devaluation question for HPDs

I'm looking for some advice from someone who has HPD (and as has been suggested to me, I'll also look for advice on the SOF&F forum). I know this forum well and appreciate how taboo this topic is, but my goal is to enter into a relationship with someone in my life who has HPD. We're both older (early 40's). I've known her for over a decade. I don't know what she was like before that obviously, but as some of you may know, personality disorder traits tend to lessen in intensity with age.

I'm looking for some advice on how to shorten the duration of a devaluation cycle. It was prompted by a perceived rejection. I eventually figured out she wanted a kiss but I hadn't felt that we were at that point yet (we're officially friends). And as is well understood, those with HPD aren't the greatest at communicating what they want.

Anyway, it's not an extreme devaluation, but I've detected it nonetheless. Do I just sit back, not contact her, and wait it out? I like to explain things but I know logic and reason are unlikely to get me very far. Basically I want to see her again soon but feel a little stuck right now because I don't want to elicit further devaluation.

Just looking for some real world advice. I've read multiple books on HPD, but thus far haven't found a hell of a lot of practical advice. Please keep any negative comments to yourself...believe me, I've heard them all before!