Messed up!

Ok so I posted on here a few weeks ago about my ex wife, and got some really good advice. To sum things up, I meet this girl when I was 17,and she was 20. Started seeing each other even though she had a boyfriend. Well she would tell me how he abused her and so on.

We'll see got married and divorced. We always kept in touch, and since she lives where my family lives, we would see each other often and still have sex. We'll about a year and a half ago I brought her to where I live and decided to try again.

Well things didn't work out and she suddenly left for another man. I was hurt and shocked and confused and I didn't know what to do. I gave this woman everything and she never had a job while we were together. I guess I thought it was all my fault and she told me it was.

Well I decided to stop talking to her and move on. And I was starting to when she messaged me out of the blue. She asked me to come pick her up, and for some reason I did.

I know she had a boyfriend, and she still grabbed my hand and kissed me and asked me if I miss her and still love her which of course I do. I just don't understand why I can't just let it go.

I know she just wants the attention and to know she can still have me. And she plays on the fact that I really love her. I just don't know why if I know it's bad that I can't stop. She is the one woman that I find myself comparing my other girlfriends to, and the one woman that I've the past 12 years couldn't let go of.

When I try to reflect on why i do this, i just come up empty. I wasn't abandoned as a child and my parents were both good patents to me. I wasn't neglected, so why am I so attracted to this one woman? I mean she is very beautiful and I know that the sex is something that has always been amazing together or not.

She just dress pretty provocatively, and since she has very large breasts, it's not hard for her to wear something that's pretty suggestive. And she is very very flirtatious. I've had friends tell us we aren't welcome because their wives are upset because they feel like my lady was flirting with their husband's. But my lady will say it's just their own insecurities she can't help that she's beautiful and men stare at her.

I guess my main question and why I'm writing this is how do I get over my ex, since I know it's bad for me to be with her. Also, why do I compare all of my girlfriends to her? And finally, how can I convince her that I love her and she needs therapy? Is it even possible? Is there some way that I can show her that she needs help? I just feel like 12 years is z long time and I don't want to just throw her away. Even though I know that she's bad for me, why do I feel so in love with her? I mean she has done some awful things to me, so why am I always going back?

Sorry for the long post, and thanks in advance for your answers and thoughts..

Hey Bigwhat82334,

If you are still interested in answers, please post in the Significant Others, Family & Friends forum, as this forum is for those with HPD, to provide them with a place to reflect.

That written,

I think you are way over thinking what happened. Sexual interest runs pretty shallow or deep depending on how you look at it.

Deep, because it triggers our deepest primal instincts, and odds are most of what you thought you saw was projection of what you wanted to see.

Shallow, because you really know nothing about her on a day to day, real relationship basis.

Not much more too it really