ######6 kill you!" She did manage to slice up my arm pretty bad. That was the last night she stayed in my apartment.

6. then she loved me dearly and wanted me to stay, HA HA

She tried this multiple times during the three week period I gave her to find a new place to live after I broke up with her. I luckily managed to see through it every time.

7. I left her crying in the floor.

And in the end, her life is a complete mess. She lives in some dingy basement apartment, works a low-paying dead-end job, has had a string of guys that only want to hook up without the relationship she desires and barely has any friends left.

Things sure do look bleak on her end. Karma can be a bitch sometimes.

I didn't realise Histrionics slipped so easily into domestive violence and abuse, discussions on this forum all seemed based more around emotional turmoil.

I know NPD's often go over the edge into domestic violence.

So thanks guys, for the education.

(It gives me some insight into the rarer occasions of females perpetuating DV)

I didn't realise Histrionics slipped so easily into domestive violence and abuse, discussions on this forum all seemed based more around emotional turmoil.

The emotional turmoil was constant, but the physical violence (as scary as it was) occurred only in isolated incidents. I don't think that all HPDs resort to violence in this way, but the ones that do show a striking similarity in the way they react.

I'm sure we all know by now about the "seeing red" temper tantrums thrown by the HPD when they don't get their way. This is when the violence would erupt. With my HPD ex, it would happen when she realized that her screaming and shouting and childish antics during the tantrum weren't phasing me. At that point, she would irrationally bring it to that next level. This only started to happen during the last 6 months of our relationship.

Thanks guys....................

You're helping me understand.............