Hugs / Cuddly / Cuddling (HPDs)

Hello!

I wonder if some of the persons on this forum who have or have had H traits currently have, or have had in earlier periods of their lives, a genuine special inclination for cuddling or quite on the opposite, a special aversion to cuddling? And if so, which Histrionic subtype(s) would best describe your H behaviours? ("Genuine" being in the sense of it not being used as a means to an end, but as an end itself, as either a positive or negative drive coming from intense primary internal feelings such as affection or pain)

The reasons I ask for this are manyfold:

(1) I have worked with a girl who became my friend and who I now realize have very strong HPD traits, and she represents one radical position on this in that, though she would freely herself at times come and cuddle with me in ways I found very intimate (for a friend), when things were the other way around (in a very neutral and non-intimate way this time) and I would give her a hug (either because she was feeling down, or stressed, or to say hello in the morning), I would many times get shocked by a very averse reaction from her part, saying very intense things such as "You can't hug me, you're not my boyfriend", "It makes me horny", "It hurts me", "If you touch me then I start thinking we are a couple, and then it hurts inside". It appeared to me very disproportionate and disconnected from the situation, and quite bothering to me, (1) because I'm used to hug everyone around me at appropriate moments and never get a rejection (whether from boys or from girls), (2) because I feel things very deeply and her disproportionate and very unexpected reactions would catch me off guard and be hurtful even though I know I was behaving the same with her as with any other friend, (3) because as I experienced it, I felt a huge hypocrisy at the time between the two extremes of her sometimes coming and cuddling with me in almost overly intimate manners as my friends normally don't, on one side, and on the other side rejecting very neutral hugs offered at appropriate times, which none of my friends reject, and last of all, (4) because such reactions from her made me uncomfortable seeing her, as I would not be able to be relaxed as I normally am, but constantly walk on eggshells asking myself what I could talk about or what I couldn't (she was also very sensitive on that), and when I could behave as with any other friend and when I couldn't. I knew then from many aspects of her behavior that this friend was deeply hurt inside but I couldn't really understand how (or more accurately, I knew it was from her childhood and I knew what to connect it to, but I saw it as something very specific to her own experiences and not as a general defense mechanisms with similarities to others).
My main goal is to learn as much as possible about PDs to better understand a different girl I feel connected to, but I provide this example only to show one extreme I have experienced with a person displaying H traits when it comes to cuddles (and if I can learn anything meaningful about this, I'd be happy to provide her with the information if it might help her).
I did later notice some similarities between this friend and the girl I feel connected to, but I attributed these similarities to both of them being very feminine. Every time I would ask this friend to help me understand something about the girl I liked, she would react very negatively and refuse to help me out on it, but a very few times she gave me insights for a few minutes which were extremely different from my own way of thinking but strikingly similar to the way of thinking of the girl I liked, and explained things to me I would have never been able to understand with my (as I saw it at the time) "male" mindset.

(2) On the other end of the cuddling behavior spectrum, there is the girl I liked, and there is myself also.
When I met her, one thing I observed with this girl was that she was particularly cuddly towards her mum, to her lesser extent to her sister, and as it came to be, towards me. It really struck me as it reminded me of myself when I was at a much younger age. I had never observed anyone like that other than myself before, and I had come to think that this was a peculiarity of my own personality. I can remember how annoyed my older sister would be when I was a kid, when I would many times spontaneously hug my mum, my dad, my little brother, close relatives or even close friends of my parents who often came to visit (in that order of frequency). I've also always been very affectionate towards all my girlfriends during my teens and later adult life.
In the process of learning as much as possible about PDs to better understand this girl, I've had the opportunity to realize things about myself which in part explain why I felt and am feeling so connected to her. I have some H traits too, to a lesser degree (mostly of the Infantile kind). Now while her behaviors strongly reminded me of myself from an external point of view, and I felt we were the same, I know I may have been wrong, that we perhaps had the same behavior with different internal motives/drives and we might be experiencing things differently. On my side, my behavior was motivated purely by very deep feelings of affection for people around me (my older sister increasingly being annoyed by it at a later age, if anything, only had a negative influence on my propension to behave like that). But perhaps the girl I like didn't feel the same inside as I did, while still outwardly acting in ways similar to how I acted? I don't feel it is the case but I have to question myself on everything to try to find where reality stands.

(3) If there is any link between H traits and cuddling, it might reveal a neurochemical basis (in addition to a neurostructural basis) for HPD. I've read a few research reports already (there are not many unfortunately) which in my mind hinted towards some possibilities. If any such link might be confirmed, and if she would want to cooperate with me, I could try to push the state of science on this in order to help her manage her defense mechanisms and grow herself yet beyond the possibilities afforded by current "state-of-the-art" approaches to treating HPD, which would also help other people with HPD traits desiring to better manage their lives on a general and interpersonal level.

When she WAS in the mood for cuddles etc it was amazing. Sometimes quite bold initiating when she wanted when she was in a calm non-anxious mood.

BUT. Yep. Mine had this need for control. Seemed to expect me to read the non-verbal signals when she wanted physical contact and if she didn't get what she wanted she'd get all nasty, cold, distant, even hateful (I think over-reacting to perceived rejection by delivering MOUNTAINS of hateful vibes to me). When I followed up she'd say she was just feeling down, there was no particular reason blah blah.

If I misread something and initiated contact she'd be all cold and prickly like 'how dare you touch me'. It was shocking. It got so initiating anything was terrifying because of these p. So ultimately it was up to her, not very mutual. Very anxious person, clenching fists, taking little time outs to calm herself. She also drank to cope.

She was very touchy feely with many people, casual acquaintances. Along with all the other HPD traits.

I started to conclude that this behavior was f***ing with my sexuality and the periodic hateful coldness was demolishing me. Lucky to have broke it off for this and other reasons.