Online false allegations of drink spiking / sex assault

Hi,

I come to this forum as a NON seeking advice on how best to deal with this situation. I understand that HPD is a serious illness and I have genuine sympathy and respect for people affected by this condition. I need help and advice on how best to react (or not react) to very serious allegations made about me on social media. I

This Summer I went on a couple of dates with a girl that has done some glamour modelling and earns regular income through cam-girl work. Looking at how she conducts herself online, in real life and through our old messenger conversations (it appears clear now that she was lying about having broken up with her boyfriend) I believe it's very likely she has HPD as she is so sexual, always seeking attention and talks in a vague impressionistic manner. Lets caller her Z.

On the second date with Z we went to a nightclub and bumped into a girl she knows (an acquaintance not a friend) in a nightclub and this girl was doing some podium dancing. She was really good. As someone that works in nightclubs myself I told the girl that she was good and offered to try and get her work as a dancer at my work. That was that, and I carried on my night with Z, which ended with us sleeping together.

The next day Z messages me saying she had a nice time. Then a few hours later she messages saying that she's not really interested to date again and took issue with the fact I've not offered her any dancing work, whist also saying she didn't think the other girl was very good anyway. (I have no reason to think Z would be a good dancer, and she's also not slim anymore so would be rejected by management anyway). I responded saying I'm sorry she felt that way and to have a nice life.

A few weeks later she messages angry that I've unfollowed her on instagram and noting I've liked some of the other dancers photos on instagram. She said a few things in the hope of hurting me and provoking a response, but I rose above it and again wished her a nice life. That is the last direct contact I have had with her.

7 weeks later (last weekend) and she puts up a status on FB (hidden from me) saying she won't be attending the nightclub I work at again because they employ me and accuses me of spiking drinks, sexual assault and planning on doing it again. A day later the status is deleted. It's clear she wanted to turn the dancer girl against me, sink my reputation and get me sacked from my employment in revenge for me offering to try get this girl some dancing work without making the same offer to Z. She clearly perceives that I am more attracted to the dancer than her and I must be punished for this.

I have seen a screenshot of the status and the dancer girl had commented making it clear that they have had a private conversation about me. With the help of a mutual friend, the dancer girl has now been put straight that I would never do anything like what I m accused of. The dancer girl forwarded me a screenshot of messages from Z claiming that I sexually assaulted her and that she has attempted to take her own life as recently as last week.

My employers at the nightclub were alerted to the status before it was deleted, and have assured me they do not believe a word of it but are wary of the potential PR disaster. No one else has been in touch with me about this, so it appears that the rumours have not spread far, however I now live in daily fear that she may try this again, or that she could even make a false allegation to the police. I

I feel I have 2 options at this point.

Option 1) Get a solicitor to send a letter to Z making her aware that I know about her smear campaign, advising her that she is breaking the law with slander / libel and requesting she send a signed retraction or risk facing a lawsuit. This way I have a paper trail of denial should anything further occur in the future.

However, this could result in provoking her to make more false allegations on Social Media and to the police, eventually some people will believe what they hear from her which will be highly damaging to me and stressful for my friends and family. She may be hoping for a reaction in which case this option plays into her hands, or she may have just wanted to get revenge on me behind my back and be shocked when a legal letter comes, I'm not sure.

Option 2) Do nothing. Be thankful my reputation is still currently sound and hope that the issue has passed and that by not giving a girl with suspected HPD any further attention she moves on. But of course if anything more did happen, people may ask why I didn't take legal action sooner. And I'd always feel like she got away with it. I'd never feel secure that she wouldn't try it again one day.

What would you guys suggest would be her reaction to receiving a legal letter as detailed in option 1? I can see genuine potential pitfalls to both options but factoring in that she likely has HPD might make one option more logical than another?

Thanks for your time and advice.

Well she slept with you so you'd give her a job. You probably went along with her manipulation and out-manipulated her for her pussy, so since she's unstable she's going off. If her life is sh*t she may try to take it out on you, angry that you outplayed her. Maybe if she gets a job or whatever she's looking for elsewhere and her life gets better she'll give up on you. It's a lesson to learn, guys can't get sex through manipulative means, even if what you did wasn't illegal, because girls like her will lie to get you back after you hurt/annoy them and could possibly be believed.

Zoicite23 wrote:Well she slept with you so you'd give her a job. You probably went along with her manipulation and out-manipulated her for her pussy, so since she's unstable she's going off. If her life is sh*t she may try to take it out on you, angry that you outplayed her. Maybe if she gets a job or whatever she's looking for elsewhere and her life gets better she'll give up on you. It's a lesson to learn, guys can't get sex through manipulative means, even if what you did wasn't illegal, because girls like her will lie to get you back after you hurt/annoy them and could possibly be believed.

It was more the fact I was praising someone else that caused all this. At no point did I lead her on to think that sleeping with me would open any doors at all and to be honest she didn't give an impression that she wanted a dancing job, simply that she was jealous I offered one to someone else. I'm still interested to know which of my 2 options people think I should go for? I'm thinking given the seriousness of the allegations I'll skip the solicitors and go straight to the police.

Deleted it. This is indicative of fear or regret. It had zero impact. Unless there is personal gain in pursuing someone that effectively ghosted themselves, no point in spending the time and energy. Smear campaigns happen.

"Show your teeth, now play dead."

Hi Victimized,

There is a 3rd option you didn't mention, and it's the one I'd recommend if you are still struggling with this. Any advice we give here is just what we think we would do in your position. A 50/50 gamble that the advice is correct, so no better than flipping a coin.

The 3rd option is run this by legal counsel (i.e., a lawyer). Unfortunately you will have to pay for a legal consult, and there is always a risk that they are unethical too. That they suggest whatever would make the lawyer the most profit (i.e., that would be option #2, more billable hours). Ultimately the decision would still be yours, but they might be able to at least help you better understand the pros and cons of do nothing vs taking a preemptive action.